Did you hear about the turtle who got mugged by two snails?

Be sure not to use that one at a party

OT sucking with these jokes as of late.

A woman walks into a library and asks if they have any books about paranoia.

Librarian: "They're right behind you!"

Do you know why turtle wax is so expensive?

.....








Because their ears are so small.

You know why lesbians don't have cable?


They hate cox

I've been told I'm condescending.

(that means I talk down to people)

Question: since tomatoes are considered fruits, does that mean ketchup is a smoothie?

Why is it a bad idea to tell secrets on a farm?

Because the potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears and the beanstalk.

What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would sky rocket.