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Today in History: October 1

0331 Alexander the Great decisively shatters King Darius III's Persian army at Gaugamela (Arbela), in a tactical masterstroke that leaves him master of the Persian Empire.

1957 ""In God We Trust" appears on US paper currency as an act to distinguish the US from the officially atheist USSR; the motto had appeared on coins at various times since 1864.

1962 The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson debuts; Carson will remain The Tonight Show host until 1992.

1971 Walt Disney World opens near Orlando, Florida, the second of Disney's "Magic Kingdoms."

1974 Five Nixon aides--Kenneth Parkinson, Robert Mardian, Nixon's Chief of Staff H.R. Haldeman, John Ehrlichman, and U.S. Attorney General John Mitchell--go on trial for conspiring to hinder the Watergate investigation.

1975 Legendary boxing match: Muhammad Ali defeats Joe Frazier in the "Thrilla in Manila."

1979 US returns sovereignty of the Panama Canal to Panama.

1982 First compact disc player, released by Sony.

1989 Denmark introduces the world's first "civil union" law granting same-sex couples certain legal rights and responsibilities but stopping short of recognizing same-sex marriages.

2009 The Supreme Court of the United Kingdom takes over judicial functions of the House of Lords.

Born on October 1

1935 Julie Andrews (Julia Elizabeth Wells), actress and singer whose films include Mary Poppins and The Sound of Music.

1963 Mark McGwire, "Big Mac," pro baseball player who broke Roger Maris' single-season home run record; admitted in 2010 to using performance-enhancing drugs throughout his career.

Joke of the Day
A DEA officer stopped at our farm yesterday; he said “I need to inspect your farm for illegal growing drugs.”

I said “Okay, but don’t go in that field over there.”
The DEA officer verbally exploded saying, “Sir, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me!” Reaching into his rear pants pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and shoved it in my face. “See this badge?! This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish…. On any land! No questions asked or answers given! Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?!”
I nodded politely, apologized, and went about my chores. A short time later, I heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by my big old mean bull…. With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that he’d sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified.
I threw down my tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of my lungs, “Your badge, show him your badge!”