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re: How do you handle a "Free Time Imbalance? in a relationship?
Posted on 4/30/19 at 10:56 am to tgrbaitn08
Posted on 4/30/19 at 10:56 am to tgrbaitn08
quote:
Short version of.....they want us to read their minds
pretty much
Women are like law school classes. They throw this massive volume of information at you every day, far more than any person could reasonably commit to memory. In this information is everything you need to make your decisions about what she wants prioritized, what she needs from you, and what she wants to eat. It's all subtle, but it's typically all there. The task is to somehow pick the pertinent information out of that massive sea of claptrap she spouts just to vent out her emotions to find the select few nuggets of important information you need.
This post was edited on 4/30/19 at 10:59 am
2
Posted on 4/30/19 at 10:58 am to kingbob
It goes a long way if you just attempt to do this, even if you fail.
It’s like going to France, they are 10 times nicer if you just attempt to speak French, even if its bad.
It’s like going to France, they are 10 times nicer if you just attempt to speak French, even if its bad.
This post was edited on 4/30/19 at 10:59 am
Posted on 4/30/19 at 10:59 am to SlowFlowPro
A lot of problems these days could be solved if people would stop trying to make life fair. It isnt, get over it and move on.
Posted on 4/30/19 at 11:01 am to SlowFlowPro
quote:
closed a big deal and had a clear calendar
In a healthy relationship the other person celebrates their partner's win and is genuinely happy for them. It should be about their accomplishment. Making it about you being stuck at work is extremely selfish.
I had a buddy whose wife would constantly call him when we went fishing because she knew that he was having fun without her. She was basically sitting at home stewing until she would come up with another fake reason to call and steal his joy. I guess that made her feel better for a short while... until the next call.
Observing relationships like this is what caused me to wait until later in life to get married, when it was the right next step for me, not because we had been dating for a certain length of time. 7yrs in and so far, so good.
Posted on 4/30/19 at 11:02 am to TH03
quote:
I've played golf a few times in the middle of the afternoon after I was done for the day and got this. I said "yes it was nice, thank you."
so I got a last minute call from a friend around 3 o'clock this past Sunday afternoon saying he had someone back out on a charter trip for yesterday morning and asked if I could make it down that night and fish Monday morning. She was in the next room and I knew she could hear me...so I told my friend...."Oh man, that sounds good, but I havent been to my office in a while and have a lot of catching up to day...let me check with my wife to see if she needs me for anything and I'll call you right back..." of course I said it loud enough for her to hear it
I hung up and walked into the room and she looked at me before I could even say anything and said "I dont need you for anything tonight or tomorrow, go ahead and go where ever you're going to go"
My wife
Posted on 4/30/19 at 11:03 am to Draconian Sanctions
quote:
It goes a long way if you just attempt to do this, even if you fail.
This. One of my problems in past relationships is that after failing a bunch of times, I would stop even trying, which of course, makes things 1000 times worse. It was like I was cataloging every fight and disagreement we ever had in a mental library and then trying to use those past arguments to inform future behavior, but there were so many conflicting precedents that I'd get paralysis by analysis and become unable to make a decision, believing that no matter which one I picked, it would be wrong.
Eventually I figured out that I just needed to make a damn decision, but it took a long time to figure that out, and my relationship suffered as a result.
This post was edited on 4/30/19 at 11:04 am
Posted on 4/30/19 at 11:04 am to tgrbaitn08
another way to ask is while shaking your head say, "you don't need me to help with anything do you?"
Posted on 4/30/19 at 11:05 am to tgrbaitn08
dude. having to ask permission to do something sounds fricking miserable and beyond pathetic.
Posted on 4/30/19 at 11:06 am to Mr Perfect
It's not asking permission. It's treating your wife and your marriage as more than just friends or roommates.
Posted on 4/30/19 at 11:07 am to Pilot Tiger
quote:
another way to ask is while shaking your head say, "you don't need me to help with anything do you?"
Thats usually my plan of action...I usually say "Hey do we have anything this weekend (or tomorrow), do you need me for anything?...if not then I going to so and so...i'll be back...whenever"
Posted on 4/30/19 at 11:07 am to Mr Perfect
quote:if you're married with kids, it's pretty inconsiderate for either partner to just bail for a day or two and leave the other with the kids/house/job....
having to ask permission to do something
Posted on 4/30/19 at 11:08 am to kingbob
quote:
Those that constantly snoop and suspect their man of cheating do so because THEY either cheated or have thought seriously about cheating.
The same applies to men also. My ex-husband was super nosy and possessive. Whenever I was out of town working he would constantly check on me. It was very annoying.
And yes, he was cheating the whole time.
Posted on 4/30/19 at 11:09 am to Mr Perfect
quote:
dude. having to ask permission to do something sounds fricking miserable and beyond pathetic.
Where did I ask for permission? I didnt ask her if I could go..I asked if she needed me for anything...since I'm married to her and we have kids..those 3 things trump a last minute fishing trip
This post was edited on 4/30/19 at 11:11 am
Posted on 4/30/19 at 11:10 am to Pilot Tiger
Yeah it's more about not abandoning your responsibilities as a husband and/or father.
Posted on 4/30/19 at 11:12 am to SlowFlowPro
My biggest problem with women is they think the stupid exercise class on Wednesday nights that makes no difference in their body after a year in a half that they pay 20 bucks a pop for can’t be skipped to do something worthwhile
Posted on 4/30/19 at 11:12 am to Diver Diva
Insecure people do insecure shite. Guys will also do this if they're not cheating, but they have such low self esteem that they already don't see themselves as deserving their SO, and thus believe that their SO would be better off with someone else. This will drive them to act out and be possessive, trying to keep their "prize" away from more "worthy" suitors. Definitely a toxic sort of behavior that both sexes exhibit. I just see the whole projection narrative with women extends FAR beyond jealousy and pettiness and actually informs far more of their behaviors than it does in men. Men tend to compartmentalize to a far greater degree, which cuts down on the extent by which insecurity or guilt on one aspect of their life can bleed and drive behaviors in all other sectors.
Posted on 4/30/19 at 11:14 am to Diver Diva
quote:
My ex-husband was super nosy and possessive. Whenever I was out of town working he would constantly check on me. It was very annoying.
And yes, he was cheating the whole time.
Because he knew since he was cheating, you could be too. It's pretty standard behavior of cheaters.
Posted on 4/30/19 at 11:14 am to Mr Perfect
quote:
dude. having to ask permission to do something sounds fricking miserable and beyond pathetic.
clean your room, bucko
Posted on 4/30/19 at 11:17 am to SlowFlowPro
You can't let an employee do whatever they want just because they are your friend. If a business owner lands a big deal and wants to go celebrate after then they should go celebrate. The employee should be happy that her place of employment secured a deal that will assure that she continues to have a job.
If the employee doesn't think that is good for their friendship she can go find another job.
If the employee doesn't think that is good for their friendship she can go find another job.
Posted on 4/30/19 at 11:18 am to Pilot Tiger
quote:
if you're married with kids, it's pretty inconsiderate for either partner to just bail for a day or two and leave the other with the kids/house/job....
Not yet married, but live together and have pets, but no kids. And it's still really inconsiderate to not clear something ahead of time to make sure things at home are taken care of.
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