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Started By
Message
How the Birds and the Bees was told to me when I was 11
Posted on 9/19/18 at 5:57 pm
Posted on 9/19/18 at 5:57 pm
Back when i was 11 years old my dad was taking me to school at Lakeshore Elementary when he decided to tell me about the "Birds and dem Bees".
It went like this. I remember it thoroughly.
Even then, it was quite the concept.
We pulled out of Westside Drive and i was half asleep and hungry, but instead of my belly being filled my head was.
My dad opened up like a chime from hell, "Son, i think it is time to tell you about the birds and the bees".. i had no idea WTF he was referring to, as back then we were actually boys still and those concepts werent taught in school--kindergarden--as of yet.
So he began in earnest fashion, "Son, women have a thing between their legs that is similar to a rubber ducky in the tub: yes, it squeaks and goes "squeak" when you play with it; Men have a tool that is meant to please that ducky and make it squeel like a pig. You put it in and once you are done babies are made".
The End.
How was your experience?
It went like this. I remember it thoroughly.
Even then, it was quite the concept.
We pulled out of Westside Drive and i was half asleep and hungry, but instead of my belly being filled my head was.
My dad opened up like a chime from hell, "Son, i think it is time to tell you about the birds and the bees".. i had no idea WTF he was referring to, as back then we were actually boys still and those concepts werent taught in school--kindergarden--as of yet.
So he began in earnest fashion, "Son, women have a thing between their legs that is similar to a rubber ducky in the tub: yes, it squeaks and goes "squeak" when you play with it; Men have a tool that is meant to please that ducky and make it squeel like a pig. You put it in and once you are done babies are made".
The End.
How was your experience?
21
Posted on 9/19/18 at 5:58 pm to reo45
My 2 year old son turned to me and in perfect english said I remember when your grandmother and I conceived your father.
My grandfather died 10 years ago.
My grandfather died 10 years ago.
Posted on 9/19/18 at 5:59 pm to reo45
My father said “keep your pecker in your pants boy.”
My mother said “dear god don’t get anyone pregnant.”
The End.
My mother said “dear god don’t get anyone pregnant.”
The End.
Posted on 9/19/18 at 6:00 pm to The Boat
Lololol
Posted on 9/19/18 at 6:03 pm to reo45
Awww skeet skeet skeet motherfricker
Posted on 9/19/18 at 6:03 pm to reo45
My dad pretty much explained things straight.
I hadn't yet told him about my stash of Playboys though.
I hadn't yet told him about my stash of Playboys though.
Posted on 9/19/18 at 6:05 pm to reo45
My mom said. You better not get any little girls pregnant, then I got the death stare.
Posted on 9/19/18 at 6:07 pm to reo45
My dad just taught me via random comments. Ie how to pick up strippers. "Sit at the bar, and "ignore" them. They dont have to know you are watching thru the mirror behind the bar"
Or...."I remember when the first asian girl moved into the area. We all wondered if asian girls have a slanted poon too.....they don't" *wink*
My mom would too. Her best was when we were watching TV, and the topic of vasectomy came up. She looked over at me, and said "never let a woman convince you to get a vasectomy. Men always need to be able to reproduce."...."ok mom..." had no clue what she meant.
Or...."I remember when the first asian girl moved into the area. We all wondered if asian girls have a slanted poon too.....they don't" *wink*
My mom would too. Her best was when we were watching TV, and the topic of vasectomy came up. She looked over at me, and said "never let a woman convince you to get a vasectomy. Men always need to be able to reproduce."...."ok mom..." had no clue what she meant.
This post was edited on 9/19/18 at 6:10 pm
Posted on 9/19/18 at 6:09 pm to reo45
He told me if I stick it in, I take care of what comes out.
Posted on 9/19/18 at 6:18 pm to TOSOV
Your mom likes the cobra to have venom.
Posted on 9/19/18 at 6:19 pm to The Boat
Lol
Posted on 9/19/18 at 6:21 pm to reo45
When I was about 10 I found the stack of Playboys in the back of my Dad's closet.
Posted on 9/19/18 at 6:21 pm to reo45
and this is why you cant get laid
Posted on 9/19/18 at 6:21 pm to reo45
Recap:
This post was edited on 9/19/18 at 6:31 pm
Posted on 9/19/18 at 6:23 pm to reo45
My friend told me, he said a guy sticks his thing in a girl’s thing, then pee’s in it...
Posted on 9/19/18 at 6:34 pm to TOSOV
quote:
My mom would too. Her best was when we were watching TV, and the topic of vasectomy came up. She looked over at me, and said "never let a woman convince you to get a vasectomy. Men always need to be able to reproduce."...."ok mom..." had no clue what she meant.
Posted on 9/19/18 at 6:44 pm to reo45
My mom handed a book from the library and said read this. Ask me if you have any questions.
I had A LOT OF QUESTIONS
I had A LOT OF QUESTIONS
Posted on 9/19/18 at 6:44 pm to reo45
I was 10 or 11.
Driving somewhere:
Dad- "Son, do you know how babies are made?"
Me-"Yeah."
Dad sighs with relief and we continue driving.
Driving somewhere:
Dad- "Son, do you know how babies are made?"
Me-"Yeah."
Dad sighs with relief and we continue driving.
Posted on 9/19/18 at 6:54 pm to reo45
Since my dad did almost nothing to educate me in this area, I made sure I spoke to my sons about this. If you let others educate your kids about sex, they'll end up like most of the guys on this site......... 
Posted on 9/19/18 at 6:58 pm to The Boat
quote:You win the OT for the month of September
My 2 year old son turned to me and in perfect english said I remember when your grandmother and I conceived your father. My grandfather died 10 years ago.
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