Grok 3 is crazy.

Warning, could be a slightly long post.

I'm basically retired, but bored out of my mind. I find a job that sounds kind of fun, it's 2 or 3 days a week. Problem is they drug test.

I'm not a big smoker, but I take a toke off the one hitter around 8 each night, watch a movie, and get some sleep. I laid off for 3 weeks thinking that would be enough because I smoke so little.

They email me the piss test paper work on a Friday afternoon, which is perfect because now I can delay until Monday very easily. Buys me a couple extra days. Over the weekend I buy a 12 pack of piss tests at Walmart so I'm not walking in blind.

I practice test on Monday and I'm totally guilty. I look at the real piss test paperwork and realize I can wait 2 more days, so delay.

I asked Grok 3 about the situation. He said look at your paper work and give me any info about the type of test. Tell me truthfully about your smoking habits. Tell me your weight and age. I gave him everything truthfully.

He came back with some insane mathematical formula that says I am right on the cusp of passing. He said you can delay for 2 days, but that will look suspicious, take the test on Tuesday, and do everything I say. You will pass 95-98%

His instructions were no fatty foods, absolutely no breakfast, and he prescribed me a very detailed list of how much water to drink and when to drink it. He also said to practice test every other piss and report back.

I was failing every single one, and he was like do what I say and you'll be good to take the test around 3pm on Tuesday. Monday was about chugging water and watching food, Tuesday, day of test was about drinking a very precise amount of water to dilute my piss, but not enough to send up a red flag.

Tuesday morning first test, still guilty, he's like calm down, you'll be fine by three. He's showing me math I don't understand on why he's right. He's also giving me precise instructions on how much to drink to dilute, but leave yellow in my piss, and he also has me practice testing for info,

At noon finally have a practice test that turns up clean, he says drink 3/4 of a bottle of water and take the real test at 3pm. Don't drink any water after 2:30. He also said make sure you're ready to pee. Piss in the toilet for 2 seconds, then fill the cup above the line, then send the last of your pee into the toilet. The first and the last are dirtiest, mid-stream is the cleanest.

Did exactly what he said and passed. Not sure if I should be happy, or to be freaked out by the future.