re: How Does the OT Deal With Depression?

Honestly, I’ve been struggling with depression for what feels like forever, but really is closer to about 2 years. It started with my marriage collapsing and struggling in law school. Then, after law school, it was struggling with having to move back in with my parents and studying for the bar. Then, it was the long job and housing hunt. Now, I’ve finally got a job and a great place to live. I have a pretty decent group of friends who I see at least once per week. I could stand to drink a little less often and exercise more, but I’m not terribly unhealthy. However, I just can’t shake this feeling of pressure, constant, unending pressure. I really do feel this weight bearing down on me all of the time. All i want to do is eat and sleep, but ignoring what few responsibilities I have outside of work (setting up my house, clothes, dishes, etc) just makes things worse. I feel no motivation to do anything. I feel like I am wasting my life while at the same time feel an overwhelming sense of dread about doing anything other than that. I feel extremely lonely, yet I no longer feel any desire to go out in public by myself. I have a phobia around medicines and drugs beyond Tylenol, tums, pepto, zyrtec, dayquil, and weed so I will never consent to any anti-depressants. I experience wide swings in mood from dqy to day. Some days I feel great and hyper and manic, joking, just the life of the party. The next day, I can barely get myself out of bed and hardly stop myself from crying. Things that used to be among my greatest joys in life (performing live original music) now just leaves me miserable. I think it’s time to see a professional about help, but I have no idea where to go or where to start.

I feel like my emotions are justified, like the pain is in response to legitimate grievances. I feel like I have reason to feel this way, and that I may know what some of those reasons are, but at the same time, I have no idea how to fix it. The few things I feel could help, I clearly lack the will to do myself (exercise seriously). I have never been this level of lazy, self-loathing, risk-averse, anti-social, and unmotivated in my life. I can’t seem to focus on anything, barely even my job, which I need to make rent and pay for replacing my car which is barely limping along. I know there are no quick fixes, but I feel like i have been running on fumes for 2 years, and things just keep feeling worse. I keep feeling more empty, more dejected, and more like I’m just disappearing. I just want to believe that there is a simple-ish solution that can deliver at least some noticeable short-term results.

If anyone has any recommendations for professionals in the BR area, please let me know.

But seriously hope ya feel better, it could always be worse.

That's why I will never try meds

I had to dramatically shake up my life and stop living for someone else's expectations. It worked.

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And how does the OT feel about medication for depression?

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Exhaust all other avenues first but if nothing else is working give it a try. Life is too short to be miserable when there are potential solutions out there.

Good luck and God bless brother, it can be a dark place but there is light at the end of the tunnel and it leads to a more beautiful appreciation of the good times.

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Bottom line is to keep things simple

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The answers are almost always introspective.

Simplify, minimize and find a passion.

It took a good bit of courage to come on an open forum and talk about some pain and possible solutions.

Thanks...and I'm not throwing a pity party. I'm genuinely interested in learning from others.

Stop thinking negative thoughts. Just stop!

Throw your book of negativity in a dumpster somewhere.

You need to focus on gratitude. Find at least 3 things everyday that you are grateful for. Be grateful!

No, just makes me feel guilty, ungrateful, useless, and even more self-loathing, so definitely a step in the wrong direction.