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How old were your kids when you gave the "real" birds and bees talk?
Posted on 3/27/23 at 10:59 am
Posted on 3/27/23 at 10:59 am
I'm not talking about the clean version, like "when two people love each other, they get married and have a baby" talk. I'm talking about, "the male penis goes in the women's vagina, and sperm fertilizes the egg" and "you better wrap your jimmy or you'll get STD's and be a high-school drop out teen dad/momma" talk.
14
Posted on 3/27/23 at 11:00 am to lowhound
You don't have to anymore thanks to the internet 
Posted on 3/27/23 at 11:00 am to lowhound
quote:
"the male penis goes in the women's vagina, and sperm fertilizes the egg"
This post was edited on 3/27/23 at 11:01 am
Posted on 3/27/23 at 11:00 am to lowhound
Birds and bees lay eggs
Why do we call it the "birds and the bees" talk and not the "D in the V" talk.
Or at least use mammals as an example.
Why do we call it the "birds and the bees" talk and not the "D in the V" talk.
Or at least use mammals as an example.
Posted on 3/27/23 at 11:02 am to lowhound
I don’t think I really understood the whole sperm thing until I rubbed one out the first time
Posted on 3/27/23 at 11:05 am to lowhound
quote:
"the male penis goes in the women's vagina, and sperm fertilizes the egg"
Woke 2023 version - "the vagina engulfs the penis, and the egg consumes the sperm."
Posted on 3/27/23 at 11:06 am to TheWalrus
quote:Haha same. I thought pee had semen in it when you got older. Then I was like, ohhh that's the stuff that they were talking about.
I don’t think I really understood the whole sperm thing until I rubbed one out the first time
Posted on 3/27/23 at 11:07 am to lowhound
We told our transgender 14 month old about sex and fetishes at around 9 months old because in this house we believe that science is real, trans rights are human rights, no person is illegal, and Black lives matter.
Posted on 3/27/23 at 11:09 am to upgrayedd
I think you meant to say your 14 month old transgender child gave you the talk because you’re a bigoted old man from a ignorant generation and can’t possibly comprehend the spectrum of gender and sexuality
Posted on 3/27/23 at 11:10 am to lowhound
one day when I was nine, my parents told me about sex and that Santa Claus wasn't real. It was a rough day.
Posted on 3/27/23 at 11:12 am to Bayou_Tiger_225
quote:
I think you meant to say your 14 month old transgender child gave you the talk because you’re a bigoted old man from a ignorant generation and can’t possibly comprehend the spectrum of gender and sexuality
While I recognize my white privilege, I know that they/them is born inherently racist and colonialist, so it's my, my wife's and her boyfriend's job to de-program they/them from the time they become humans 3 weeks after being born.
Posted on 3/27/23 at 11:14 am to upgrayedd
quote:you straight POS
so it's my, my wife's
Posted on 3/27/23 at 11:15 am to lowhound
I never got it from my parents and we didn’t give it to our two kids. Simple reason. I did and they learned it all from their friends.
Posted on 3/27/23 at 11:18 am to Pedro
quote:
you straight POS
I atone for my original sins in the proper way.
Posted on 3/27/23 at 11:20 am to TheWalrus
quote:
I don’t think I really understood the whole sperm thing until I rubbed one out the first time
Thought the bitch broke my dick because I was still young, doing dumb shite….Ice Cube
Posted on 3/27/23 at 11:20 am to lowhound
My parents never did thank God but they had to sign a permission slip for sex ed class when I was in 6th grade.
Posted on 3/27/23 at 11:30 am to lowhound
My wife sort of had to explain it to our daughter when she was 9. That's when she had her first period and that kinda runs parallel to the sex talk so we sat her down and I was basically just in the background for that one.
I'll be out front with my son when he is old enough.
I'll be out front with my son when he is old enough.
Posted on 3/27/23 at 11:39 am to lowhound
Around 17 is the appropriate time to tell your boys if she doesn't really enjoy giving blowjobs, don't marry her.
Posted on 3/27/23 at 11:41 am to lowhound
My dad took me aside before I left for college and told me to wear a condom. Because if a girl would have sex with me, she would have sex with anyone. Ouch. Only sex talk I ever got. Kids get it in school now. We just had to fill in some blanks.
This post was edited on 3/27/23 at 11:42 am
Posted on 3/27/23 at 11:42 am to IAmNERD
quote:
I'll be out front with my son when he is old enough.
So what's the proper age you think that would be? I got the March Madness special last week, and my son was asking a lot of questions about what was going on with me, and why did I have surgery. So I basically had to break it down for him. He's in 5th grade. He already had some misinformed ideas from schoolground talks with friends, but I had to set him straight. I'm not having the talk with my daughter, that's mom's job.
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