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Started By
Message
Empty nesters
Posted on 3/9/24 at 5:23 am
Posted on 3/9/24 at 5:23 am
How did you adjust? Kids gone and wife (no pics) and I are trying to find things to do. It’s been difficult tbh.
19
Posted on 3/9/24 at 5:32 am to tigerjjs
Finding things to do has been the easy part for us. The hard part has been trying not to worry that they're ok now that I don't see them all the time or know if they made it home. It's been less than a year for us so I assume the anxiety lessons with time.
This post was edited on 3/9/24 at 5:33 am
Posted on 3/9/24 at 5:40 am to tigerjjs
PIIHB
Posted on 3/9/24 at 5:46 am to northshorebamaman
Thanks. Any suggestions on what to do? Wife and I work a lot, have “acquaintances” but very few close friends.
Posted on 3/9/24 at 5:56 am to tigerjjs
It's been great. It's just like when we were first married. Walking around naked and fricking whenever.
Posted on 3/9/24 at 6:02 am to northshorebamaman
Been less than a year for us as well, but we’ve enjoyed it so far. I still work, but we have more freedom to enjoy little adventures together without having to worry about leaving anyone out. Our boys are both in college, so we do visits every now and then. The quiet is the hardest thing to get used to. I still struggle with that.
Posted on 3/9/24 at 6:04 am to tigerjjs
My wife might be the busiest person on the planet. She stays involved with her business and all kinds of stuff. I run a lot and fish a lot. We had our kids early and missed all that post college frick off time that all our friends had. We are playing catch-up and it’s great.
Posted on 3/9/24 at 6:27 am to tigerjjs
Start dating your wife.
We date every Thursday evening and have been doing it for 7 years. It gives me something to look forward to and we have the most fun. Normally we go early and have a cocktail and then split an appetizer and split an entree.
It’s really been the best of times and we are committed to it every week.
The kids come home on their own schedules. I pray a whole lot for them and have realized worry is bad for me. I just have to trust and believe that the kids will make good choices and they know that have a place to come back to at anytime.
We date every Thursday evening and have been doing it for 7 years. It gives me something to look forward to and we have the most fun. Normally we go early and have a cocktail and then split an appetizer and split an entree.
It’s really been the best of times and we are committed to it every week.
The kids come home on their own schedules. I pray a whole lot for them and have realized worry is bad for me. I just have to trust and believe that the kids will make good choices and they know that have a place to come back to at anytime.
This post was edited on 3/9/24 at 6:31 am
Posted on 3/9/24 at 6:37 am to Tenfold
I know it’s too late now for the OP but we make it a point to still date while the kids are young too. Too many people focus so much on their kids and chasing them that they forget about keeping the relationship with their wife.
Posted on 3/9/24 at 6:50 am to tigerjjs
Get an assortment of absolute chronic. Both of y’all get super baked then chill and watch Netflix. Profit. Maybe PIIHB.
Posted on 3/9/24 at 6:50 am to tigerjjs
quote:
wife (no pics) and I are trying to find things to do. It’s been difficult tbh.
Start by finding things for you to do.
Many parents lose their sense of selves by devoting so much to their kids.
Best way to fix that is to focus on you first. Find your own hobbies, social life, interests, ambitions, etc. Then invite your wife into it.
You want to be able to say: “Hey honey, I’ve been really getting into [insert some thing you’re interested in] and there’s an event on Friday night. I’d love for you to come with me.”
You don’t want to become these guys:
This post was edited on 3/9/24 at 6:51 am
Posted on 3/9/24 at 6:51 am to tigerjjs
quote:
d wife (no pics) and I are trying to find things to do
PIIHB
ETA: I see I’ve thoroughly been beaten with this response, but it remains all the same.
This post was edited on 3/9/24 at 6:52 am
Posted on 3/9/24 at 7:00 am to tigerjjs
Six months away. I’m sure we will manage.
Posted on 3/9/24 at 7:02 am to tigerjjs
Dance classes, book clubs, investing seminars..;KILL ME NOW
Posted on 3/9/24 at 7:04 am to tigerjjs
quote:
Wife and I work a lot, have “acquaintances” but very few close friends.
My inlaws moved across the country to live near us. My MIL is very outgoing and loves hosting parties, so take this advice knowing that, but within a year or two they have amassed a whole friend network. She joined a bunch of women's groups from the neighborhood/town, some based on game nights and charity.
Of course, those women have husbands which helps out my FIL.
You have to put yourself out there.
One more caveat. We live in a fast growing area, so people who move here tend to be more outgoing to meeting new people because they have left their comfort spot, but I'm sure it can still work for you.
This post was edited on 3/9/24 at 7:08 am
Posted on 3/9/24 at 7:07 am to tigerjjs
These are for Birmingham but could be applied to your city:
History/nature walks at Red Mtn Park
Local theater
UAB/Samford theater or musical performances
Lectures at art museum, libraries, colleges
Classic or indie movies at Sidewalk
Classic movies at the Alabama
Food festivals
Charity events like dragon boat race, flea market at a brewery, latern thing, chilli cook off
Farmers market (I go pretty much every Saturday rain or shine)
Opera Bham (including free local hour long performances at breweries, bars)
AL Symphony (free tickets thru my library, also symphony in park if we here over Memorial Day weekend)
Religious events like Holi, day of the dead, Lenten sermons, or others that are open to the public
Local park for a stroll or hike
Pickleball
UAB/Samford/UA Olympic sports like rowing or volleyball or gymnastics. Baseball/softball also.
PGA srs tour event
Indy race at Barber
World Ganes (will do police and fireman’s games when they are here)
Rickwood Classic
Minor league baseball and hockey
Cemetery tours
Local history/civil rights tours
Local festivals like German Xmas in Cullman, Bessemer BBQ fest, We Love Homewood day
“Tourist” spots like some salvage place on HGTV, art exhibit in this guys front yard, Barber motorcycle museum, events at Vulcan (hate they cancelled their fall concert series)
We keep a shared note that has the date and link to stuff that we might want to do. I used to love live music but not as much anymore. So she we will add shows she’s interested in and also look for touring comedians. Most of the other stuff above is mine.
We’ve also started watching shows together that one or both of us missed (or rewatching something). Curb, Sopranos, the Wire.
I also plan little weekend trips here and there.
Honestly; we have a ton to do and end up missing a lot just to relax and enjoy the quiet.
History/nature walks at Red Mtn Park
Local theater
UAB/Samford theater or musical performances
Lectures at art museum, libraries, colleges
Classic or indie movies at Sidewalk
Classic movies at the Alabama
Food festivals
Charity events like dragon boat race, flea market at a brewery, latern thing, chilli cook off
Farmers market (I go pretty much every Saturday rain or shine)
Opera Bham (including free local hour long performances at breweries, bars)
AL Symphony (free tickets thru my library, also symphony in park if we here over Memorial Day weekend)
Religious events like Holi, day of the dead, Lenten sermons, or others that are open to the public
Local park for a stroll or hike
Pickleball
UAB/Samford/UA Olympic sports like rowing or volleyball or gymnastics. Baseball/softball also.
PGA srs tour event
Indy race at Barber
World Ganes (will do police and fireman’s games when they are here)
Rickwood Classic
Minor league baseball and hockey
Cemetery tours
Local history/civil rights tours
Local festivals like German Xmas in Cullman, Bessemer BBQ fest, We Love Homewood day
“Tourist” spots like some salvage place on HGTV, art exhibit in this guys front yard, Barber motorcycle museum, events at Vulcan (hate they cancelled their fall concert series)
We keep a shared note that has the date and link to stuff that we might want to do. I used to love live music but not as much anymore. So she we will add shows she’s interested in and also look for touring comedians. Most of the other stuff above is mine.
We’ve also started watching shows together that one or both of us missed (or rewatching something). Curb, Sopranos, the Wire.
I also plan little weekend trips here and there.
Honestly; we have a ton to do and end up missing a lot just to relax and enjoy the quiet.
Posted on 3/9/24 at 7:16 am to Teddy Ruxpin
It was more gradual for us. The kid left for college, but college was only 50 miles away, so we saw her often. We did worry a lot, but time dulls that. Then she graduated and took a job 700 miles away. A lot more worry, but we are tied up with aging parents. Then in short order, we send the dog back to her maker and the parents all die.
The true "empty nester" feeling hit us when we found ourselves without a child, a dog (who was our furry child), and parents to take care off.
I think we are still struggling with that. Get out and do stuff is all I can tell you. Health challenges can make that hard too, so do it while you can.
The true "empty nester" feeling hit us when we found ourselves without a child, a dog (who was our furry child), and parents to take care off.
I think we are still struggling with that. Get out and do stuff is all I can tell you. Health challenges can make that hard too, so do it while you can.
Posted on 3/9/24 at 7:20 am to tigerjjs
I’m working seven days a week 12 hours a day to pay for the two kids out of the house. LSU / Sororities/ apartments ain’t cheap.
Probably great for my wife. Laid up on the couch taking naps and crap.
Probably great for my wife. Laid up on the couch taking naps and crap.
Posted on 3/9/24 at 7:28 am to northshorebamaman
quote:My kids are really little, but I dread this already
Finding things to do has been the easy part for us. The hard part has been trying not to worry that they're ok now that I don't see them all the time or know if they made it home.
idk how parents just…let them goPosted on 3/9/24 at 7:35 am to When in Rome
Swingers clubs are always looking for new adventures
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