Drunk driving close calls

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in no way do I condone drunk driving. It is dangerous, selfish, and results in thousands of deaths each year.

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You could have stopped right there.

While I was at LSU we were having a crawfish boil at my apartment. We got up early and started hitting the keg because everyone was coming over at 11. About 9:30 am I noticed 4 or 5 Blockbuster videos (I'm old) on my counter that were due at noon. Cut through campus to drop them off on Highland and State. On the way home I made an illegal right turn on red at Highland and Dalrymple and got pulled over by LSU PD. I had a beer between my legs so I put it in my console, got out and stayed as far away from the cop as I could while he wrote me a ticket. I guess he just didn't expect me to be 5-6 beers in before 10am because he never said a thing.

"My buddy" had a close call in Athens. Was legit drunk, but not plastered.

Driving the 1 mile home from the bar, with girlfriend (future wife) in car, gets pulled over for a tail light out. This car had like 90 functioning tail lights, but the 91st tail light was out. Brake lights fine. No weaving, no speeding, no reason to pull over except a tail light.

Pulled into Oconee St. Dairy Queen.

Cop is the head of the Athens DUI task force. Cop takes license and registration, insurance, comes back clean. Cop calls in 6 more cop cars, all freshly graduated cadettes, and decides to demonstrate a perfect by-the-book dui bust.

As all cop cars are circled around in the parking lot, and a dozen whipper snapper cops are standing in a circle watching, the head cop asks my buddy to step out of the vehicle.

My buddy complies.

Cop asks buddy to submit to a breathalizer.

Buddy says no, there is no probable cause. "You said you pulled me over for a tail light, not weaving, not speeding, no other moving violation, all of my paperwork is clean. I'm not slurring my speech, there's no justification"

Cop says "I smell alcohol in the vehicle"

Buddy says "My girlfriend in the passenger seat is drunk. I'm trying to get her home safe. That's the alcohol you smell."

Cop says turn around.

Cop puts handcuffs on buddy and begins to Mirandize him.

Buddy says whoah whoah whoah, what the hell is this?

Cop informs buddy of a brand new Georgia law that says if you decline a sobriety test for any reason, you get an automatic arrest, DUI charge, and mandatory 6 month license suspension.

Buddy says please let me take the field sobriety test.

Cop says too late, you already declined the breathalizer.

Buddy says he'll submit to the breathalizer if he fails the field sobriety test.

Cop has all these fresh-faced young whipper snappers watching, and he's trying to do everything by the book, so he concedes to allow buddy to take field test.

Handcuffs come off.

30 minutes of field sobriety tests ensue... cop knows Buddy has been drinking, but can't get him to frick up enough in front of the whippersnappers to warrant a breathalizer. Cop tries blinding buddy several times with bright light to make him frick shite up. Buddy passes everything.

Finally, cop lets buddy drive off with girlfriend without so much as a warning for the tail light.

My buddy would have definitely failed the breathalizer.

Back in 2000 freshman at southeastern. Got pulled over by the southeastern police. Stood on one foot and counted to 2, fell over into a ditch full of water. Cops laughed, it was cold. Drove me home.

In the age of uber there is no excuse now.

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Cops laughed, it was cold. Drove me home

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I grew up in a small rural suburb and had a similar experience. The cop knew my family and threatened to tell my grandfather. He told me he'd follow me home and arrest me if I got above 35

Zero respect for people who do it and put other peoples lives at risk.

Just take an uber or walk home

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Just take an uber or walk home

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Because that existed in 1991 when I started driving. Dui threads trigger the Puritans on the OT more than anything and I'd be willing to bet that 99% of them that drink have driven over the legal limit at some point in their lifetime.

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or walk home

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I just had another memory...

My buddy's girlfriend in the previous story, her brother lived across the street from this Dairy Queen a few years later, coincidentally. He walked home drunk from downtown once, and was beaten to a bloody pulp on the sidewalk and robbed.

There was some surveillance but the hoods couldn't really be identified. And besides, busting college kids makes money. Busting real criminals costs money.

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and asked what I was up to

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What did you tell him?

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Don't have any. I'm not a fricking a-hole.

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