I'm a lawyer making business decisions

It finally happened.

That day I swore I'd fight off for a lifetime finally made it's way into my life.

I work at an upstanding firm suing the shite out of people. Some injuries...some malpractice...mostly divorce and child custody. As I pulled my Bugatti Chiron into my parking space, I noticed a beat down minivan that I have never seen parked up front. "They're here," I said to myself. I walked into the office and there they were. My intuition got me to top of my class at a certain law school in Cambridge, MA and it brought me face to face with the Mastersons. Better known to most as the midget family.

I tried to make a dash for the wine cellar but they were too fast. They really know how to pump those tiny legs when they're angry. I was surrounded. As I reached for my cell phone, my press box season tickets to every professional sports team in the state spilled onto the floor. To the Mastersons that was the equivalent of blood in the water.

"I'm suing all of you and I'm not stopping short again," I yelled at the top of my testosterone filled lungs. "Damnit Mastersons! I'll sue you this time in court so hard!" The biggest one took a tiny step forward and looked right into my crotch and said, "Next time, there won't be a next time." I opened my eyes and like that they were gone. As I write this, I'm looking for my secretary to figure out the court dates.

Wish me luck. Just joking...I don't need your handouts.