GMT

Today in History: July 22

1298
King Edward I defeats the Scots under William Wallace at Falkirk.

1515
Emperor Maximilian and Vladislav of Bohemia forge an alliance between the Hapsburg and Jagiello dynasties in Vienna.

1652
Prince Conde's rebels narrowly defeat Chief Minister Mazarin's loyalist forces at St. Martin, near Paris.

1789
Thomas Jefferson becomes the first head of the U.S. Department of Foreign Affairs.

1812
A British army under the Duke of Wellington defeats the French at Salamanca, Spain.


1814
Five Indian tribes in Ohio make peace with the United States and declare war on Britain.

1881
The first volume of The War of the Rebellion: A compilation of the Official Records of the Union and Confederate Armies, is published.

1894
The first automobile race takes place between Paris and Rouen, France.

1934
American gangster John Dillinger is shot dead by FBI officers outside a Chicago cinema.

1938
The Third Reich issues special identity cards for Jewish Germans.

1943
Palermo, Sicily surrenders to General George S. Patton's Seventh Army.

1966
B-52 bombers hit the Demilitarized Zone between North and South Vietnam for the first time.

Today in History: Born on July 22
1822
Gregor Johann Mendel, Austrian botanist, genetics pioneer.

1849
Emma Lazarus, American poet.

1881
Margery Williams Bianco, author (The Velveteen Rabbit).

1882
Edward Hopper, painter (Nighthawks).

1887
Gustav Hertz, German physicist.

1888
Selman Abraham Waksman, biochemist.

1893
Karl Menninger, American physician, founder of the Menninger Foundation.

1898
Alexander Calder, sculptor.

1898
Stephen Vincent Benet, poet and short-story writer (John Brown's Body).

1908
Amy Vanderbilt, American journalist, etiquette authority.

1923
Robert Dole, U.S. Senator and presidential candidate.

1932
Megan Terry, playwright (Calm Down Mother, Goona Goona).

1936
Tom Robbins, novelist (Another Roadside Attraction, Even Cowgirls Get the Blues).

1946
Paul Schrader, screenwriter and film director (Taxi Driver).

JOTD
A guy gets pulled over by police, “Step out of the car” says the cop, “I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test.”

“I can’t”, the guy says “I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack.”

“Alright,” says the cop, “then you’re going to have to take a blood test.”

“Can’t do that either,” Jim replies, “I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won’t stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death.”

“Ok,” the cop answers “then I will need a urine sample.”

“Sorry,” says Jim “I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low.”

“Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me.”

“Can’t do that either” responds Jim.

“Why not?” asked the cop.

“Well, because I’m drunk! I could go to jail!"