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Dear OT - What is proper response to a particular dining out with others behavior?

Posted on 1/21/23 at 3:36 pm
Posted by Turf Taint
New Orleans
Member since Jun 2021
6010 posts
Posted on 1/21/23 at 3:36 pm
For many years, when dining out with in-laws, after all have eaten, when father-in-law is ready to go, it is expected that the experience ends and all depart.

If staying a bit to talk exceeds his will to be there, he stands up and that is it.

To be clear, about 2/3 of the time it lines up with 'normal' time to end. However, 1/3 of the time it is accepted that when he is ready, all must be ready to go. This is same no matter who pays the bill or drives to the restaurant.

I am sitting at the restaurant alone, as I just called bullchit on this (kidding).

Curious what OT thinks about how to handle this 1st world problem.
This post was edited on 1/21/23 at 3:38 pm
Posted by LSUnation78
Northshore
Member since Aug 2012
13426 posts
Posted on 1/21/23 at 3:38 pm to
quote:

Curios what OT thinks about this cuck problem
Posted by ibldprplgld
Member since Feb 2008
26098 posts
Posted on 1/21/23 at 3:38 pm to
This falls into one of those pick your battles issues. Maybe the best answer is don’t go out to eat with the in-laws.
Posted by CC
Smyrna, GA
Member since Feb 2004
15001 posts
Posted on 1/21/23 at 3:40 pm to
Get up and leave first. That way, it won’t bother you and you can often get a free meal.
Posted by TrueBaldPate
BR
Member since Dec 2019
882 posts
Posted on 1/21/23 at 3:42 pm to
Say good night great to see you and invite who you want to talk to to go to the bar or come over for a night cap.
Posted by Ghost of Colby
Alberta, overlooking B.C.
Member since Jan 2009
13633 posts
Posted on 1/21/23 at 3:44 pm to
quote:

when father-in-law is ready to go, it is expected that the experience ends and all depart. If staying a bit to talk exceeds his will to be there, he stands up and that is it.

I can’t fault him because I’m the same way. For some reason I begin to feel like a captive prisoner if I have to sit at a table once the meal is completed.

I’m ready to get home to enjoy my bed, or shower, or TV, or tipsy wife. My family time with the in-laws is over at that point.
Posted by baldona
Florida
Member since Feb 2016
22421 posts
Posted on 1/21/23 at 3:45 pm to
Tell your wife if she doesn’t help you amend this you’ll do this anytime your FIL isn’t around.
Posted by Box Geauxrilla
Member since Jun 2013
19170 posts
Posted on 1/21/23 at 3:45 pm to
He sounds like an Alpha and you follow him instinctively.

I’m await his response thread “My beta son-in-law wants to be chatty Kathy at the restaurant after we’re finished eating”
Posted by shutterspeed
MS Gulf Coast
Member since May 2007
68134 posts
Posted on 1/21/23 at 3:46 pm to
Patriarch AF
Posted by Craw Dawg
Member since Jan 2023
687 posts
Posted on 1/21/23 at 3:48 pm to
Posted by shinerfan
Duckworld(Earth-616)
Member since Sep 2009
25563 posts
Posted on 1/21/23 at 3:49 pm to
quote:

Say good night great to see you and invite who you want to talk to to go to the bar or come over for a night cap.



This, but with the prerequisite that you always take separate cars.
Posted by Jim Rockford
Member since May 2011
102294 posts
Posted on 1/21/23 at 3:49 pm to
Your father in law is my spirit animal.
Posted by Sao
East Texas Piney Woods
Member since Jun 2009
68123 posts
Posted on 1/21/23 at 3:52 pm to

10:1 he's paying and likely never makes a fuss about that. In the meantime, let the old man has his fun.
Posted by Stevo
Baton Rouge
Member since Sep 2004
12069 posts
Posted on 1/21/23 at 3:53 pm to
When an Alpha is ready to leave, he leaves.
Posted by Turf Taint
New Orleans
Member since Jun 2021
6010 posts
Posted on 1/21/23 at 3:53 pm to
quote:

He sounds like an Alpha and you follow him instinctively.


Sonic, now, puthy
Posted by CuyahogaTigerJr
Northeast ohio
Member since Aug 2018
2320 posts
Posted on 1/21/23 at 3:53 pm to
quote:

he stands up and that is it.
this is when I go out to smoke
Posted by OweO
Plaquemine, La
Member since Sep 2009
117535 posts
Posted on 1/21/23 at 3:56 pm to
Personally, I believe that once the bill is paid you should not continue to have long conversations unless its at the end of the night and there are not others waiting for a table.

People should be aware that by staying at the table that's taking money away from the waiter. I take it upon myself to take control of the situation by suggesting we take the conversation somewhere else in order to make the table available,
Posted by BabyTac
Austin, TX
Member since Jun 2008
14334 posts
Posted on 1/21/23 at 3:56 pm to
I loathe group dinners. Everything takes long, and I just want to be home. I definitely have zero desire to sit there after the bill is paid and continue the evening with nothing to eat or drink. The restaurant doesn’t want me there at this point either.
Posted by Wabbit7
Member since Aug 2018
1785 posts
Posted on 1/21/23 at 3:57 pm to
When he stands up tell him sit back down or you’ll put him down. Don’t be afraid to take it as far as it needs to go to establish yourself.
Posted by TackySweater
Member since Dec 2020
19968 posts
Posted on 1/21/23 at 3:58 pm to
I have no idea what’s going on with this op
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