re: Divorce Attorney Advice

If it gets ugly, don’t get emotionally involved in any arguments. Treat it like a business deal where you know the other side is trying to screw you. If they’re suddenly nice it’s because they want something. No shouting matches over the phone - just hang up on them. Gives some sense of control over a terrible situation. Good luck.

Sorry man. We used same attorney to deal with the legality. Try to make it amicable as possible.

Get your own lawyer;

Custody and $$$ are the barbs. Sounds like you have a way ahead on custody and the money is math, nobody may like it but it’s just a formula based off income/expenses;

Get in to counseling and talk to someone;

Universal truth: women are about 10 steps ahead of men on stuff like this. What you didn’t see coming she has thinking about/planning for at least a year;

Universal Truth 2: once a woman has done the diligence in UT 1, there isn’t anything you can do to change the outcome, you are getting a divorce;

Booze and/or drugs as coping mechanism: really bad idea but route lots of guys go that were “blindsided”;

Get in shape: healthy body healthy mind;

High ground: get there, stay there especially around your children.

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If you are open to trying something, try this. It works. New Orleans has a weekend coming up in two weeks, so you wouldn't even have to wait. They include options when registering for partners to stay in separate beds or even separate rooms. Don't have to publicly share what is going on in your marriage and be with other couples struggling. I can't recommend this enough, if you are willing to try something, try this!

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band -aid on a femoral artery wound, imo

She cheated. Kick her out.

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We need the backstory baw

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Not a ton more to tell.

His wife told him one day that she wanted a divorce. She had already been to an attorney and had the paperwork drawn up.

She told him that he didn't need an attorney because she had already taken care of everything.

He spoke with her attorney, and a few days later went to her office and signed away everything.

He was a complete wreck.

His mom found him a place to live in an apartment complex. I'm pretty sure he still lives there.

Once he told us what was happening, we were all "Dude, what the frick are you doing? She's going to take everything from you if you don't fight."

He just kind shrugged his shoulders like he was saying "what can I do?"

We even offered to help him pay for an attorney.

Only thing I will say is make sure the custody is equal as there are very specific dollar amounts tied to very small percentage changes. Know two guys where the ex tried to come up with these bizarre schedules of “equal custody” which actually were not fully equal so that they could get more child support. Luckily in both cases the man’s lawyers caught it ahead of time.

That’s bc lost women are incapable of self awareness
They use terms like gaslighting and boundaries and peace
Not to mention the bibpolarism and personality disorders that are present.

Fact is pretty much every other aspect of their life is in same place as their marriage
Guess what takes the hit?
Gets the blame?
The man. The marriage the relationship.

It happened to me.


Heck I begged and pleaded, tried to be logical and level headed, spent
Money bought things and trips…. Meant nothing.

When I finally realized and convinced my self
A) I wasn’t the problem
B) you can not fix someone else

Then things changed for me and I was able to move on.
It sucks bc the good times seems to take presidence in mind over the bad times but life goes on.

Theees an old thread in here about Borderiine personality disorder.

It was life charger for me.

I had no idea so many others went through same thing I went through.
Scary actually the similarities

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Then I found out about the affair.

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A man will sacrifice his happiness for his family.

A woman will sacrifice her family for her happiness.

Let that sink in.

Move on. This is the best thing that could have happened to you. You will be better off. She wasn’t the person you want to build a life with.

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Here's what I don't understand. They are finalizing their divorce today and she just texted my wife saying the court is granting him money for the house when she eventually sells it and money she is expected to get from a vehicle accident settlement that he wasn't in the car for. She is beyond pissed.

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splitting proceeds from the marital assets?