re: Give me the best joke you got.

What's long, green, and smells like bacon? Kermit The Frog's fingers!

“The government in this town is excellent and uses your tax dollars efficiently.”

Q: Why does the new Polish Navy have glass bottom boats?

A: So they can see the old Polish Navy.

——-

Q: Did you here why the Polish airliner crashed?

A: It ran out of coal.

The dyslexic agnostic insomniac stayed up all night wondering if there was such a thing as Dog.

What happens when a Jewish man with a hard on runs into a wall?






He breaks his nose.

An Irish man is sitting in a pub one night when 3 Englishmen walk in. The men sit down, and start to talk about how they can anger the Irishman... The first man says, "Watch this..." He gets up, walks over to the Irishman, and says, "Hey man, I hear your St. Patrick was gay." The Irishman just replies, "Oh, is that so now?"

The Englishman, goes back to his seat perplexed, and his friend jumps up and says, "Here, let me try that." So he goes over to the Irishman and says, "Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a gay transvestite!" The Irishman only replies, "Oh, is that so now?" So the Englishman, frustrated goes and sits down with his friends.

The 3rd Englishman jumps up and says, "Well, now, I've got to try that!" So he walks over to the Irishman and says, "Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was an ENGLISHMAN!"

And the Irishman replies, "Aye, that's what your friends were sayin."

A plane is flying over the pacific. Both engines fail. Captain comes on loudspeaker and says "I want to let you all know we only have a few minutes before we crash into the sea, I thought you may like have the last few moments in truth"

A woman stands up and says, "is there a man on this plan that wants to make me feel like a woman one last time?"


A baw stands up and unbuttons his shirt. Hands it to her and says, "here, iron this"

Two guys walk by a dog with his leg over his head, licking his own balls.

One guy says, “man, I wish I could do that.”

Other guy says, “You CAN. I’ll hold him so he doesn’t bite you.”

I told my uncle he was drawing his eyebrows on too high.

He looked at me surprised.

Boudreaux & Thibodeaux were talking one afternoon, and Boudreaux tells Thibodeaux, "You know, I tink I'm ready for a little vacation. But dis year I wants to do sumting different. De las' few years, I took your suggestions about where to go. Three years ago you said I should go to Hawaii, an' I did an' Marie got pregnant. De next year you said to go to de Bahamas. Marie got pregnant again. And last year you told me to go to Tahiti. Sure enough, Marie got pregnant again. Dis year I wants to go someplace cheaper so I can bring her wid me !"