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re: How many of us are products of a divorced family?

Posted on 3/30/24 at 9:35 am to
Posted by Cregg
Orange Beach
Member since Jul 2017
2018 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 9:35 am to
Dad knocked up my mother while his wife was 6 months pregnant with my brother. He was a POS
Posted by Gulf Coast Tiger
Ms Gulf Coast
Member since Jan 2004
18664 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 9:38 am to
I am, my wife is not

My kids are not either
Posted by magicman534
The dirty dell
Member since May 2011
1578 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 9:39 am to
My mom left my dad when I was 7.
A long drawn out, contentious custody battle and divorce followed. Even after the divorce each parent was always bad mouthing the other to the 3 of us. My wife and I have been together 21yrs. I hit the lottery with her and her family. Most genuine people on the planet. I made a promise to her and myself that if anything ever failed between us, I wouldn’t use my kids as a tool to hurt her like my parents did.
Posted by BradBallard
Wilmington, Delaware
Member since Jun 2020
355 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 9:44 am to
My parents have been married 61 years, my ex’s mom has been married 3 times, her dad 3 times, maternal grandmother 3 times.

She grew up where the answer to life’s problems was divorce.
Posted by GreenRockTiger
vortex to the whirlpool of despair
Member since Jun 2020
41881 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 9:47 am to
My parents divorced after 25 years of marriage

My husband’s parents are still together

We’ve been married almost 22 years

So - we shall see, right?
Posted by fallguy_1978
Best States #50
Member since Feb 2018
48642 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 9:49 am to
My mom used to bad mouth my dad some, but not really anymore. She left him, and I think she's always resented that he became fairly successful/moderately wealthy in the last 20 years of his career.

Dad was always a saver, and mom wasn't. It was one of the many problems in the marriage. He was the type of man that could be making 200k and would still be driving a 12 yr old Camry.
Posted by LSUBFA83
Member since May 2012
3354 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 9:53 am to
Been married 40 years. Both sets of parents stayed married - 58 years and 65+. All siblings still married. (37, 36, 30 years,) All children still married (9.5, 1.5 years).

Don't know if it's just good luck, good habits or good decision making when choosing a spouse.
Posted by go ta hell ole miss
Member since Jan 2007
13642 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 9:58 am to
quote:

Is there any correlation that those who were raised in a broken home end potentially end up with a broken home themselves?


I think baby boomers were ready to get out of the house as soon as possible. They saw marriage as that way out. As a result, many got married to young and ended up divorced (marrying before they had spent time to find someone compatible, married when financial constraints were too much for a your married couple, marrying people without common long term goals, marrying people that do not place the same amount of emphasis on things like education and religion). The next generation did not rush to get out of the home and got married later in life. In turn, many are staying married. The current generation are waiting much later to get married, even moving back into their parents’ home after college. We will see the trend of declining divorces continue with them.

The divorce rates continue to decrease. There may be a correlation to having divorced parents, but anecdotally. I have never seen this to be the case. Many that grew up in a divorced household do not want the same for their children. It doesn’t mean people that get divorced are doing anything wrong to their children, necessarily as parents staying in a miserable marriage is no picnic for the children either and doesn’t set the best example of how positive marriage can be.

ETA: To answer the original question, I come from a home with a combined five divorces between the parents.
This post was edited on 3/30/24 at 10:01 am
Posted by Honest Tune
Louisiana
Member since Dec 2011
15693 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 10:22 am to
My parents got divorced when I was 11, but only because my dad never met a piece of cat he wouldn’t try to make purr.

To counteract this genetic predisposition, I’ve abstained from marriage.
Posted by Honest Tune
Louisiana
Member since Dec 2011
15693 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 10:23 am to
quote:

My mom used to bad mouth my dad some, but not really anymore. She left him, and I think she's always resented that he became fairly successful/moderately wealthy in the last 20 years of his career. Dad was always a saver, and mom wasn't. It was one of the many problems in the marriage. He was the type of man that could be making 200k and would still be driving a 12 yr old Camry.


I’m convinced that financial difficulties/differences leads to divorce more than infidelity.
Posted by evil cockroach
27.98N // 86.92E
Member since Nov 2007
7480 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 10:26 am to
Here. Given how tough it was on my sister and I when we were little , I never will divorce my wife. That being said, we did a lot of pre-marriage counseling and meetings . We didn’t “hop into it”. We both know that marriage is a “heavy cross”.

“ For I hate divorce,” says the LORD, the God of Israel, “and him who covers his garment with violence,” says the LORD of armies. “So be careful about your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously
Malachi 2:16

Posted by SteelerBravesDawg
Member since Sep 2020
34792 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 10:26 am to
quote:

How many of us are products of a divorced family?

Raises hand

quote:

How many of us who have been married are also divorcees as well?


Negative. Will be married 20 years in October. Got married at 23. Will be 43 in June.
This post was edited on 3/30/24 at 10:35 am
Posted by fallguy_1978
Best States #50
Member since Feb 2018
48642 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 10:36 am to
quote:

I’m convinced that financial difficulties/differences leads to divorce more than infidelity.

No doubt. I'd say it took me and my wife a good 7-8 years to figure out how to coexist financially. It's really an afterthought now after 20 years though. It just takes work. Marriage isn't always easy.
Posted by Honest Tune
Louisiana
Member since Dec 2011
15693 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 10:43 am to
Yea man, I’ve studied some of my relatives (older aunts and uncles) with rock solid marriages, and they are pushing 50-60 years together. Outside looking in, everything is copacetic.

When I’ve asked questions about strategies for success, not a single one of them said “it’s so easy, we never had any issues.”

It’s men and women.. we weren’t made to coexist on a lot of levels, which is why it’s incredibly hard work to balance that out.
Posted by LSUSkip
Central, LA
Member since Jul 2012
17577 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 10:43 am to
Parents still married. Both sets of grandparents never divorced. Never been divorced, neither have my siblings. All married 8+ years.
Posted by TigerBaitOohHaHa
Member since Jan 2023
490 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 10:54 am to
My parents married 55 years. My spouse's parents also married 50+ years.

I absolutely thought about his family and home life before committing to marriage because I wanted someone who was raised with the same values as I. I was never attracted to the 'bad boy' archetype. The strategy seems to be working well, we have been together 33 years. It has NOT been easy. And we've had to level up as humans many times since. But I will say in those hard times, just knowing how important stability is to the family provided enough incentive to make us change course. If either of us saw divorce as an OUT, We wouldn't have made it past year 1.
Posted by bad93ex
Member since Sep 2018
27274 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 10:58 am to
quote:

How many of us who have been married are also divorcees as well?


Present

quote:

Costly fact. The average 1st marriage lasts 8 years.



Going on 18 years, marriage takes work and a lot of it.
Posted by SteelerBravesDawg
Member since Sep 2020
34792 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 10:58 am to
quote:

Going on 18 years, marriage takes work and a lot of it.

Yep.
Posted by fallguy_1978
Best States #50
Member since Feb 2018
48642 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 11:04 am to
quote:

It’s men and women.. we weren’t made to coexist on a lot of levels, which is why it’s incredibly hard work to balance that out

I'm a lot like my dad. I'm not frugal to an extreme amount, but I believe in living below our means. We work together now, but my wife is like most other women. She likes to spend
Posted by SteelerBravesDawg
Member since Sep 2020
34792 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 11:06 am to
quote:

my wife is like most other women. She likes to spend

My wife is exactly the opposite. She's frugal and likes to count every penny.

frick off serial downvoter and your alt.
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