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Started By
Message
re: Divorce Prep
Posted on 9/11/25 at 11:55 am to Cage Fighter Trainee
Posted on 9/11/25 at 11:55 am to Cage Fighter Trainee
Make sure the drinking is as documented as possible.
If she hasn’t met with an attorney yet, make appointments with all the top 10-15 divorce attorneys for a consult and do it quickly. Yes, it may cost you $100 each stop but that conflicts them from being her attorney.
Financially there’s not a lot you can do on short notice. Keep this in mind: once she files there is nothing you should give an inch of ground on to be a “good guy”. Fight every step tooth and nail for what’s best for you. What’s best for you is ultimately what’s best for the children.
The system is stacked against you from the jump.
If she hasn’t met with an attorney yet, make appointments with all the top 10-15 divorce attorneys for a consult and do it quickly. Yes, it may cost you $100 each stop but that conflicts them from being her attorney.
Financially there’s not a lot you can do on short notice. Keep this in mind: once she files there is nothing you should give an inch of ground on to be a “good guy”. Fight every step tooth and nail for what’s best for you. What’s best for you is ultimately what’s best for the children.
The system is stacked against you from the jump.
1
Posted on 9/11/25 at 11:55 am to SallysHuman
quote:
Hire a private investigator.
I can’t say it any better than this..
quote:
What’s the point? Infidelity, as far as I know, in Louisiana doesn’t give you any extra collateral in anything. They’re going to spilt all property in half at the very least. Account for all your financials RIGHT NOW. I’d move half of whatever joint savings you have that she has access to.
Posted on 9/11/25 at 11:56 am to Cage Fighter Trainee
quote:
I know which attorney but she's already met with her. I don't want to give any clue as to what I know.
Do you have a friend in the clerks office or an attorney friend that you know that can pull the petition so you can actually read it before you "officially" get served?
I'll say it again, dont hire an attorney unless you absolutely have to, and DO NOT MOVE out of your house
Posted on 9/11/25 at 11:56 am to Mid Iowa Tiger
I would definitely try to document the drinking. If she’s wasted, film it. Document the garbage can full of wine/liquor bottles and show her consuming in excess.
This will only benefit you in custody. The other stuff is all business
This will only benefit you in custody. The other stuff is all business
Posted on 9/11/25 at 11:57 am to Cage Fighter Trainee
quote:
The counselor always skipped over that. He said he was trying to resolve other things before getting to that. We saw this guy for over a year and he never addressed it. He even noted I brought it up like 23 times during one of our sessions - he knew exactly how many times I had brought it up.
family counseling is considered, by professionals in that field, to be the lowest member of the counseling food chain, in terms of education, skill, and experience.
Posted on 9/11/25 at 11:58 am to profdillweed
quote:
Do you have a friend in the clerks office or an attorney friend that you know that can pull the petition so you can actually read it before you "officially" get served?
Oh man. Its public record, dont have to sneak around just give the clerk your name.
Posted on 9/11/25 at 11:59 am to Cage Fighter Trainee
Thanks for reminding me to not get married
Posted on 9/11/25 at 11:59 am to Shexter
quote:
If you move out and get an apartment, this is 100% guaranteed. Don't do it.
I don't want to move anywhere. I've touched every square inch of this house and yard and brought all of my kids home from the hospital here.
Funny thing is she picked the house and I didn't really want to move to this city. Now, my kids and I love the house, neighborhood and everyone around here. She literally hasn't done a thing to this house, never pulled a weed, painted a room, or even rearranged furniture...nothing.
Posted on 9/11/25 at 12:00 pm to Lakeboy7
quote:
Oh man. Its public record, dont have to sneak around just give the clerk your name.
I know it becomes public record at some point....but the petition can be filed and it could take weeks or months to become public record or even get served
Posted on 9/11/25 at 12:00 pm to Lakeboy7
When getting a divorce attorney, get a female one.
Posted on 9/11/25 at 12:01 pm to blueboxer1119
quote:
I’d personally start moving money.
Take out shitloads of cash and just tell her you lost it in a casino.
Dumb. Doesn't matter where you move it, they will pull bank statements and you're on the hook for half regardless.
Pull all liquid money out of the accounts into cash.
Freeze all accounts, credit cards, etc.
Give her half the cash, you keep half.
The above is safety, and recommended by lawyers.
After that, do everything you can to come to terms on your own. When the kids hit the bed tonight, say ok you want a divorce. Break out a sheet of paper and start talking it through.
Ok you can have the living room furniture, I'm keeping the bedroom furniture.
Split custody 50-50, I pay for medical, no child support.
Talk it all out, be willing to compromise on material shite to avoid her going scorched earth. She's entitled to half your retirement, don't say that, and offer 25%. She may be thrilled.
Posted on 9/11/25 at 12:02 pm to blueboxer1119
Double post
This post was edited on 9/11/25 at 12:03 pm
Posted on 9/11/25 at 12:02 pm to Cage Fighter Trainee
Lawyers live a good fight and stir the pot
.02cent internet advice-
Damage control-Her lawyer is going to ask her to get your computer and scrub for damaging info. Make sure there is none.
Social media- scan your activity on social media and clean it up.
Financially-Prepare to split things 50/50 and pay her some child support since she’s likely to get the kids just because that’s how it goes most times.
.02cent internet advice-
Damage control-Her lawyer is going to ask her to get your computer and scrub for damaging info. Make sure there is none.
Social media- scan your activity on social media and clean it up.
Financially-Prepare to split things 50/50 and pay her some child support since she’s likely to get the kids just because that’s how it goes most times.
Posted on 9/11/25 at 12:04 pm to Cage Fighter Trainee
quote:
My wife and I have been married 12 yrs and have three minor children together (1 in high school, 1 in middle school and 1 in elementary school). We've drifted apart over the past few years and tried counseling but that didn't work as she didn't think it was worthwhile.
DO NOT GET DIVORCED.
Making things better by getting divorce is the biggest lie that has ever been told.
Do what ever you have to do to stay together and keep your family (as dysfunctional as it may seem) together.
If you children can see you and your wife come back off of this cliff and piece your lives back together it will be the most monumentally valuable lesson they will learn in life. You children should be both of your sole focus. Sacrifice whatever you have to to keep them from going though this divorce. and believe me THEY GO THROUGH IT TOO, and they're much less capable of handling it emotionally.
If you love you kids, you will regret making the decision to divorce. I love my wife but If I could go back in time and tell myself what I just told you I would in a heart beat. I would beg the young me to sacrifice whatever I had to to keep my family together.
I pray that your family can stay together and weather this temporary storm.
Posted on 9/11/25 at 12:05 pm to couv1217
quote:
When getting a divorce attorney, get a female one.
Something wrong with them, man they hate men. All men.
Posted on 9/11/25 at 12:05 pm to profdillweed
quote:
DO NOT MOVE out of your house
I stayed. When we finally reached property settlement, She had to list anything she wanted out of the house and they gave her a time limit to remove those items. After, the lawyer wrote "all remaining contents in the house belong to husband". I was able to keep all my tools, lawn equipment, kids furniture, etc.
Posted on 9/11/25 at 12:06 pm to BoogaBear
quote:
Split custody 50-50, I pay for medical, no child support.
Posted on 9/11/25 at 12:08 pm to Cage Fighter Trainee
Lawyer up immediately.
Posted on 9/11/25 at 12:10 pm to Dicky
The best advice I've seen so far is total liquidation of any assets you can live without.
Sell that boat for $5,000* then you give her $2,500.
* - You didn't really sell it for $5,000
Sell that boat for $5,000* then you give her $2,500.
* - You didn't really sell it for $5,000
Posted on 9/11/25 at 12:10 pm to OysterPoBoy
Try not to piss her off. Be nice until you have a signed agreement.
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