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re: Have Any of You Married a Cluster B Personality Disorder (Narcissistic, Borderline,etc)?
Posted on 6/24/24 at 12:22 pm to Lsupimp
Posted on 6/24/24 at 12:22 pm to Lsupimp
quote:
I'm deeply sorry, man. Everyone, man or woman who deals with this shite, goes through the same thing. It's uncanny. Again, why men victims commit suicide and women victims sit in dark rooms eating twinkies. The capacity we have to hurt each other is virtually unlimited.
humans
0
Posted on 6/24/24 at 12:22 pm to madamsquirrel
thray !!
Posted on 6/24/24 at 12:23 pm to madamsquirrel
A (smoking hot highly intelligent whole package type who shall remain nameless lol) woman on the OT reached out to me about her husband. As I listened to her sympathetically over several months, I got the sense that she couldn't quite get over her surprise that it's just the same universal experience. But of course, that's a helpful thing, to discover that you aren't going crazy, and that other people are dealing with the exact same behavior. Because really, none of it is rational and after dealing with the crazy word salad circular arguments for years you think your grasp of reality is slipping. And your friends in normal relationships can't wrap their heads around it so you don't have anybody to talk to. And then, boom-you understand it's the exact same experience. And then you can begin to regain your foothold.
Posted on 6/24/24 at 12:25 pm to Lsupimp
quote:
A (smoking hot highly intelligent whole package type who shall remain nameless lol) woman on the OT
bull
shite
Posted on 6/24/24 at 12:27 pm to OWLFAN86
Exactly - I’ve never reached out to him
Posted on 6/24/24 at 12:30 pm to GreenRockTiger
Like hell you haven't. 
I'll never tell.
I'll never tell.
Posted on 6/24/24 at 12:32 pm to GreenRockTiger
quote:its a habit
Exactly - I’ve never reached out to him
Posted on 6/24/24 at 12:35 pm to Shexter
quote:
Bipolar 2 marriage participant checking in. 19 years of being married to that before we divorced.
Congrats. I almost made it 3 years in a relationship with one. Thankfully never married.
Also did 4 years with a borderline chick. I think that was worse.
quote:
Both were awesome at first then after they had their claws in the real person came out.
Holy shite, this. To a T.
This post was edited on 6/24/24 at 12:43 pm
Posted on 6/24/24 at 12:36 pm to Hussss
I was always curious dealing with women like this. What if on a "good day" you said something like "hey, I love you, you're safe with me but I think you have BPD...and here's why." Would they just flip their shite and get stabby? I'm just so fascinated by people that just can't control themselves.
Posted on 6/24/24 at 12:38 pm to OWLFAN86
quote:it is
its a habit
Posted on 6/24/24 at 12:43 pm to GreenRockTiger
no lunch thray
Im starving
Im starving
Posted on 6/24/24 at 12:45 pm to dgnx6
quote:
Hopefully, it doesnt become a bigger issue down the road. I told her i would try to be more aware and understanding. But in the back of my mind im thinking, should i run?
If you keep having this thought, the answer is probably yes.
Posted on 6/24/24 at 12:45 pm to bamaguy17
BPD-They would likely fall back on the victimhood language, project it back onto you and then go silent.
I've heard that some will use it as a crutch to their advantage "You know I'm BPD how could you say that" but I have no experience with that. With the BPD if you are in a constant cycle of idealization, devaluing and then discard-that would be a great time for them to discard you, when you know their secret. Because obviously they would devalue you immediately.
If they are Narcissistic prepare for reputation destruction and full-on frontal assault and every part of your life being undermined. Better not to let a malignant narcissist know that you are on to them. Just slowly back away.
I've heard that some will use it as a crutch to their advantage "You know I'm BPD how could you say that" but I have no experience with that. With the BPD if you are in a constant cycle of idealization, devaluing and then discard-that would be a great time for them to discard you, when you know their secret. Because obviously they would devalue you immediately.
If they are Narcissistic prepare for reputation destruction and full-on frontal assault and every part of your life being undermined. Better not to let a malignant narcissist know that you are on to them. Just slowly back away.
Posted on 6/24/24 at 12:45 pm to OWLFAN86
Okie dokie
It’s started - you can eat
It’s started - you can eat
This post was edited on 6/24/24 at 12:50 pm
Posted on 6/24/24 at 1:14 pm to dgnx6
quote:
I did too so i brushed it off and it did become... it was like you didnt even care, you werent even listening to me or taking me seriously when i told you that.
Hopefully, it doesnt become a bigger issue down the road. I told her i would try to be more aware and understanding. But in the back of my mind im thinking, should i run?
Next time you get a hardon and its not serviced make the same case to her about caring and taking things seriously.
Posted on 6/24/24 at 1:20 pm to HogPharmer
quote:
2. Raging insane daily screaming verbal abuse
I dont see how this ever happens.
If you are getting screamed at by your woman for anything other than a kid being seriously injured she doesnt respect you. Something you did, or something in your mannerisms are not respectful. She isnt fearful and knows she will get away with it so she yells at a grown arse man like a 7 year old.
It really is sad to think about and worse to see on TV when dudes are this cucked they allow a woman to berate them in front of people.
Posted on 6/24/24 at 1:49 pm to Lsupimp
quote:
3. Reputation destruction. Total utter destruction. Family friends and neighbors. Scorched earth.
4. The creation of flying monkeys to do dirty work. Lasting for years.
5. Annihilation within the family unit-weaponizing children.
3 and 5 just sound soul-obliterating. Glad he's still around.
Posted on 6/24/24 at 1:58 pm to jizzle6609
quote:
Something you did, or something in your mannerisms are not respectful.
Personality disorders aren’t provoked, they are inhabited by the person with the disorder. Here’s what you aren’t understanding- those with psychiatric disorders don’t aim their CRAZY at the cause of the problem ( they are the cause of the problem), they just view that unfortunate person as the person they can unleash their narcissistic supply upon. Putting that person on blast is how they get emotional RELIEF or satisfaction, it perversely energizes them..For instance this is COMMONLY the BPD or narcissistic parent ripping into her children. The children didn’t “ do something “ to cause the psychiatric disorder, they are just the unfortunate person the Narcissist or BPD person chooses to abuse.
You can’t explain serious psychiatric disorders through the lens of the manosphere and have any real understanding of what you are looking at. Especially since narcissism has traditionally been considered more male while BPD more female. Although I think it’s probably more 50-50% Anyhow…
We agree a man ( or woman) should not tolerate this. But we also know they do because of children, not wanting to lose half their stuff and a million other reasons they use to rationalize the unacceptable. Humans are wired to endure what they shouldn’t. I’d even say that Tradcons and clergy glorify men putting up with endless shite to preserve families.
Posted on 6/24/24 at 2:01 pm to jizzle6609
quote:
I dont see how this ever happens. If you are getting screamed at by your woman for anything other than a kid being seriously injured she doesnt respect you. Something you did, or something in your mannerisms are not respectful. She isnt fearful and knows she will get away with it so she yells at a grown arse man like a 7 year old. It really is sad to think about and worse to see on TV when dudes are this cucked they allow a woman to berate them in front of people.
You can be the most masculine guy in the world who holds frame in his sleep and a BPD/Narc woman will still act nuts. Got nothing to do with being cucked chicks like this are mentally ill and guys need to talk about them so they can be spotted and avoided
Posted on 6/24/24 at 2:05 pm to Lsupimp
quote:
I’d even say that Tradcons and clergy glorify men putting up with endless shite to preserve families.
some of us do it to ourselves even knowing what we're in the middle of.
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