GMT

Today in History: June 1
0193 The Roman emperor, Marcus Didius, is murdered in his palace.

1533 Anne Boleyn, Henry VIII's new queen, is crowned.

1774 The British government orders the port of Boston closed.

1812 American navy captain James Lawrence, mortally wounded in a naval engagement with the British, exhorts to the crew of his vessel, the Chesapeake, "Don't give up the ship!"

1877 U.S. troops are authorized to pursue bandits into Mexico.

1921 A race riot erupts in Tulsa, Oklahoma, killing 85 people.

1963 Governor George Wallace vows to defy an injunction ordering integration of the University of Alabama.

1978 The U.S. reports finding wiretaps in the American embassy in Moscow.

Born on June 1
1801 Brigham Young, American religious leader.

1814 Philip Kearney, Union general.

1831 John B. Hood, Confederate general.

1926 Marilyn Monroe (born Norma Jean Mortenson, later Norma Jean Baker), film actress and icon.

JOTD
Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber...

He awoke before the Pearly Gates where saint Peter said,"You died in your sleep Ralph."
Ralph was stunned. "I'm dead?No I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!
"St Peter said," I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken."
Ralph was devastated, but begs St Peter to send him to a farm near his home. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground.
A rooster strolled past."So you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?"
"Not bad,"replied Ralph the Hen,but I have this strange feeling inside, like I'm going to explode."
"You're ovulating, explained the rooster.Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before."
"Never,"said Ralph.
"Well just relax and let it happen," says the rooster" It's no big deal."
Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg! Ralph was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg – his Joy was overwhelming.
As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife yell..."RALPH WAKE UP. YOU shite THE BED!"