re: Funny shite you’ve seen at work.

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hogtied a smart arse fat girl and stuffed crackers in her mouth. She sued and got paid

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That's really not funny.

I know you didn't do it, but nothing about assaulting someone else is funny.

That’s hilarious

At my previous job, there was a notorious "pantsless pooper." In our floor's bathroom, my coworkers and I would periodically notice a guy taking a dump in the handicap stall with his pants hanging up on the door. He would always be groaning and straining and dropping huge bombs that would echo through the bathroom. We never figured out who it was.

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That's really not funny. I know you didn't do it, but nothing about assaulting someone else is funny.

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it’s been a couple years ago but I met her before, she was at least 250 . She was a white girl that wanted to be black. She was pretty annoying from what I remember and talked a lot of shite

We had a guy who would hang all his artwork on the walls. At the beginning of every week, another guy would tilt all the paintings so that they were just slightly unlevel. The artwork guy would level them every week. This went on for months until he figured out was going on.

Right after high school I worked at the plant my Pops worked at as part of an employee's children summer job deal. Well, one of the baws who we were working with overflowed a mixing tank that was thousands of gallons. It was a flushing run, so it was mostly water and cleaner. Anyway, we spent about six hours mopping and squeegeeing water. Well, all of us but one other summer worker. They convinced him to spend half a shift going all over the plant looking for a "tank stretcher". Each person he'd talk to would send him to another person. He may have gotten the better end of the deal work wise, but he sure looked like a dumbass.

We use to have a quite large gentleman that worked with us. (5’7 at least 380). He always showed up late and worked well past everyone else. One morning I get to the office, make a pot of coffee and go take a piss. In the bathroom there was white powder everywhere, a broom leaned up in the corner that had attempted to clean up, a plunger with a dry wad of toilet paper on the stick end and big white foot prints from the restroom all the way to heavy’s desk. When my other co worker came in we investigated a little more. There was a half empty jug of Corn Starch in big boys desk. He was so large he would wrap the end of the plunger handle with toilet paper, cake it with corn starch then proceed to jam it into his folds that couldn’t be reached. Apparently he dropped the open jug while performing this task after everyone else had left. When he finally showed up that day we asked him about it. He denied it all day and then he quit that evening and never came back. We had the janitor toss out the plunger.

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The artwork guy would level them every week. This went on for months until he figured out was going on.

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I have OCD and everything on my desk is always in the same place. Years ago I worked in an office with some friends who would get the interns cracking up by moving items on my desk while I was at lunch. I had no idea any of this was going on. My desk was up front so I just assumed someone had used my phone, tape, or stapler or whatever while I was out. I would come in and put everything back in order and continue working. They finally just told me because I never even commented or reacted. Just put my stuff back correctly and continued on.

A magnetic "I <3 Penis" bumper sticker we'd throw on field trucks in the yard in the morning

A good way to ensure people were doing their 360 walkarounds for inspections