re: I find it strange how men get attacked for expressing reservations about getting married

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find it strange how men get attacked for expressing reservations about getting married

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It’s not strange. It’s women doing the attacking

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Not sure why people don’t utilize pre-nuptial agreements more often.


Would start the marriage off on a rocky note. Father-in-law would probably also hold a grudge against you.


Who gives a F about the Father-in-law holding a grudge?
Is he going to reimburse you for lost assets?
Is he going to pay your alimony & child support?

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I think majority of normal people who get married don't have much when they do. Why sign a prenup when you don't have a whole lot in the beginning? I get it if you have a business tied up or if you have family money, but signing a prenup just to sign one isn't a good start to a marriage.

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I’ve seen plenty of men cheat, too. I know on TD all the men are perfect and no has cheated - but let’s not forget that a lot of times men cheat, too. Plenty of times men are not there for their wives and are abusive as well. Many men are selfish, too. Just the facts of life.

But we tend not to be introspective on TD and just join the herd with women bashing.

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Obviously this is correct and probably understated because you know your audience.

BUT

What I thinks frustrating for men is that as female promiscuity/hypergamy/whatever has arguably spiked, there is no correlated institutional/social voice saying "hey that's terrible, don't do that" from the female side.

Say what you will about red pill manosphere spaces, but I rarely see people in these "communities" saying "yeah, cheat on your wife if you're unhappy, know your worth." Rather, the condemnations can be pretty harsh. And that's a very male-specific space, in addition to the rest of society which is very quick to blame men for every ill in a relationship (it's a theme in pretty much everything our culture produces).

There is no equivalent on the female side. There is no mainstream self-policing inside female culture that is healthy in this regard. When occasionally something pops up on this front, it's often entirely self-absorbed ie, "know your worth, but this time by not sleeping around." Which is better than nothing, but it's still in a very self-centered paradigm.

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Not sure why people don’t utilize pre-nuptial agreements more often. Seems like it would save folks a lot of headaches.

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People here really dont understand how little pre-nups actually help unless you are very rich going into the marriage.

1) A judge can throw it out if they deem it unfair

2) Any investments made after the marriage with your money can make it community property

3) Inheritance is mostly already protected. What you do with it after, isnt

Alot of yall think you can sign a prenup, be married and have kids for 15 years, then frick a tattooed up chick at the bar and walk away with 90% of the marital assets

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But if a man is hesitant for his lifelong financial future to hinge on the emotions of his current girlfriend then he is a misogynist.

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Who the frick are you people hanging out with

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Even then there's a good chance that the woman you married at 25 isn't the same woman you're married to at 55.
Gray divorce rates are sky high.
For a man the risk of financial ruin from the Mrs. doesn't end until death.

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If you go into marriage with that exclusive mentality, then no it's not going to be successful for you. You can't treat it like a transactional exchange. Both people have things to lose if a divorce was to happen. Some financial but some definitely not.

I think the larger issue is people not being very real and transparent about what they want from their partner in a marriage and expectations. And understanding that people continue to grow and change after marriage, it's about growing together.

As far as gray divorce rates go, I'd be willing to bet a lot of those people threw everything into their kids instead of continuing to cultivate their personal relationship alongside raising their kids. And when the kids moved out, they were two totally different people.

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I’ve seen plenty of men cheat, too. I know on TD all the men are perfect and no has cheated - but let’s not forget that a lot of times men cheat, too. Plenty of times men are not there for their wives and are abusive as well. Many men are selfish, too. Just the facts of life.

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Don’t talk to me about the “facts of life” while pretending that men cheating, being selfish, etc is the same as women doing it.
Throughout history women have had to use their powers to civilize men, because of the nature of testosterone. What’s new is women giving into their most base impulses and being proud of it/suffering no societal consequences for it.

As that tatted up divorce atty who is everywhere now says: when you get married, you are basically willy nilly opting out of the title system (the English common law land ownership traditions).