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Engaged but second guessing getting married- advice

Posted on 1/15/17 at 11:09 am
Posted by Tigerfan56
Member since May 2010
10526 posts
Posted on 1/15/17 at 11:09 am
Been engaged for 4 months, set to get married in September. There are times when I'm certain I want to marry her, and others when I think I should call it off. I've always been very indecisive.

The thing is, nothing about our relationship is bad. We have lived together 1.5 years, no issues. We get along perfectly, on the same page in every important aspect of life. She would be a great wife and mother. Things just have gotten stale, no more excitement. Feels like we're already a boring married couple. Sometimes I just want to be free again, to be able to hook up with other women. That's really the only reason I wouldn't want to be married. I don't know if that's a normal feeling to have or if it's an indication that I'm not ready for marriage.

Has anyone every had similar thoughts or experiences and what happened? I'm guessing I'll get 90% sarcastic and funny remarks but hopefully some marriage insight as frankly none of my best friends are married so it's hard to find someone to talk to with relevant insight
Posted by Honky Lips
Member since Dec 2015
2828 posts
Posted on 1/15/17 at 11:10 am to
GET OUT NOW and I'm not even joking.

You won't though. You'll go through with it and in 10 years wonder why you're miserable.
Posted by Pectus
Internet
Member since Apr 2010
67302 posts
Posted on 1/15/17 at 11:11 am to
quote:

We have lived together 1.5 years


quote:

Been engaged for 4 months


Trashy.
Posted by bubbz
Baton Rouge
Member since Mar 2006
23084 posts
Posted on 1/15/17 at 11:11 am to
I think it's ok to feel that way sometimes. If everything lines up for you, great wife/mother, no bad fights or arguments, OT 8 or higher, then you should probably seal the deal.

Then again, maybe you have commitment issues.
This post was edited on 1/15/17 at 11:14 am
Posted by ChandlerB03
Natchez, MS
Member since Nov 2015
1791 posts
Posted on 1/15/17 at 11:12 am to
If you're already second guessing yourself get out now. Save yourself, if not you'll probably be miserable
Posted by Henry Jones Jr
Member since Jun 2011
75814 posts
Posted on 1/15/17 at 11:12 am to
You're going to have a lot of people who have never been married or divorced tell you marriage is a sham and you shouldn't do it. But if you truly love the woman you are with and can't see yourself without her, you won't regret it.

Everyone at some point while they are engaged has cold feet.
Posted by No Colors
Sandbar
Member since Sep 2010
12939 posts
Posted on 1/15/17 at 11:12 am to
You've come to the right place
Posted by genuineLSUtiger
Nashville
Member since Sep 2005
77147 posts
Posted on 1/15/17 at 11:12 am to
quote:

If you're already second guessing yourself get out now.
Posted by lsu xman
Member since Oct 2006
16705 posts
Posted on 1/15/17 at 11:13 am to
If she makes a lot of money, but isn't very attractive, just go have a mistress.

Profit $$$.
Posted by gorillacoco
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2009
5326 posts
Posted on 1/15/17 at 11:13 am to
How old are you? If either of you is under 25, you statistically have a much higher chance of divorce.
Posted by CajunSoldier225
Member since Aug 2011
8990 posts
Posted on 1/15/17 at 11:13 am to
quote:

Things just have gotten stale, no more excitement


Welcome to marriage bro.

quote:

Has anyone every had similar thoughts or experiences and what happened?


It's called cold feet and every dude gets them. If you are still in love her with you'll know it and this will pass. If doesn't, well,
Posted by SuperSaint
Sorting Out OT BS Since '2007'
Member since Sep 2007
148298 posts
Posted on 1/15/17 at 11:14 am to
quote:

GET OUT NOW and I'm not even joking.

You won't though. You'll go through with it and in 10 years wonder why you're miserable.
quote:

Honky Lips


You come across as a teenager, why would he listen to you? I can't imagine you have any real world advice
Posted by CommunityCollegeFTW
Member since Apr 2011
19144 posts
Posted on 1/15/17 at 11:14 am to
You sound young and a little immature. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it sounds like you're not ready for marriage. For her sake and yours you should either end it, or delay until you're grown enough to make this choice.

My .02
Posted by LNCHBOX
70448
Member since Jun 2009
88715 posts
Posted on 1/15/17 at 11:14 am to
quote:

You're going to have a lot of people who have never been married or divorced tell you marriage is a sham and you shouldn't do it. But if you truly love the woman you are with and can't see yourself without her, you won't regret it.

Everyone at some point while they are engaged has cold feet.


All of that.
Posted by Miller Lite Fan
Member since May 2015
321 posts
Posted on 1/15/17 at 11:15 am to
Says the 30 something year old that has had sex once and alone

Posted by SuperSaint
Sorting Out OT BS Since '2007'
Member since Sep 2007
148298 posts
Posted on 1/15/17 at 11:16 am to
quote:

OT 8 or higher
bruhhhhhh


The slap dicks on this site aren't pulling OT 8s, much less marrying them.

Seriously have seen more woofs on OTers arms than something to brag about.
Posted by LordSaintly
Member since Dec 2005
42136 posts
Posted on 1/15/17 at 11:17 am to
quote:

The thing is, nothing about our relationship is bad. We have lived together 1.5 years, no issues. We get along perfectly, on the same page in every important aspect of life.


Sounds like you're ready for marriage.

quote:

Things just have gotten stale, no more excitement. Feels like we're already a boring married couple


A certain amount of this is normal. Try to think of something new outside of your normal routine that you both can participate in.

quote:

Sometimes I just want to be free again, to be able to hook up with other women.


This is never going away. Getting married doesn't mean you're no longer human.
This post was edited on 1/15/17 at 11:24 am
Posted by Kim Jong Ir
Baton Rouge
Member since Jan 2008
54857 posts
Posted on 1/15/17 at 11:18 am to
quote:

You're going to have a lot of people who have never been married or divorced tell you marriage is a sham and you shouldn't do it. But if you truly love the woman you are with and can't see yourself without her, you won't regret it.

Everyone at some point while they are engaged has cold feet.



This is true. Marriage is great as long as you pick the right one. I did and I've been married to her for 30+ years.
Posted by thelawnwranglers
Member since Sep 2007
42018 posts
Posted on 1/15/17 at 11:18 am to
Kids are not a definite being a good broadmare shouldn't be only factor. Is she going nuts wedding mode? If so might be why you want out.

See if you can get out of rut with weekend trip.
Posted by Pectus
Internet
Member since Apr 2010
67302 posts
Posted on 1/15/17 at 11:19 am to
quote:

Says the 30 something year old that has had sex once and alone


:Wilhelm scream:
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