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re: Has anyone here ever had an affair?

Posted on 10/2/14 at 10:33 am to
Posted by SabiDojo
Open to any suggestions.
Member since Nov 2010
83927 posts
Posted on 10/2/14 at 10:33 am to
I just want to say that I congratulate your buddy on finding the time to have one.
Posted by LSU0812
Baton Rouge
Member since Feb 2013
728 posts
Posted on 10/2/14 at 10:35 am to
Nah. Cheating isn't part of a good marriage.

One example, root case being communication - husband/wife gets fat after marriage. Skinny SO is no longer attacted to him/her, so sex life suffers. Skinny party thinks fat party doesn't care. Truth is, fat party is going through a life change - adjusting to marriage, working full time, ect. If they don't talk about it, skinny party may cheat based on thinking fat party doesn't care. If they talk, they could figure out a constructive way to support one another and spend time together - maybe take daily walks together or something. They grow closer and solve the at problem.

You have to take time to get things in the open and speak honestly. If you can't be honest with your SO, you aren't being your best.
Posted by Croacka
Denham Springs
Member since Dec 2008
61441 posts
Posted on 10/2/14 at 10:35 am to
quote:

You can forgive, but it would it ever be the same?


i'm not sure


but what I do know, is that I know several couples that have experiences affairs, and many of them are still together

they're obviously working on shite, but they didnt just throw it away immediately

marriage has ups and downs
Posted by barry
Location, Location, Location
Member since Aug 2006
50337 posts
Posted on 10/2/14 at 10:36 am to
quote:

I'm not just talking about the one night stand on a business trip in Minneapolis


Thats oddly specific
Posted by Negative Nomad
Hell
Member since Oct 2011
3173 posts
Posted on 10/2/14 at 10:38 am to
(no message)
This post was edited on 1/14/16 at 2:33 pm
Posted by AUCE05
Member since Dec 2009
42557 posts
Posted on 10/2/14 at 10:38 am to
Hell no. I can barely keep my wife happy. I couldn't imagine having another women in the mix. I told my wife if she every left me of died, she wouldn't have to worry about me having another relationship with another women. I don't think I am very good at it.
Posted by TheIndulger
Member since Sep 2011
19239 posts
Posted on 10/2/14 at 10:45 am to
quote:

Hell no. I can barely keep my wife happy


This is part of the problem. People get tired of their wives nagging, trying to control them, and her general negativity. Then they meet a younger, more attractive girl who is funny, bubbly and enjoyable to be around and feel a refreshing sense of being alive.

Not saying it's right, but when the person you married becomes a different person, it's understandable.
Posted by Spaceman Spiff
Savannah
Member since Sep 2012
17463 posts
Posted on 10/2/14 at 10:46 am to
Nope. Years ago I knew a couple of married ladies who had long-running affairs. Worked with one and other was involved with my friend for about a couple of years. The one I worked with had a on/off affair that lasted several years and she is still married as far as I know. The other one that was involved with my friend had a nasty divorce and married a guy less than year after the divorce - interesting thing is that this guy is LOADED...
Posted by CocoLoco
Member since Jan 2012
29108 posts
Posted on 10/2/14 at 10:46 am to
quote:

but what I do know, is that I know several couples that have experiences affairs, and many of them are still together

they're obviously working on shite, but they didnt just throw it away immediately

marriage has ups and downs




And kudos to them. I've never been in this situation. I'm not sure if a GF has ever cheated on me to be honest. What I do know is that it would be incredibly difficult for me to get past it. It would make me look at the woman differently. Having children, being married...who wouldn't want to salvage it? It would just be a steep hill to climb, and many people won't be able to get past the dumb decision of the other person, understandably so.
Posted by lsu480
Downtown Scottsdale
Member since Oct 2007
92876 posts
Posted on 10/2/14 at 10:50 am to
quote:

What causes married people to actively engage in a whole new relationship?


Affair sex is about the hottest sex you can have, which is why people do it.
Posted by Croacka
Denham Springs
Member since Dec 2008
61441 posts
Posted on 10/2/14 at 10:51 am to
quote:

And kudos to them. I've never been in this situation. I'm not sure if a GF has ever cheated on me to be honest. What I do know is that it would be incredibly difficult for me to get past it. It would make me look at the woman differently. Having children, being married...who wouldn't want to salvage it? It would just be a steep hill to climb, and many people won't be able to get past the dumb decision of the other person, understandably so.


your opinion is more level-headed that what i've typically seen here though

people tend to think marriage is temporary now-a-days

if you give up at the first sign of trouble, you aren't doing it right

JMO
Posted by LSURussian
Member since Feb 2005
126962 posts
Posted on 10/2/14 at 10:51 am to
quote:

he's still knee deep in her.
He's doing it wrong.....
Posted by Come2Conquer
Baton Rouge
Member since Sep 2004
4794 posts
Posted on 10/2/14 at 10:52 am to
If I ever re-marry, I'll probably go ahead and have an affair just to beat her to the punch.
Posted by lsu480
Downtown Scottsdale
Member since Oct 2007
92876 posts
Posted on 10/2/14 at 10:53 am to
I like your style!
Posted by Come2Conquer
Baton Rouge
Member since Sep 2004
4794 posts
Posted on 10/2/14 at 10:55 am to
quote:

I like your style!


Fool me once...
Posted by Goldrush25
San Diego, CA
Member since Oct 2012
33794 posts
Posted on 10/2/14 at 10:57 am to
I've been with someone who's having an affair, so I've been the "other guy." I didn't know for sure at the time but I had a strong suspicion and didn't dig deeper because I didn't want to know for sure, and didn't care at the time.

Feels good while you're doing it, you don't really think of any consequences until afterwards. I won't do it again. You're just being used as an object and that's not a good feeling. You're not the one she really loves, and if she's doing it to him she would do it to you.
This post was edited on 10/2/14 at 11:00 am
Posted by AUCE05
Member since Dec 2009
42557 posts
Posted on 10/2/14 at 11:33 am to
Agree. You make some soild points.
Posted by Big Moe
Chicago
Member since Feb 2013
3989 posts
Posted on 10/2/14 at 11:36 am to
quote:

I'm not just talking about the one night stand on a business trip in Minneapolis


That's an oddly specific example
Posted by 777Tiger
Member since Mar 2011
73856 posts
Posted on 10/2/14 at 11:37 am to
if you're already married, why double the misery?
Posted by The Third Leg
Idiot Out Wandering Around
Member since May 2014
10037 posts
Posted on 10/2/14 at 11:38 am to
quote:

RedRifle

Have you ever responded to a post in a thread that you started before today?
This post was edited on 10/2/14 at 11:39 am
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