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re: How many of us are products of a divorced family?
Posted on 3/30/24 at 9:35 am to Will Cover
Posted on 3/30/24 at 9:35 am to Will Cover
Dad knocked up my mother while his wife was 6 months pregnant with my brother. He was a POS
0
Posted on 3/30/24 at 9:38 am to Will Cover
I am, my wife is not
My kids are not either
My kids are not either
Posted on 3/30/24 at 9:39 am to Will Cover
My mom left my dad when I was 7.
A long drawn out, contentious custody battle and divorce followed. Even after the divorce each parent was always bad mouthing the other to the 3 of us. My wife and I have been together 21yrs. I hit the lottery with her and her family. Most genuine people on the planet. I made a promise to her and myself that if anything ever failed between us, I wouldn’t use my kids as a tool to hurt her like my parents did.
A long drawn out, contentious custody battle and divorce followed. Even after the divorce each parent was always bad mouthing the other to the 3 of us. My wife and I have been together 21yrs. I hit the lottery with her and her family. Most genuine people on the planet. I made a promise to her and myself that if anything ever failed between us, I wouldn’t use my kids as a tool to hurt her like my parents did.
Posted on 3/30/24 at 9:44 am to Aubie Spr96
My parents have been married 61 years, my ex’s mom has been married 3 times, her dad 3 times, maternal grandmother 3 times.
She grew up where the answer to life’s problems was divorce.
She grew up where the answer to life’s problems was divorce.
Posted on 3/30/24 at 9:47 am to Will Cover
My parents divorced after 25 years of marriage
My husband’s parents are still together
We’ve been married almost 22 years
So - we shall see, right?
My husband’s parents are still together
We’ve been married almost 22 years
So - we shall see, right?
Posted on 3/30/24 at 9:49 am to magicman534
My mom used to bad mouth my dad some, but not really anymore. She left him, and I think she's always resented that he became fairly successful/moderately wealthy in the last 20 years of his career.
Dad was always a saver, and mom wasn't. It was one of the many problems in the marriage. He was the type of man that could be making 200k and would still be driving a 12 yr old Camry.
Dad was always a saver, and mom wasn't. It was one of the many problems in the marriage. He was the type of man that could be making 200k and would still be driving a 12 yr old Camry.
Posted on 3/30/24 at 9:53 am to Will Cover
Been married 40 years. Both sets of parents stayed married - 58 years and 65+. All siblings still married. (37, 36, 30 years,) All children still married (9.5, 1.5 years).
Don't know if it's just good luck, good habits or good decision making when choosing a spouse.
Don't know if it's just good luck, good habits or good decision making when choosing a spouse.
Posted on 3/30/24 at 9:58 am to Will Cover
quote:
Is there any correlation that those who were raised in a broken home end potentially end up with a broken home themselves?
I think baby boomers were ready to get out of the house as soon as possible. They saw marriage as that way out. As a result, many got married to young and ended up divorced (marrying before they had spent time to find someone compatible, married when financial constraints were too much for a your married couple, marrying people without common long term goals, marrying people that do not place the same amount of emphasis on things like education and religion). The next generation did not rush to get out of the home and got married later in life. In turn, many are staying married. The current generation are waiting much later to get married, even moving back into their parents’ home after college. We will see the trend of declining divorces continue with them.
The divorce rates continue to decrease. There may be a correlation to having divorced parents, but anecdotally. I have never seen this to be the case. Many that grew up in a divorced household do not want the same for their children. It doesn’t mean people that get divorced are doing anything wrong to their children, necessarily as parents staying in a miserable marriage is no picnic for the children either and doesn’t set the best example of how positive marriage can be.
ETA: To answer the original question, I come from a home with a combined five divorces between the parents.
This post was edited on 3/30/24 at 10:01 am
Posted on 3/30/24 at 10:22 am to Will Cover
My parents got divorced when I was 11, but only because my dad never met a piece of cat he wouldn’t try to make purr.
To counteract this genetic predisposition, I’ve abstained from marriage.
To counteract this genetic predisposition, I’ve abstained from marriage.
Posted on 3/30/24 at 10:23 am to fallguy_1978
quote:
My mom used to bad mouth my dad some, but not really anymore. She left him, and I think she's always resented that he became fairly successful/moderately wealthy in the last 20 years of his career. Dad was always a saver, and mom wasn't. It was one of the many problems in the marriage. He was the type of man that could be making 200k and would still be driving a 12 yr old Camry.
I’m convinced that financial difficulties/differences leads to divorce more than infidelity.
Posted on 3/30/24 at 10:26 am to Will Cover
Here. Given how tough it was on my sister and I when we were little , I never will divorce my wife. That being said, we did a lot of pre-marriage counseling and meetings . We didn’t “hop into it”. We both know that marriage is a “heavy cross”.
“ For I hate divorce,” says the LORD, the God of Israel, “and him who covers his garment with violence,” says the LORD of armies. “So be careful about your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously
Malachi 2:16
“ For I hate divorce,” says the LORD, the God of Israel, “and him who covers his garment with violence,” says the LORD of armies. “So be careful about your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously
Malachi 2:16
Posted on 3/30/24 at 10:26 am to Will Cover
quote:
How many of us are products of a divorced family?
Raises hand
quote:
How many of us who have been married are also divorcees as well?
Negative. Will be married 20 years in October. Got married at 23. Will be 43 in June.
This post was edited on 3/30/24 at 10:35 am
Posted on 3/30/24 at 10:36 am to Honest Tune
quote:
I’m convinced that financial difficulties/differences leads to divorce more than infidelity.
No doubt. I'd say it took me and my wife a good 7-8 years to figure out how to coexist financially. It's really an afterthought now after 20 years though. It just takes work. Marriage isn't always easy.
Posted on 3/30/24 at 10:43 am to fallguy_1978
Yea man, I’ve studied some of my relatives (older aunts and uncles) with rock solid marriages, and they are pushing 50-60 years together. Outside looking in, everything is copacetic.
When I’ve asked questions about strategies for success, not a single one of them said “it’s so easy, we never had any issues.”
It’s men and women.. we weren’t made to coexist on a lot of levels, which is why it’s incredibly hard work to balance that out.
When I’ve asked questions about strategies for success, not a single one of them said “it’s so easy, we never had any issues.”
It’s men and women.. we weren’t made to coexist on a lot of levels, which is why it’s incredibly hard work to balance that out.
Posted on 3/30/24 at 10:43 am to Will Cover
Parents still married. Both sets of grandparents never divorced. Never been divorced, neither have my siblings. All married 8+ years.
Posted on 3/30/24 at 10:54 am to Will Cover
My parents married 55 years. My spouse's parents also married 50+ years.
I absolutely thought about his family and home life before committing to marriage because I wanted someone who was raised with the same values as I. I was never attracted to the 'bad boy' archetype. The strategy seems to be working well, we have been together 33 years. It has NOT been easy. And we've had to level up as humans many times since. But I will say in those hard times, just knowing how important stability is to the family provided enough incentive to make us change course. If either of us saw divorce as an OUT, We wouldn't have made it past year 1.
I absolutely thought about his family and home life before committing to marriage because I wanted someone who was raised with the same values as I. I was never attracted to the 'bad boy' archetype. The strategy seems to be working well, we have been together 33 years. It has NOT been easy. And we've had to level up as humans many times since. But I will say in those hard times, just knowing how important stability is to the family provided enough incentive to make us change course. If either of us saw divorce as an OUT, We wouldn't have made it past year 1.
Posted on 3/30/24 at 10:58 am to Will Cover
quote:
How many of us who have been married are also divorcees as well?
Present
quote:
Costly fact. The average 1st marriage lasts 8 years.
Going on 18 years, marriage takes work and a lot of it.
Posted on 3/30/24 at 10:58 am to bad93ex
quote:
Going on 18 years, marriage takes work and a lot of it.
Yep.
Posted on 3/30/24 at 11:04 am to Honest Tune
quote:
It’s men and women.. we weren’t made to coexist on a lot of levels, which is why it’s incredibly hard work to balance that out
I'm a lot like my dad. I'm not frugal to an extreme amount, but I believe in living below our means. We work together now, but my wife is like most other women. She likes to spend
Posted on 3/30/24 at 11:06 am to fallguy_1978
quote:
my wife is like most other women. She likes to spend
My wife is exactly the opposite. She's frugal and likes to count every penny.
frick off serial downvoter and your alt.
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