re: Favorite grandpa story, comedy only

My grandpa is diabetic. And when he likes something, he really likes it. His new fondness? Sugar free popsicles.
He is also very specific. He wanted only the Popsicle brand , sugar free, variety pack, and it had to be the DOUBLE POP.

Well I was visiting him one day and we sit on the couch watching the news and him bitching, both enjoying a popsicle. Well he goes, hey son go get us another. I declined but got him another.

Now my grandma greeted me when I got there but was in the back doing crafts and only passing through randomly. The first trip was when we were eating round one. The second trip was ten minutes later when he was having his second.

She says “damn , how many of those have you had?”

I responded four, counting the double pop as two. I was just poking the bear but before I could say anything, she chided him for eating that many ..”I can’t believe you’ve had four popsicles!”
Before I could say anything again, he threw the biggest tantrum. His words ? “Welllllll gottttdamn! I guess I ain’t eating anymore of these motherfrickers” and slung it against the side table by his chair and was bright red in the face.

I couldn’t help but bust out laughing. The whole sounding like a mom telling a kid not to eat a popsicle, only for a grown man to become a kid and throw a tantrum. I laughed so hard I didn’t even make noise. I was locked up, couldn’t breathe, instantly had a headache. It was like that for ten minutes with me gasping and him just getting redder and redder. Finally I just left , still not able to talk and say bye, and went home. My parents see me walk in and I’m still dying… naturally they want to know.

It took me about fifteen minutes to tell them the story. Only capped off by my dad calling him and asking what kind of popsicles he bought because he was craving one. Instantly hung up on.

I’m crying laughing now typing it out. Man could and still does throw some next level tantrums.

Second best is him spending an hour typing an email to carnival cruises bitching about how bad the breakfast was. Before he finished he ran out of the character count and went to bitching and slamming keys before slamming his laptop shut.

quote:

---

My "Paw" had serious heart problems and had 5 bypasses. On one of his trips to the hospital it was my turn to stay in his room with him for the night. I was about 20 at the time, going to LSU. My grandpaw had a really dry sense of humor. I was watching him finish his breakfast one morning in the hospital bed. He didn't drink his apple juice. His cranky morning shift nurse came by and slapped down a specimen bottle and told him she'd be back in a few minutes for it, kind of matter of fact. Well, he looked at me and winked. Without saying a word he peeled the foil lid off of the apple juice and poured it into the specimen bottle. The nurse came by a few minutes later, held the specimen bottle up to the light and made the comment, "Looks a little cloudy today!" To which my grandfather grabbed it from her and said, "Well let's run it through one more time!". He chugged it down and I swear I though the woman was going to faint right there. That's been almost 40 years ago and I still get a kick out of that story. I miss my "Paw".

---

This is Gold!!! will save that for next hospital visit

My granddaddy was the king of the pull my finger trick.

He’d also occasionally walk through the living room at night while we were watching tv with his pajama pants pulled halfway down his arse and announce there’s. 1/2 moon tonight.

After living through the depression, my wife's grandfather hated, and did not trust, banks. In 1966, he went to a local dealership and ordered a new Chevy truck. For the day, it was as nice as you could get, as it had an automatic transmission and air conditioning. The cost back then was $6,600.

After placing the order at the dealership, he came home, went into his garage, and came out with $6,600 that he'd hidden in various places. FYI, $6,600 is the equivalent of $55,200 (to the nearest $100) today.

We live in a small town and my Pawpaw took my cousin’s truck to the store down the road. My boyfriend had stopped at the store at that time too and parked next to my cousins truck. Pawpaw and boyfriend chat in the store and Pawpaw leaves to go home. A few minutes later, he was back home and sitting on his front porch when my boyfriend pulls in the driveway. Pawpaw says “hey bud, whatcha doin?” Boyfriend replies “oh nothin, just came by to get my truck.”
Pawpaw had came out the store and gotten in the wrong truck and drove home. My boyfriend had to drive my cousin’s truck to get his own. They were different colors, different body styles, different makes. My whole family still cracks up about it all the time.

At 89 years old my grandpa was diagnosed with bladder cancer. He was going through chemo but that didn’t stop him from going bear hunting. Not with a gun but with a bow and bagged one that was 502 pounds. He died 4 months later.