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Started By
Message
Engaged but second guessing getting married- advice
Posted on 1/15/17 at 11:09 am
Posted on 1/15/17 at 11:09 am
Been engaged for 4 months, set to get married in September. There are times when I'm certain I want to marry her, and others when I think I should call it off. I've always been very indecisive.
The thing is, nothing about our relationship is bad. We have lived together 1.5 years, no issues. We get along perfectly, on the same page in every important aspect of life. She would be a great wife and mother. Things just have gotten stale, no more excitement. Feels like we're already a boring married couple. Sometimes I just want to be free again, to be able to hook up with other women. That's really the only reason I wouldn't want to be married. I don't know if that's a normal feeling to have or if it's an indication that I'm not ready for marriage.
Has anyone every had similar thoughts or experiences and what happened? I'm guessing I'll get 90% sarcastic and funny remarks but hopefully some marriage insight as frankly none of my best friends are married so it's hard to find someone to talk to with relevant insight
The thing is, nothing about our relationship is bad. We have lived together 1.5 years, no issues. We get along perfectly, on the same page in every important aspect of life. She would be a great wife and mother. Things just have gotten stale, no more excitement. Feels like we're already a boring married couple. Sometimes I just want to be free again, to be able to hook up with other women. That's really the only reason I wouldn't want to be married. I don't know if that's a normal feeling to have or if it's an indication that I'm not ready for marriage.
Has anyone every had similar thoughts or experiences and what happened? I'm guessing I'll get 90% sarcastic and funny remarks but hopefully some marriage insight as frankly none of my best friends are married so it's hard to find someone to talk to with relevant insight
84
Posted on 1/15/17 at 11:10 am to Tigerfan56
GET OUT NOW and I'm not even joking.
You won't though. You'll go through with it and in 10 years wonder why you're miserable.
You won't though. You'll go through with it and in 10 years wonder why you're miserable.
Posted on 1/15/17 at 11:11 am to Tigerfan56
quote:
We have lived together 1.5 years
quote:
Been engaged for 4 months
Trashy.
Posted on 1/15/17 at 11:11 am to Tigerfan56
I think it's ok to feel that way sometimes. If everything lines up for you, great wife/mother, no bad fights or arguments, OT 8 or higher, then you should probably seal the deal.
Then again, maybe you have commitment issues.
Then again, maybe you have commitment issues.
This post was edited on 1/15/17 at 11:14 am
Posted on 1/15/17 at 11:12 am to Tigerfan56
If you're already second guessing yourself get out now. Save yourself, if not you'll probably be miserable
Posted on 1/15/17 at 11:12 am to Tigerfan56
You're going to have a lot of people who have never been married or divorced tell you marriage is a sham and you shouldn't do it. But if you truly love the woman you are with and can't see yourself without her, you won't regret it.
Everyone at some point while they are engaged has cold feet.
Everyone at some point while they are engaged has cold feet.
Posted on 1/15/17 at 11:12 am to Tigerfan56
You've come to the right place
Posted on 1/15/17 at 11:12 am to ChandlerB03
quote:
If you're already second guessing yourself get out now.
Posted on 1/15/17 at 11:13 am to Tigerfan56
If she makes a lot of money, but isn't very attractive, just go have a mistress.
Profit $$$.
Profit $$$.
Posted on 1/15/17 at 11:13 am to Tigerfan56
How old are you? If either of you is under 25, you statistically have a much higher chance of divorce.
Posted on 1/15/17 at 11:13 am to Tigerfan56
quote:
Things just have gotten stale, no more excitement
Welcome to marriage bro.
quote:
Has anyone every had similar thoughts or experiences and what happened?
It's called cold feet and every dude gets them. If you are still in love her with you'll know it and this will pass. If doesn't, well,
Posted on 1/15/17 at 11:14 am to Honky Lips
quote:
GET OUT NOW and I'm not even joking.
You won't though. You'll go through with it and in 10 years wonder why you're miserable.
quote:
Honky Lips
You come across as a teenager, why would he listen to you? I can't imagine you have any real world advice
Posted on 1/15/17 at 11:14 am to Tigerfan56
You sound young and a little immature. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it sounds like you're not ready for marriage. For her sake and yours you should either end it, or delay until you're grown enough to make this choice.
My .02
My .02
Posted on 1/15/17 at 11:14 am to Henry Jones Jr
quote:
You're going to have a lot of people who have never been married or divorced tell you marriage is a sham and you shouldn't do it. But if you truly love the woman you are with and can't see yourself without her, you won't regret it.
Everyone at some point while they are engaged has cold feet.
All of that.
Posted on 1/15/17 at 11:15 am to Pectus
Says the 30 something year old that has had sex once and alone
Posted on 1/15/17 at 11:16 am to bubbz
quote:bruhhhhhh
OT 8 or higher
The slap dicks on this site aren't pulling OT 8s, much less marrying them.
Seriously have seen more woofs on OTers arms than something to brag about.
Posted on 1/15/17 at 11:17 am to Tigerfan56
quote:
The thing is, nothing about our relationship is bad. We have lived together 1.5 years, no issues. We get along perfectly, on the same page in every important aspect of life.
Sounds like you're ready for marriage.
quote:
Things just have gotten stale, no more excitement. Feels like we're already a boring married couple
A certain amount of this is normal. Try to think of something new outside of your normal routine that you both can participate in.
quote:
Sometimes I just want to be free again, to be able to hook up with other women.
This is never going away. Getting married doesn't mean you're no longer human.
This post was edited on 1/15/17 at 11:24 am
Posted on 1/15/17 at 11:18 am to Henry Jones Jr
quote:
You're going to have a lot of people who have never been married or divorced tell you marriage is a sham and you shouldn't do it. But if you truly love the woman you are with and can't see yourself without her, you won't regret it.
Everyone at some point while they are engaged has cold feet.
This is true. Marriage is great as long as you pick the right one. I did and I've been married to her for 30+ years.
Posted on 1/15/17 at 11:18 am to Tigerfan56
Kids are not a definite being a good broadmare shouldn't be only factor. Is she going nuts wedding mode? If so might be why you want out.
See if you can get out of rut with weekend trip.
See if you can get out of rut with weekend trip.
Posted on 1/15/17 at 11:19 am to Miller Lite Fan
quote:
Says the 30 something year old that has had sex once and alone
:Wilhelm scream:
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