re: Does society get back to non-fearful hands off parenting of kids?

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I also find the argument that they can't get the same benefits just by being involved in sports, clubs, etc not very convincing, and those generally are safer environments.

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I 100% agree sports teach kids valuable lessons about life, risk, failure, teamwork, etc… Sports or other similar types of activities are an invaluable part of growing up IMO.

However, playing on a sports team is still an activity that is monitored and controlled by adults, it’s not free play where they have to navigate creating their own rules, activities, and risk/reward choices.

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Most of the benefits of 'free play' in terms of development applies for kids 5 and under.

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That’s not true, most of what I’ve seen is from ages 7-12, I don’t think many people were ever letting kids under 6 roam around unchecked

I think you are focusing on free play more as "no adults allowed' when developmentally it doesn't matter a whole lot (at least based off what I've read, though I'm not claiming to be a scholar on this and I'm partly here to learn). The research I've read pretty much says recess at school or time at playgrounds is just as beneficial as playing at some random neighbor's house.

There can be other benefits to the roaming thing outside of just developmental ones, sure. I just think the importance of those is being overstated in this thread. And I'm not even necessarily saying don't let your kids roam either, but I do think you should make an honest assessment of the area you live in and the families/kids in it before deciding.

Had to post an update to this thread.

I get home today and my son and his friend are playing in our backyard “making a lake”. They dug a hole around a tree and were filling it up with water, absolutely covered in mud. I was immediately so happy, then I noticed there is some kind of ground wire by the tree, one of them was cut so I think they were dead, but I did have to make them play a new game.


So I guess there is a limit to the whole let them make their own mistakes, and mine is cutting ground wires that could kill the power or electrocute my child and his friend standing in ankle deep water

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One of the main points in the book “The Anxious Generation” by Jonathan Haidt

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Good book. Every teacher in my kids’ school supposedly read it over the summer and they’ve held parent book discussions on it this fall.

We are certainly trying to implement this. Giant cars and drivers who can’t look up from their phone is the biggest concern for us, but that’s why we have a few spare children.

Will say we live 3 blocks from grocery store and letting the older kid 8 go down to store to buy bananas, bread, butter, is something we’ve just started letting em do fully by themselves. I pace a bit while they are gone.

I listened to Dr. Haidt on Huberman’s podcast this summer, and it made a lot of sense. Here’s the link if you are interested.

Dr. Haidt On Huberman Lab podcast