GMT

Today in History: April 11

1713 The Treaty of Utrecht is signed, ending the War of Spanish Succession. France cedes Maritime provinces to Britain.

1814 Napoleon abdicates and is exiled to Elba.

1898 American President William McKinley asks Congress for declaration of war with Spain.

1951 President Truman fires General Douglas MacArthur as head of United Nations forces in Korea.

1961 Folk singer Bob Dylan performs in New York City for the first time, opening for John Lee Hooker.

1974 The Judiciary committee subpoenas President Richard Nixon to produce tapes for impeachment inquiry.

1981 President Ronald Reagan returns to the White House from hospital after recovery from an assassination attempt.

1991 The United Nations Security Council issues formal ceasefire with Iraq.

1996 Forty-three African nations sign the African Nuclear Weapons Free Zone Treaty.

Born on April 11

1950 Bill Irwin, actor and choreographer.

JOTD
best Sunday school ever

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. "JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!" The Teacher fainted.