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re: How much time is appropriate to wait to start dating again after a spouse dies?

Posted on 3/26/26 at 7:43 pm to
Posted by morganwadefan
TN
Member since May 2023
1643 posts
Posted on 3/26/26 at 7:43 pm to
Nobody’s business but theirs. Everyone Is different.
Posted by BluegrassBelle
RIP Hefty Lefty - 1981-2019
Member since Nov 2010
108007 posts
Posted on 3/26/26 at 7:44 pm to
quote:

Haven’t you all said that she can do whatever whenever? As long as he’s dead she’s not cheating, right?


Why are you avoiding my questions? Was he sick or was it sudden? Are their children adults?

What’s your skin the game here to be so concerned about your wife’s relative?
Posted by Uga Alum
Member since Jul 2022
6529 posts
Posted on 3/26/26 at 7:45 pm to
Why have you commented like a dozen times in this thread? Does this hit close to home for you?
Posted by Jake88
Member since Apr 2005
79973 posts
Posted on 3/26/26 at 7:48 pm to
quote:

I would wait a year to hit the punani if my wife died. It’s only 12 months.
The way you phrased this seems more disrespectful than the woman who waited 6 months to date. Seems you are projecting your rather superficial attitudes about dating and hooking up willy nilly on to her. You know you would whorishly bang away once you probation is up, so she must be thinking the same way. What if hers is a legit search for something more real?
This post was edited on 3/26/26 at 7:49 pm
Posted by BluegrassBelle
RIP Hefty Lefty - 1981-2019
Member since Nov 2010
108007 posts
Posted on 3/26/26 at 7:49 pm to
quote:

Why have you commented like a dozen times in this thread? Does this hit close to home for you?


Why does it have to hit close to home for me to call you out on your idiocy?

I’m going to take you avoiding my questions as the admission that her spouse was likely sick and she likely began grieving him before he physically died.

Which makes you an even bigger twat than I thought.
Posted by LemmyLives
Texas
Member since Mar 2019
16093 posts
Posted on 3/26/26 at 7:49 pm to
quote:

Does this hit close to home for you?

Why don't you just answer the question? Just to piss you off, I'm going to be here all night, pointing out how much you need therapy to deal with problems that are not yours.
Posted by Uga Alum
Member since Jul 2022
6529 posts
Posted on 3/26/26 at 7:49 pm to
Because I said punani?
Posted by AUIH1
Logan Martin Lake, Talladega, AL
Member since Oct 2012
310 posts
Posted on 3/26/26 at 7:50 pm to
Pics?
Posted by Louisianalabguy
Member since Jul 2017
1933 posts
Posted on 3/26/26 at 7:53 pm to
quote:

Couldn’t disagree more. It’s disrespectful to the deceased to immediately get back out there.

I also believe it's quite dangerous for a widowed spouse personally. There's a lot of things to work through and until you've done that, you're vulnerable to making bad decisions.
Posted by Uga Alum
Member since Jul 2022
6529 posts
Posted on 3/26/26 at 7:54 pm to
I’m an idiot now? You sound a lot more angry than I do.
Posted by junkfunky
Member since Jan 2011
36324 posts
Posted on 3/26/26 at 7:54 pm to
I thought my mom remarried too soon after my dad died but I was a teenager. Now, I imagine it would get pretty lonely after spending a good chunk of your life with another person. Do whatever makes you happy.
Posted by lsucoonass
shreveport and east texas
Member since Nov 2003
70008 posts
Posted on 3/26/26 at 7:55 pm to
Everyone grieves differently,
Posted by OweO
Plaquemine, La
Member since Sep 2009
122162 posts
Posted on 3/26/26 at 7:56 pm to
My mom started dating about 3 months after my dad passed away. My dad had been sick and he started to get really sick about 3 years before he passed away, but even before that it was a rollercoaster ride.

It was weird for me, I still lived at home. I was in college and was doing my own thing, but she was outgoing and loved to dance so I knew she wasn't just going to stay home and be depressed. Him and I clashed mainly because after a few weeks he told my mom I didn't make him feel welcomed because I didn't give him a proper greeting when he came over. She mentioned to me to greet him when he came over because he didn't feel welcomed and I told her "He can solve that by not coming over" and that started a war.

I never not greeted him on purpose. If I was home when he came over, I was doing my own thing and I was just off in my own world, but it all depends on the person and its really not anyone else's business.
Posted by BluegrassBelle
RIP Hefty Lefty - 1981-2019
Member since Nov 2010
108007 posts
Posted on 3/26/26 at 7:57 pm to
quote:

I’m an idiot now? You sound a lot more angry than I do.


Well. Yeah. I’d go even further to say you’re incredibly immature.

If you were legitimately concerned that she might be taken advantage of as a widow that’s one thing. But it’s clear here you’re not, you thought you’d get a win here by calling her a whore (not realizing there’s a fair amount of posters here that aren’t far from her age or situation), and my guess is you’re too self-centered to see beyond yourself to understand why most folks here are telling you to just leave the poor woman be.
Posted by Jake88
Member since Apr 2005
79973 posts
Posted on 3/26/26 at 7:57 pm to
quote:

Because I said punani?
To a degree. And "hit" it. It suggests a shallow, puerile attitude towards dating. That's fine for you, but you don't know if that's her attitude.
Posted by Uga Alum
Member since Jul 2022
6529 posts
Posted on 3/26/26 at 7:58 pm to
The guy insisted that you greet him? That’s pretty feminine. I wouldn’t have cared.
Posted by DevilDagNS
Member since Dec 2017
2975 posts
Posted on 3/26/26 at 8:00 pm to
So if your spouse dies, you deserve to be alone.
Posted by Uga Alum
Member since Jul 2022
6529 posts
Posted on 3/26/26 at 8:02 pm to
I thought that I’d get a “win?” Where is the scoreboard? What would I win exactly? You keep with the ad hominem attacks and I haven’t called you any names.

Why do you care so much if I refer to this woman that you don’t even know as a whore? Is there a personal experience there that brings you pain? Are you a huge feminist and I have triggered you?
Posted by Hondo Blacksheep
Member since Jul 2022
3140 posts
Posted on 3/26/26 at 8:04 pm to
Respectfully, if Bluegrass Belle is female, you owe her an apology. Simply offering a differing opinion from yours does not make someone a whore.

More broadly, who are you, the morals police? Chill out.
Posted by BluegrassBelle
RIP Hefty Lefty - 1981-2019
Member since Nov 2010
108007 posts
Posted on 3/26/26 at 8:05 pm to
quote:

Why do you care so much if I refer to this woman that you don’t even know as a whore? Is there a personal experience there that brings you pain? Are you a huge feminist and I have triggered you?


Why do you care if she’s dating as a single woman? We can go both ways with this. She’s not your Mom. You’re not even her blood kin. Why does it matter to you? Why does that make her a whore?

I don’t have to be a feminist to call out someone being a selfish a-hole over a woman who took care of her sick husband of 30 years and moving on at a pace that she feels is appropriate.
This post was edited on 3/26/26 at 8:07 pm
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