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Message
1
Posted on 10/2/14 at 10:35 am to RedRifle
Nah. Cheating isn't part of a good marriage.
One example, root case being communication - husband/wife gets fat after marriage. Skinny SO is no longer attacted to him/her, so sex life suffers. Skinny party thinks fat party doesn't care. Truth is, fat party is going through a life change - adjusting to marriage, working full time, ect. If they don't talk about it, skinny party may cheat based on thinking fat party doesn't care. If they talk, they could figure out a constructive way to support one another and spend time together - maybe take daily walks together or something. They grow closer and solve the at problem.
You have to take time to get things in the open and speak honestly. If you can't be honest with your SO, you aren't being your best.
One example, root case being communication - husband/wife gets fat after marriage. Skinny SO is no longer attacted to him/her, so sex life suffers. Skinny party thinks fat party doesn't care. Truth is, fat party is going through a life change - adjusting to marriage, working full time, ect. If they don't talk about it, skinny party may cheat based on thinking fat party doesn't care. If they talk, they could figure out a constructive way to support one another and spend time together - maybe take daily walks together or something. They grow closer and solve the at problem.
You have to take time to get things in the open and speak honestly. If you can't be honest with your SO, you aren't being your best.
Posted on 10/2/14 at 10:35 am to CocoLoco
quote:
You can forgive, but it would it ever be the same?
i'm not sure
but what I do know, is that I know several couples that have experiences affairs, and many of them are still together
they're obviously working on shite, but they didnt just throw it away immediately
marriage has ups and downs
Posted on 10/2/14 at 10:36 am to RedRifle
quote:
I'm not just talking about the one night stand on a business trip in Minneapolis
Thats oddly specific
Posted on 10/2/14 at 10:38 am to RedRifle
(no message)
This post was edited on 1/14/16 at 2:33 pm
Posted on 10/2/14 at 10:38 am to RedRifle
Hell no. I can barely keep my wife happy. I couldn't imagine having another women in the mix. I told my wife if she every left me of died, she wouldn't have to worry about me having another relationship with another women. I don't think I am very good at it.
Posted on 10/2/14 at 10:45 am to AUCE05
quote:
Hell no. I can barely keep my wife happy
This is part of the problem. People get tired of their wives nagging, trying to control them, and her general negativity. Then they meet a younger, more attractive girl who is funny, bubbly and enjoyable to be around and feel a refreshing sense of being alive.
Not saying it's right, but when the person you married becomes a different person, it's understandable.
Posted on 10/2/14 at 10:46 am to RedRifle
Nope. Years ago I knew a couple of married ladies who had long-running affairs. Worked with one and other was involved with my friend for about a couple of years. The one I worked with had a on/off affair that lasted several years and she is still married as far as I know. The other one that was involved with my friend had a nasty divorce and married a guy less than year after the divorce - interesting thing is that this guy is LOADED...
Posted on 10/2/14 at 10:46 am to Croacka
quote:
but what I do know, is that I know several couples that have experiences affairs, and many of them are still together
they're obviously working on shite, but they didnt just throw it away immediately
marriage has ups and downs
And kudos to them. I've never been in this situation. I'm not sure if a GF has ever cheated on me to be honest. What I do know is that it would be incredibly difficult for me to get past it. It would make me look at the woman differently. Having children, being married...who wouldn't want to salvage it? It would just be a steep hill to climb, and many people won't be able to get past the dumb decision of the other person, understandably so.
Posted on 10/2/14 at 10:50 am to RedRifle
quote:
What causes married people to actively engage in a whole new relationship?
Affair sex is about the hottest sex you can have, which is why people do it.
Posted on 10/2/14 at 10:51 am to CocoLoco
quote:
And kudos to them. I've never been in this situation. I'm not sure if a GF has ever cheated on me to be honest. What I do know is that it would be incredibly difficult for me to get past it. It would make me look at the woman differently. Having children, being married...who wouldn't want to salvage it? It would just be a steep hill to climb, and many people won't be able to get past the dumb decision of the other person, understandably so.
your opinion is more level-headed that what i've typically seen here though
people tend to think marriage is temporary now-a-days
if you give up at the first sign of trouble, you aren't doing it right
JMO
Posted on 10/2/14 at 10:51 am to RedRifle
quote:He's doing it wrong.....
he's still knee deep in her.
Posted on 10/2/14 at 10:52 am to lsu480
If I ever re-marry, I'll probably go ahead and have an affair just to beat her to the punch.
Posted on 10/2/14 at 10:53 am to Come2Conquer
I like your style! Posted on 10/2/14 at 10:55 am to lsu480
quote:
I like your style!
Fool me once...
Posted on 10/2/14 at 10:57 am to RedRifle
I've been with someone who's having an affair, so I've been the "other guy." I didn't know for sure at the time but I had a strong suspicion and didn't dig deeper because I didn't want to know for sure, and didn't care at the time.
Feels good while you're doing it, you don't really think of any consequences until afterwards. I won't do it again. You're just being used as an object and that's not a good feeling. You're not the one she really loves, and if she's doing it to him she would do it to you.
Feels good while you're doing it, you don't really think of any consequences until afterwards. I won't do it again. You're just being used as an object and that's not a good feeling. You're not the one she really loves, and if she's doing it to him she would do it to you.
This post was edited on 10/2/14 at 11:00 am
Posted on 10/2/14 at 11:33 am to TheIndulger
Agree. You make some soild points.
Posted on 10/2/14 at 11:36 am to RedRifle
quote:
I'm not just talking about the one night stand on a business trip in Minneapolis
That's an oddly specific example
Posted on 10/2/14 at 11:37 am to RedRifle
if you're already married, why double the misery?
Posted on 10/2/14 at 11:38 am to RedRifle
quote:
RedRifle
Have you ever responded to a post in a thread that you started before today?
This post was edited on 10/2/14 at 11:39 am
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