GMT

Today in History: May 4

1471 In England, the Yorkists defeat the Lancastrians at the Battle of Tewkesbury.

1626 American Indians sell Manhattan Island for $24 in cloth and buttons.

1776 Rhode Island declares independence from England.

1942 The United States begins food rationing.

1942 The Battle of the Coral Sea commences.

1970 Ohio National Guardsmen open fire on student protesters at Kent State University, killing four and wounding nine others.

1992 US Army and Marine Corps forces arrive in Los Angeles to end rioting following the acquittal of four police officers over the beating of Rodney King

2020 Countries in Europe begin cautious reopening after COVID-19 lockdown, Italy restarts construction and takeaways, Germany reopens schools

2020 India begins lifting some restrictions in regions with fewer COVID-19 cases

2020 World leaders pledge $8 billion to research treatments and a vaccine for COVID-19, with the US and Russia not taking part


Born on May 4

1929 Audrey Hepburn (Edda van Heemstra Hepburn-Ruston), actress, later U.N. special ambassador.

1949 Graham Swift, British novelist (The Sweet Shop Owner, Out of this World).

JOTD
A sailor comes to port, and decides he really needs to get laid. So he walks into town, and sees a sign- "Sisters of Mercy Convent & Brothel". He walks into what appears to be a church. There's a nun sitting by a table near the door. She intuits what it is he's looking for, and says, put $5 in this tin cup and walk through that door. The sailor does so, and enters another room, and there's another nun, with a table and a cup. $10, she says, and go through that door. The sailor goes into a third room, where a third nun with a table and cup asks for $15, and go through that door. The sailor coughs up the dough, and walks through the door. It slams and locks behind him, and he is in an alley behind the church, facing a brick wall with a large sign- "You have just been screwed by the Sisters of Mercy".