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Today in History: July 31
0904
Arabs capture Thessalonica.

1703
English novelist Daniel Defoe is made to stand in the pillory as punishment for offending the government and church with his satire The Shortest Way With Dissenters.

1760
Ferdinand, Duke of Brunswick, drives the French army back to the Rhine River.

1790
The U.S. Patent Office opens.

1875
Former president Andrew Johnson dies at the age of 66.

1882
Belle and Sam Starr are charged with horse stealing in the Indian territory.

1891
Great Britain declares territories in Southern Africa up to the Congo to be within its sphere of influence.

1904
The Trans-Siberian railroad connecting the Ural mountains with Russia's Pacific coast, is completed.

1917
The third Battle of Ypres commences as the British attack the German lines.

1932
Adolf Hitler's Nationalist Socialist German Workers' Party (Nazis) doubles its strength in legislative elections.

1944
The Soviet army takes Kovno, the capital of Lithuania.

1962
Federation of Malaysia formally proposed.

1971
Apollo 15 astronauts take a drive on the moon in their land rover.

1987
An F4 tornado in Edmonton, Alberta kills 27 and causes $330 million in damages; the day is remembered as "Black Friday."

1988
Bridge collapse at Sultan Abdul Halim ferry terminal in Butterworth, Malaysia, kills 32 and injures more than 1,600.

1990
Bosnia-Herzegovina declares independence from Yugoslavia.

1991
The US and the USSR sign a long-range nuclear weapons reduction pact.

1999
NASA purposely crashes its Discovery Program's Lunar Prospector into the moon, ending the agency's mission to detect frozen water on Earth's moon.

2006
Fidel Castro temporarily hands over power to his brother Raul Castro.

2007
The British Army's longest continual operation, Operation Banner (1969-2007), ends as British troops withdraw from Northern Ireland.

Today in History: Born on July 31
1803
John Ericsson, naval engineer and inventor, developed the screw propeller.

1816
George Henry Thomas, Union general during the American Civil War.

1837
William Clarke Quantrill, Confederate raider during the American Civil War.

1867
S.S. Kresge, American businessman.

1901
Jean Dubuffet, French sculptor and painter.


1912
Milton Friedman, Nobel Prize-winning economist.

1919
Primo Levi, Italian writer and scientist (Survival in Auschwitz).

1921
Whitney Young, Jr., civil rights leader and executive director of the National Urban League.

1928
Horace Silver, jazz pianist, composer and bandleader.

1951
Evonne Goolagong, Australian tennis player.


1965
J.K. Rowling, author (Harry Potter series)

JOTD
Little Johnny is in school one day when his teacher tells the class that she wants to hear each of them say a little about their families, and specifically what is needed in their lives.

The first student is a little girl, she stands up and says "my family is mostly happy but what we really need is a bit more money. My dad leaves for work before I am even awake and he works hard until late at night to put food on the table. Money is needed in my family, more time with my dad is needed."

The teacher is moved, she thanks the student and moves on to the next, a little boy stands up and says "all we are missing in my family is my older brother. He wen't off to fight in the war a year ago and nobody has heard from him since. My mom always waits for him by the window. My brother is desperately needed back in our family."

The teacher is now tearing up, she thanks the little boy and moves on to the next student, eventually making their way around the classroom with one heartfelt response after another.

Finally they come to the last student, Little Johnny. The teacher has come to expect antics from him but gives him a chance. "Little Johnny, what about you... what is something needed by your family?" Little Johnny stands up briefly and says "nothing, we have everything" and sits back down. The teacher, slightly upset, asks "Now how is that possible? Each of your classmates have shared something, how can you be so sure that your family doesn't need a thing?"

Little Johnny stands back up and says "well I was watching TV with my parents late last night when my sister came home crying. She said DAD! Please don't be mad at me but I am pregnant! My dad disappointingly slapped his knee and said "Damn it! That's all we needed!"