- My Forums
- Tiger Rant
- LSU Recruiting
- SEC Rant
- Saints Talk
- Pelicans Talk
- More Sports Board
- Coaching Changes
- Fantasy Sports
- Golf Board
- Soccer Board
- O-T Lounge
- Tech Board
- Home/Garden Board
- Outdoor Board
- Health/Fitness Board
- Movie/TV Board
- Book Board
- Music Board
- Political Talk
- Money Talk
- Fark Board
- Gaming Board
- Travel Board
- Food/Drink Board
- Ticket Exchange
- TD Help Board
Customize My Forums- View All Forums
- Show Left Links
- Topic Sort Options
- Trending Topics
- Recent Topics
- Active Topics
Started By
Message
re: Got any good jokes?
Posted on 2/15/17 at 9:18 am to LSU Tigerhead
Posted on 2/15/17 at 9:18 am to LSU Tigerhead
What do you put on a sick pig?
Oinkment.
That's all I got.
Oinkment.
That's all I got.
1
Posted on 2/15/17 at 9:23 am to deaconjones35
A blind man and a Chihuahua walk into a bar
The bartender says, "Dogs aren't allowed in here".
The blind man says, " It's my seeing eye dog".
The bartender asks, "you have a Chihuahua for a seeing eye dog? "
The man says, "I have a Chihuahua for a seeing eye dog?"
The bartender says, "Dogs aren't allowed in here".
The blind man says, " It's my seeing eye dog".
The bartender asks, "you have a Chihuahua for a seeing eye dog? "
The man says, "I have a Chihuahua for a seeing eye dog?"
Posted on 2/15/17 at 9:46 am to Beer did clam
A man wakes up in a hospital ICU and screams Doctor I can't feel my legs. The doctor says of course not I had to amputate both your hands.
Posted on 2/15/17 at 10:40 am to bengalbait
A lady's husband gets in a bad car accident and he is rushed to the emergency room. After hours of surgeries and trauma care, one of the docs comes out to the waiting room to discuss the medical condition with the wife.
Doc:
mame, we tried several surgeries for your husband but it looks like he has lost the ability to move any part of his body.
Wife:
Oh no he is paralyzed?
Doc:
Sadly, yes mame. You can take him home, but he will be confined to a wheel chair for the rest of his life.
It's going to take a lot of dedication on your part from here on out.
Wife:
Oh no (starts crying)
Doc:
You will have to bathe him, feed him just like an infant. Brush his teeth for him everyday...He has also lost all control of his bowel movements, so you will also have to wipe and clean his butt throughout the day.
Wife:
oh doc, I don't know how to get through this...
Doc:
I'm just joking - he died.
Doc:
mame, we tried several surgeries for your husband but it looks like he has lost the ability to move any part of his body.
Wife:
Oh no he is paralyzed?
Doc:
Sadly, yes mame. You can take him home, but he will be confined to a wheel chair for the rest of his life.
It's going to take a lot of dedication on your part from here on out.
Wife:
Oh no (starts crying)
Doc:
You will have to bathe him, feed him just like an infant. Brush his teeth for him everyday...He has also lost all control of his bowel movements, so you will also have to wipe and clean his butt throughout the day.
Wife:
oh doc, I don't know how to get through this...
Doc:
I'm just joking - he died.
Posted on 2/15/17 at 11:08 am to LSU Tigerhead
What does a gay horse eat?
Haaaayyyyy
Haaaayyyyy
Posted on 2/15/17 at 11:11 am to LSU Tigerhead
A man found a magic lamp, rubbed it, and a female genie appeared.
"Oh, boy!" The man said. "I get three wishes!"
"Yes," replied the genie. "But I am a feminist genie, so anything you wish for, your ex wife gets double."
"I'm fine with that. I wish for a hundred million dollars."
"Granted, " said the genie, "but your ex now has 200 million."
The man frowned. "Okay. I wish for a 50 room mansion with a pool and tennis court."
"Granted, but now your ex has a 100 room mansion with two pools and two tennis courts."
The man gritted his teeth, then a slow smile appeared on his face. "I wish you'd beat me half to death."
"Oh, boy!" The man said. "I get three wishes!"
"Yes," replied the genie. "But I am a feminist genie, so anything you wish for, your ex wife gets double."
"I'm fine with that. I wish for a hundred million dollars."
"Granted, " said the genie, "but your ex now has 200 million."
The man frowned. "Okay. I wish for a 50 room mansion with a pool and tennis court."
"Granted, but now your ex has a 100 room mansion with two pools and two tennis courts."
The man gritted his teeth, then a slow smile appeared on his face. "I wish you'd beat me half to death."
Posted on 2/15/17 at 11:35 am to TigerJeff
Posted on 2/15/17 at 11:54 am to Master of Sinanju
A woman came home at the end of the day and told her husband "Pack your bags for a vacation! I won the lottery!"
He said "Great! Where are we going?"
She replied "I don't care where the frick you go, just pack."
He said "Great! Where are we going?"
She replied "I don't care where the frick you go, just pack."
Posted on 2/15/17 at 12:05 pm to LSU Tigerhead
A Brit, an Irishman and a Scot walk into a bar and each order a beer. As soon as they are served a fly lands in each glass.
The Brit holds the glass up to the bartender and says "I'll require another"
The Irishman grabs the fly and throws it away.
The Scotsman grabs the fly, squeezes it and exclaims "Spit it out you Wee bastard"
The Brit holds the glass up to the bartender and says "I'll require another"
The Irishman grabs the fly and throws it away.
The Scotsman grabs the fly, squeezes it and exclaims "Spit it out you Wee bastard"
Posted on 2/15/17 at 12:18 pm to warlock1974
I knew a mathematician who absolutely hated negative numbers. He hated them so much that he'd stop at nothing to avoid them.
I trust mathematicians who do calculus, algebra and even statistics. But never if he does geometry, those guys are always plotting something.
I trust mathematicians who do calculus, algebra and even statistics. But never if he does geometry, those guys are always plotting something.
Posted on 2/15/17 at 12:39 pm to foshizzle
How are K-Mart and Michael Jackson alike?
They both have little boys pants half off
They both have little boys pants half off
Posted on 2/15/17 at 12:46 pm to kook
Where did Michael Jackson go to college?
BYU (Brigham Young)
BYU (Brigham Young)
Posted on 2/15/17 at 12:54 pm to LSU Tigerhead
How do you get a nun pregnant?
frick her.
frick her.
Posted on 2/15/17 at 1:25 pm to dnm3305
A black woman is making homemade biscuits one day when her young son runs in and slaps some flour on his face.
He then looks at his mother and says" look momma I'm a little white boy!!"
The mother slaps the shite out of him and tells him to go show his father.
The little boy runs into the living room and yells at his father "daddy daddy look I'm a little white boy!!"
The man them slaps the boy across the head and tells him to go show what he had done to his grandmother.
So the little black boy runs into his grandmother's bedroom and screams " grandma grandma look I'm a little white boy now!!"
The grandmother pulls the boy's pants down and beats his arse then tells him to go to the kitchen and wash that off his face.
The little black boy heads back to the kitchen to clean his face and his mother asks "did you go show your father what you have done?"
The little boys tells her yes and that he had shown his grandma too.
The mother then asks if he learned anything from the little stunt he pulled and the boy replied
"Yes I sure did. I've only been a white boy 10 minutes and I already hate you damn blacks!"
He then looks at his mother and says" look momma I'm a little white boy!!"
The mother slaps the shite out of him and tells him to go show his father.
The little boy runs into the living room and yells at his father "daddy daddy look I'm a little white boy!!"
The man them slaps the boy across the head and tells him to go show what he had done to his grandmother.
So the little black boy runs into his grandmother's bedroom and screams " grandma grandma look I'm a little white boy now!!"
The grandmother pulls the boy's pants down and beats his arse then tells him to go to the kitchen and wash that off his face.
The little black boy heads back to the kitchen to clean his face and his mother asks "did you go show your father what you have done?"
The little boys tells her yes and that he had shown his grandma too.
The mother then asks if he learned anything from the little stunt he pulled and the boy replied
"Yes I sure did. I've only been a white boy 10 minutes and I already hate you damn blacks!"
Posted on 2/15/17 at 1:36 pm to LSU Tigerhead
What's the difference between black pussy and a bowling ball??
If you had to you could eat a bowling ball
If you had to you could eat a bowling ball
Posted on 2/15/17 at 1:36 pm to dnm3305
A young brave, who had questions about his name, went to see the Chieftain.
"Father," he asked, "how is it that I acquired my name?"
The chieftain looked thoughtful, and says,
"Well, my son, I name all the children born into the tribe based on an event I witness on the day of each birth. For example, on the day your father was born, I saw a deer running through the forest, so I named him 'Running Buck'. Likewise, when my youngest daughter was born in the middle of a terrible storm, I named her 'Pouring Rain'."
"But tell me, Two Dogs fricking, why do you ask?"
"Father," he asked, "how is it that I acquired my name?"
The chieftain looked thoughtful, and says,
"Well, my son, I name all the children born into the tribe based on an event I witness on the day of each birth. For example, on the day your father was born, I saw a deer running through the forest, so I named him 'Running Buck'. Likewise, when my youngest daughter was born in the middle of a terrible storm, I named her 'Pouring Rain'."
"But tell me, Two Dogs fricking, why do you ask?"
Posted on 2/15/17 at 1:45 pm to 19
I've considering pursuing a job as a crowd estimator.
I wonder how many people are in that field
I wonder how many people are in that field
Posted on 2/15/17 at 2:00 pm to Master of Sinanju
quote:
But I am a feminist genie
Posted on 2/15/17 at 2:02 pm to Big_Slim
quote:
What's the difference between black pussy and a bowling ball??
If you had to you could eat a bowling ball
This post was edited on 2/15/17 at 2:02 pm
Posted on 2/15/17 at 2:21 pm to Carson123987
Why did they bury the indian chief on the side of a hill?
Because he was dead.
Because he was dead.
Page 4 of 5
Popular
Back to top
Follow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News