re: How much to spend on engagement ring?

2k tops

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If it matters, she is using you as an ATM machine and is not actually attracted to you. Divorce will be inevitable.

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Although true in many cases, this is a way oversimplified generalization. There are several reasons a girl wants a nice ring (most of them shallow) but that does not indicate she doesn't love who the man is and that divorce is inevitable.

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There are several reasons a girl wants a nice ring (most of them shallow) but that does not indicate she doesn't love who the man is and that divorce is inevitable

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bullshite. Unless I'm wiping my arse with 100s my SO is going to get a 3-5k ring in the next year or so. If she was to turn her nose up at it because she wants to "keep up with the joneses" then her views clearly don't align with mine.

I would rather have an extra 5k to put towards a down payment on a house than to put that into a ring so my SO can have a proverbial dick measuring contest with all of her friends.

But my SO couldn't give a shite less about her ring. She's too preoccupied with talking about houses and all my babies she's going to have

Ask her to give you links to rings she likes. You won't necessarily buy one but it will give you a concrete idea.

If you really don't want to spend money on a stone, take a trip to Diamond National Park in Arkansas for a weekend and dig one up yourself. You'll have to pay to get it cut and cleaned, but it would save you a ton and be extra meaningful.

First of all, it's all about finding a ring that screams "her". The ring I gave my SO was a vintage replica. The diamond isn't huge or surrounded by 50 little stones, but the metal work is gorgeous filigree, the diamond has great sparkle, and she absolutely loves it. It's vintage and classy and doesn't look like everyone else's ring. There's a few places in town that sell really different looking stuff: Jules Madere, Barker's, Classic Jewlers, and Saunders Lux. There's also several places that can custom design a band that looks like anything you want. Don't focus on price so much when shopping for the band as finding what speaks to her style.

When it comes to stones, cz's look good now, but they become dull and cloudy overtime. Most women don't know the difference, but the perceptive ones can tell after a while. If you're on a budget, there's no shame in getting a nice band with a cz in it now with the expectation that you'll upgrade the stone to a real diamond at some future milestone anniversary. If she doesn't ask, don't tell her. Remember, you can get the stone and the band from seperate places. You just need to make sure you know what size range and shape you need to fill in the band. A good jewler can make any stone in that range look great.

Well, no shiite. If it was, diamonds would be dirt cheap and everyone would do it.

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If shes expected to make 80-100K+(ie pharmacist, big time attorney,etc)and you're taking in 120K, then a 20K ring might be more appropriate.

It's like a Dr. would look silly being seen driving a honda civic.

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Whem my fiancée and I went ring shopping, she was looking at and suggesting rings well below $1000. She has a DMD and a Ph.D. I chose one around $3,000 and she loves it. Feel bad for suckers like you.

Oh, Warren Buffet drives a 2014 XTS so what would make a Dr. look silly driving a Civic?

$0

What does that even mean? How many things in a marriage cost $30-50K (wedding) and 3-10K (ring)?

The most expensive parts are kids. By default, that requires a partner. Second (maybe first) to kids in cost would be divorce. You could count a house but that's an expense regardless.

ETA: I don't agree with your "it's for her" statement. I think the idea that the man is just along for the ride and he doesn't matter is some BS archaic thinking. That's not the kind of relationship I am having with my SO in any aspect of life - we are equal partners and will both be treated as such.