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Dear OT - What is proper response to a particular dining out with others behavior?
Posted on 1/21/23 at 3:36 pm
Posted on 1/21/23 at 3:36 pm
For many years, when dining out with in-laws, after all have eaten, when father-in-law is ready to go, it is expected that the experience ends and all depart.
If staying a bit to talk exceeds his will to be there, he stands up and that is it.
To be clear, about 2/3 of the time it lines up with 'normal' time to end. However, 1/3 of the time it is accepted that when he is ready, all must be ready to go. This is same no matter who pays the bill or drives to the restaurant.
I am sitting at the restaurant alone, as I just called bullchit on this (kidding).
Curious what OT thinks about how to handle this 1st world problem.
If staying a bit to talk exceeds his will to be there, he stands up and that is it.
To be clear, about 2/3 of the time it lines up with 'normal' time to end. However, 1/3 of the time it is accepted that when he is ready, all must be ready to go. This is same no matter who pays the bill or drives to the restaurant.
I am sitting at the restaurant alone, as I just called bullchit on this (kidding).
Curious what OT thinks about how to handle this 1st world problem.
This post was edited on 1/21/23 at 3:38 pm
32
Posted on 1/21/23 at 3:38 pm to Turf Taint
quote:
Curios what OT thinks about this cuck problem
Posted on 1/21/23 at 3:38 pm to Turf Taint
This falls into one of those pick your battles issues. Maybe the best answer is don’t go out to eat with the in-laws.
Posted on 1/21/23 at 3:40 pm to Turf Taint
Get up and leave first. That way, it won’t bother you and you can often get a free meal.
Posted on 1/21/23 at 3:42 pm to Turf Taint
Say good night great to see you and invite who you want to talk to to go to the bar or come over for a night cap.
Posted on 1/21/23 at 3:44 pm to Turf Taint
quote:
when father-in-law is ready to go, it is expected that the experience ends and all depart. If staying a bit to talk exceeds his will to be there, he stands up and that is it.
I can’t fault him because I’m the same way. For some reason I begin to feel like a captive prisoner if I have to sit at a table once the meal is completed.
I’m ready to get home to enjoy my bed, or shower, or TV, or tipsy wife. My family time with the in-laws is over at that point.
Posted on 1/21/23 at 3:45 pm to Turf Taint
Tell your wife if she doesn’t help you amend this you’ll do this anytime your FIL isn’t around.
Posted on 1/21/23 at 3:45 pm to Turf Taint
He sounds like an Alpha and you follow him instinctively.
I’m await his response thread “My beta son-in-law wants to be chatty Kathy at the restaurant after we’re finished eating”
I’m await his response thread “My beta son-in-law wants to be chatty Kathy at the restaurant after we’re finished eating”
Posted on 1/21/23 at 3:46 pm to Turf Taint
Patriarch AF
Posted on 1/21/23 at 3:48 pm to Turf Taint
Posted on 1/21/23 at 3:49 pm to TrueBaldPate
quote:
Say good night great to see you and invite who you want to talk to to go to the bar or come over for a night cap.
This, but with the prerequisite that you always take separate cars.
Posted on 1/21/23 at 3:49 pm to Turf Taint
Your father in law is my spirit animal.
Posted on 1/21/23 at 3:52 pm to Turf Taint
10:1 he's paying and likely never makes a fuss about that. In the meantime, let the old man has his fun.
Posted on 1/21/23 at 3:53 pm to Turf Taint
When an Alpha is ready to leave, he leaves.
Posted on 1/21/23 at 3:53 pm to Box Geauxrilla
quote:
He sounds like an Alpha and you follow him instinctively.
Sonic, now, puthy
Posted on 1/21/23 at 3:53 pm to Turf Taint
quote:this is when I go out to smoke
he stands up and that is it.
Posted on 1/21/23 at 3:56 pm to Turf Taint
Personally, I believe that once the bill is paid you should not continue to have long conversations unless its at the end of the night and there are not others waiting for a table.
People should be aware that by staying at the table that's taking money away from the waiter. I take it upon myself to take control of the situation by suggesting we take the conversation somewhere else in order to make the table available,
People should be aware that by staying at the table that's taking money away from the waiter. I take it upon myself to take control of the situation by suggesting we take the conversation somewhere else in order to make the table available,
Posted on 1/21/23 at 3:56 pm to Turf Taint
I loathe group dinners. Everything takes long, and I just want to be home. I definitely have zero desire to sit there after the bill is paid and continue the evening with nothing to eat or drink. The restaurant doesn’t want me there at this point either.
Posted on 1/21/23 at 3:57 pm to Turf Taint
When he stands up tell him sit back down or you’ll put him down. Don’t be afraid to take it as far as it needs to go to establish yourself.
Posted on 1/21/23 at 3:58 pm to Turf Taint
I have no idea what’s going on with this op
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