re: If you had a chance to get back with an ex, would you?

Just remember, there is a reason she's your ex.

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I would give her a good fricking, but that's it......

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Could you imagine finding out your SO was Peej's ex?

I'll have a hemlock and make it a double.

Yes, without question.

Assuming I'm single at that time haha.

Sure, wouldn't give it a second thought.

I mean what could possibly go wrong?

Yes, for the sex.

Don't tell my wife

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Let's just assume that , in your case , it sounds like this may have been your only girlfriend.

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Negative, sir. Its just that in this case, as Rando said, we made each other better.

There is a certain specific ex to whom I'd absolutely answer yes

So, let me provide a little more into it... We "met" through a friend while she was stationed in Iraq. Talked/emailed/video over the course of 8 months - several times a day.

After she came home, we met face to face at a party that same friend threw. We pretty much started dating almost right away. Harley was and still is, fiercely loyal to whomever she is in a relationship with. After a year of dating, I dropped hints but she always said later. So I was getting discouraged - I wanted more in this relationship, but I think part of me thought Harley wasn't wifey material. Maybe it was in my mind, back then, that getting my brains screwed out on the first date wasn't indicative of wife material...or maybe I just thought that Harley wasn't into the idea of marriage. She was 26 at the time. After almost a year of exclusiveness, I wanted more and thought of marriage but was afraid to ask. I'm not sure what led to what happened next.

One day on my lunch hour, I was in a bookstore where I was approached by this gorgeous woman. We talked for a bit and she asked if I wanted to get drinks sometime. At that time, Harley was out of town on TAD so I said sure. This was the first and only time I have ever been unfaithful to anyone...Ever and never have since.

So drinks led to dinner. And it kind of roller coasted from there. This woman was really into me. One night we got drinks at a local bar, when one of Harley's friends saw us. Well, you can imagine what happened. When she returned the next week, it was one of the worst things I have ever seen. Just plain awful. And that played on my mind for years. I ran into a friend of hers a couple of months after that, and she told me Harley had re-upped to get away. Ugh.

The new woman, my well-documented ex, and I kept dating. In 2008 we were married. But my thoughts never ever really left Harley...I put her away in a little box on the shelf and really only opened it on certain dates and such.

Fast forward to 2011. I get an invite on LinkedIn from Harley. So I accepted. But the conversations weren't there. Over the course of the years, I sent messages but she'd never answer. However, after each job change/update, she would send a congratulations message and nothing else.

At the time, I thought I had a good marriage. But still, Harley would sneak in. As ya'll know, this year my wife and I divorced. We have two beautiful kids, too.

Fast forward to SEPT 2016. I get a new job and update my LinkedIn. Also get a congrats message from Harley. I decided to message her on FB. It took several weeks before she replied - and that was after several messages from me. At first she was very short, but opened up. It led to me giving her my number and her calling - that was the first time in almost 10 years that I heard her voice. We talked for about an hour. Emails/messages/calls and eventually facetime followed and I must say, the conversation flowed as if we never stopped talking. Old memories were opening up. She ended by saying "you never know what the new year will bring." She was always kinda cryptic like that.

A few weeks ago, I sent her a rather lengthy email - one expressing regret of the way things happened. A week passed and she never replied. A couple of weeks later or I got a letter in the mail, well rather a letter in a letter. In the envelope was a note, and an old letter postmarked 2008 - one of those return to sender types - apparently it was sent after I moved back then. The note said "I'm not sure." That's all it said. The letter, however, was a different story. In it was so much pain and so much heartbreak. I never have read that much emotion in a letter - all seven pages of it. And I read it over and over that night. Also, in the old letter were two tickets that were dated SEPT 2007. In the letter she had told me she saved up for a long time to purchase the tickets. It seemed that she wanted to have that serious talk about us - and that she wanted to get married and maybe she was even going to ask me. I was floored reading that. I never knew. Never. Never had an inkling that she loved me. I must admit, it tore me apart reading that. I just never knew.

Don't take this in the wrong way but that is all such a waste of time-in life.

If it was real it would have happened, no pretense, no BS. But people are dumb in their 20's. So stop wasting time with BS. She wrote a 7 page letter you told her how you felt, what's the problem? Try living together, enjoy life and cherish your children above all.

Love from,

Dear Abby.