I went to this golf course yesterday and the weirdest thing happened.

So I'm in town for a bachelor party and I found this nice little private course in NoCal on golfnow.com for $25 dollars a round. Too good to pass up. Got us an extra case of Natty Light at the Dollar Store just outside the gate with all that savings.

Anyhoo, we get to number 12 and my buddy hit's a slice straight out of Happy Gilmore. Smash...Hit's this house off to the right. The mother fricker had at least 30 windows. I'm turn to my buddy and ask, "who would put 30 windows facing the fairway on such a tiny little house? Hope they're shatterproof."

My buddy walks toward the house to look for his ball and then strangest thing happens. This tiny little fat man, probably 5'1"and 250 lbs, comes out screaming at us with a hamburger in his hands garbling something.

He gets closer, “Hey, you guys *garble garble* a window.”

I look at my friend and say, "What did he say?'' You have to understand, you could hardly understand this fatty with the echo from his double chin.

He yells, “Hey a-holes, in case you didn’t hear me - you *garble* a window.”

He gets frustrated because we can't understand his garbled Yankee accent and waddles off back toward his house murmuring something. At this point, we're a case and a half in and just shrug it off and keep playing.

We finally make it up to the 18th tee and here comes this fat little man screeching around the corner in his Humvee styled golf cart.

He rolls up to us and say, “Hey, guys, I know you heard me - one of you broke my window.”

He looked directly at me and says, “Listen bud, I wasn’t really upset until you ignored me when I asked if you broke the window.”

To which I said, “Well I didn’t break it, so a no-answer was an honest answer.”

My buddy is like, “Your approach of coming out here yelling at us isn’t helping. I was the one who broke it not him."

He is now red in the face, “Ok guys, here’s the deal. You guys aren’t members here. You know how I know that? Members here have class and offer to pay for things they break. Plus you guys are clearly awful at golf.”

I start to pull out my wallet and I'm like buddy, "We would be more than happy to pay if he could just settle down for a moment."

He starts spouting off about shitting 100 dollar bills and that he doesn't need our honkey arse money.

How was your Monday?

Got a photo of him. Anybody know him?