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Started By
Message
1
Posted on 2/7/17 at 10:29 pm to hendersonshands
Posted on 2/7/17 at 10:31 pm to doublecutter
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
Posted on 2/7/17 at 10:46 pm to Masterag
I tell ya, I don't get any respect at all. Just last week I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide." He told me from now on I have to pay in advance!
Posted on 2/7/17 at 11:15 pm to 62Tigerfan
Guy walks into a psych office naked, wrapped in Saran Wrap.
Tells the doc that he thinks he's going insane
Doctor replies "clearly I can see your nuts"
Tells the doc that he thinks he's going insane
Doctor replies "clearly I can see your nuts"
Posted on 2/8/17 at 6:53 am to hendersonshands
I was going to tell another chemistry joke, but I wasn't sure I'd get a reaction.
Posted on 2/8/17 at 7:33 am to blueridgeTiger
quote:
was going to tell another chemistry joke
Don't bother, all the good ones argon.
Posted on 2/8/17 at 7:47 am to LucasP
quote:
good ones argon.
Posted on 2/8/17 at 2:14 pm to hendersonshands
With the Oscars coming up, I was recently reminded of that time my scarecrow won an award. He was out standing in his field.
Posted on 2/8/17 at 3:39 pm to hendersonshands
That reminds me of the camel I saw at the zoo. It too had a nice bump.
Posted on 2/8/17 at 3:43 pm to PsychTiger
I just finished a book about anti-gravity. I couldn't put it down.
Posted on 2/8/17 at 3:48 pm to 62Tigerfan
I tell ya, I don't get no respect.
Me and my wife check in to a fancy hotel.
I tell the bellman, "Hey son, take my bag."
He picks up my wife and runs up the stairs.
I tell ya, no respect.
Me and my wife check in to a fancy hotel.
I tell the bellman, "Hey son, take my bag."
He picks up my wife and runs up the stairs.
I tell ya, no respect.
Posted on 2/8/17 at 4:02 pm to soccerfüt
Want to hear a joke about sodium?
Na
You want to hear a joke about sodium hypobromite?
NaBrO
Na
You want to hear a joke about sodium hypobromite?
NaBrO
Posted on 2/8/17 at 4:09 pm to TigerDeacon
Posted on 2/8/17 at 4:17 pm to Cdawg
Why can't you explain puns to a kleptomaniac?
They always take things literally.
What does a house wear?
Address.
Why can't a bicycle stand up on its own?
It's two-tired.
When's the best time to go to the dentist?
Two-thirty.
What do you do with chemists when they die?
Barium.
A pet store had a bird contest.
No perches necessary.
The furniture store keeps calling me to come back.
All I wanted was one night stand.
LINK
I can't believe I got fired from the calendar company.
All I did was take a day off.
How did I escape Iraq?
Iran.
I wasn't going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
It's impossible to put down.
What do you call the security outside of a Samsung Store?
Guardians of the Galaxy.
I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
A hole was found in the wall of a nudist camp. The police are looking into it.
His secretary could not attend the Innuendo Seminar, so he had to fill her slot.
LINK
Somebody stole the toilet from the police station.
The cops have nothing to go on.
They always take things literally.
What does a house wear?
Address.
Why can't a bicycle stand up on its own?
It's two-tired.
When's the best time to go to the dentist?
Two-thirty.
What do you do with chemists when they die?
Barium.
A pet store had a bird contest.
No perches necessary.
The furniture store keeps calling me to come back.
All I wanted was one night stand.
LINK
I can't believe I got fired from the calendar company.
All I did was take a day off.
How did I escape Iraq?
Iran.
I wasn't going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
It's impossible to put down.
What do you call the security outside of a Samsung Store?
Guardians of the Galaxy.
I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
A hole was found in the wall of a nudist camp. The police are looking into it.
His secretary could not attend the Innuendo Seminar, so he had to fill her slot.
LINK
Somebody stole the toilet from the police station.
The cops have nothing to go on.
This post was edited on 2/8/17 at 4:44 pm
Posted on 2/18/17 at 7:00 am to hendersonshands
(no message)
This post was edited on 5/4/17 at 3:44 am
Posted on 2/18/17 at 8:18 am to pioneerbasketball
Dyslexic guy walks into a bra.
Posted on 8/29/17 at 2:45 pm to hendersonshands
Men and women really like to socialize with those who can create a joke out of their everyday habits, as many of us are very corny in regards to our day-to-day lives. Some people are able to tell and jokes and a few folks can't.'' It's hard to earn someone see the humor. In addition to that, it's fairly unpredictable when you're attempting to guess what sort of random humor you'll run into. So, the fun ought to be controlled. LINK
Posted on 8/29/17 at 2:49 pm to domika102
Excellent bump.
Posted on 8/29/17 at 3:00 pm to PsychTiger
quote:
bar bitch you ate."
Barbiturate...good one
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