- My Forums
- Tiger Rant
- LSU Recruiting
- SEC Rant
- Saints Talk
- Pelicans Talk
- More Sports Board
- Fantasy Sports
- Golf Board
- Soccer Board
- O-T Lounge
- Tech Board
- Home/Garden Board
- Outdoor Board
- Health/Fitness Board
- Movie/TV Board
- Book Board
- Music Board
- Political Talk
- Money Talk
- Fark Board
- Gaming Board
- Travel Board
- Food/Drink Board
- Ticket Exchange
- TD Help Board
Customize My Forums- View All Forums
- Show Left Links
- Topic Sort Options
- Trending Topics
- Recent Topics
- Active Topics
Started By
Message
Dealing with death of a parent
Posted on 8/22/21 at 11:00 am
Posted on 8/22/21 at 11:00 am
Today would have been my dad’s bday. Already almost been 3 months he has been gone.
How have others coped with this? When does is truly get to where you just don’t all of a sudden get punched in the face with the grief? A year? 2 years?
How have others coped with this? When does is truly get to where you just don’t all of a sudden get punched in the face with the grief? A year? 2 years?
95
Posted on 8/22/21 at 11:00 am to lsunurse
Prayers for you as you go through this ... I have no words to offer other than condolences. I somehow miss that this happened.
Posted on 8/22/21 at 11:02 am to lsunurse
I’m very sorry nurse.
Posted on 8/22/21 at 11:03 am to lsunurse
(no message)
This post was edited on 11/15/21 at 1:10 pm
Posted on 8/22/21 at 11:03 am to lsunurse
quote:
How have others coped with this? When does is truly get to where you just don’t all of a sudden get punched in the face with the grief? A year? 2 years?
My dad passed away unexpectedly on the operating table six years ago. I didn't even get to say goodbye.
It will pass, but not completely. Still to this day it will hit me out of the blue when I'm reminded of him when I go somewhere, do something, etc.
Posted on 8/22/21 at 11:04 am to lsunurse
Sorry for your loss. Some heal and some never forget. I hate you are going through this, but there seems to be no reasonable answer. My Dad was so sick (Dementia). Once in a sudden lucid state, he asked my brother and I to not try to keep him alive. Has been eight years. Hard to forget some of those those things.
Good thoughts for you.
Good thoughts for you.
Posted on 8/22/21 at 11:04 am to tiger91
Thank you
He died May 24 in his home. We think he likely passed in his sleep. I’ve posted about his mental illness (severe debilitating anxiety) struggles on here and I know he is finally at peace and know his illness is no longer tormenting him every moment like it was when he was alive. And that brings me some peace.
He died May 24 in his home. We think he likely passed in his sleep. I’ve posted about his mental illness (severe debilitating anxiety) struggles on here and I know he is finally at peace and know his illness is no longer tormenting him every moment like it was when he was alive. And that brings me some peace.
This post was edited on 8/22/21 at 11:06 am
Posted on 8/22/21 at 11:04 am to lsunurse
About 2-3 years it gets better and more normal. But 5 years later I still get the guy punch every now and then but it’s not as often and it’s not as severe
Often it’s during milestones like getting married or the birth of Junior and shite like that that I know my mom would have loved
Often it’s during milestones like getting married or the birth of Junior and shite like that that I know my mom would have loved
This post was edited on 8/22/21 at 11:07 am
Posted on 8/22/21 at 11:06 am to lsunurse
I am not close to my parents but my grandparents were everything. Thinking about your question made me think about my grandmother never seeing my grandchildren. And that makes me cry. It has been 12 plus years. So I am obviously no help.
Posted on 8/22/21 at 11:06 am to lsunurse
It probably took me a year after my mom died that when I was trying to remember something that I knew she would know the answer to, that I didn't say to myself "call mom".
It will get better.
It will get better.
Posted on 8/22/21 at 11:07 am to lsunurse
I’m so sorry Nurse.
My Mom passed in December. I’ll have days where I’m ok and some where I’m not. The ok days get more frequent with time. We just went through a bunch of “firsts” without her and that dragged a bunch of stuff up. It’s been rough. But with time it gets more manageable. On my birthday, I made it a point to do something to honor her and that helped.
It’s different for everyone though.
My Mom passed in December. I’ll have days where I’m ok and some where I’m not. The ok days get more frequent with time. We just went through a bunch of “firsts” without her and that dragged a bunch of stuff up. It’s been rough. But with time it gets more manageable. On my birthday, I made it a point to do something to honor her and that helped.
It’s different for everyone though.
Posted on 8/22/21 at 11:08 am to lsunurse
The memories may be painful today, but they will soon provide comfort.
Posted on 8/22/21 at 11:11 am to lsunurse
quote:
He died May 24 in his home. We think he likely passed in his sleep. I’ve posted about his mental illness (severe debilitating anxiety) struggles on here and I know he is finally at peace and know his illness is no longer tormenting him every moment like it was when he was alive. And that brings me some peace.
Peacefully is a blessing .. and yes, I remembered about the mental struggles. My parents are 76 and 74. I seriously almost cry every time we say good bye either from a visit or from a phone call as no one ever knows what the next moment will bring.
Give yourself some time to grieve ... there's no timeline ... as you know, everyone is just so different in their journey.
Posted on 8/22/21 at 11:12 am to lsunurse
As someone mentioned, some heal and some don’t. My wife’s Mother has been gone for over twenty years and she is still trying to deal with the loss.
Good luck amd God bless.
Good luck amd God bless.
Posted on 8/22/21 at 11:12 am to BluegrassBelle
My mom and siblings and I struggle a lot with guilt over feeling a small sense of relief. His last year or so was really bad to the point it was very difficult to be around him and it severely stressed out my family that lived with him. They looked forward to work cause it was an escape. His anxiety had made him so miserable and he wanted everyone else around him to be miserable as well.
I know it is normal to feel that way considering that situation but it still messes with you. I’m trying now to balance helping them out now since he is gone and he was the one to take care of all the bills, etc, while having a life of my own and it gets hard.
I know it is normal to feel that way considering that situation but it still messes with you. I’m trying now to balance helping them out now since he is gone and he was the one to take care of all the bills, etc, while having a life of my own and it gets hard.
Posted on 8/22/21 at 11:13 am to lsunurse
What helped me was just not thinking about it. I have kids and a busy job so there’s plenty distractions.
Posted on 8/22/21 at 11:13 am to lsunurse
I know your mom and dad were there where you are but are your siblings as well? Hopefully you have help to handle things.
Posted on 8/22/21 at 11:16 am to lsunurse
It's different for all of us. I lost my dad on Dec 19, 1993 and I will occasionally still have dreams of him coming through the door and us talking and having a cup of coffee only to wake up and find it was only a dream.
I can't say when I really got back into the groove of things. It just happened gradually. It's like any physical wound that heals. You cut yourself badly and the wound is there for days or even weeks afterward, but then one day it's healed. You can't pinpoint the day that it healed, but the wound has been repaired. Sure, there's a scar that's left, but don't dwell on that scar.
For seven or eight years after Dad's passing, whenever I would run across a structural or engineering problem on a project I was building, I would reach for the phone and start calling his office number... It went like this:
*Dialing - (606) 324-3171...
Then it would occur to me, "What the hell am I doing? He's not there anymore."
It's a slow process, but there's no need to be in a hurry to rush it. Acknowledge the grief, but don't allow yourself to wallow in it. Strive to be the person your dad raised you to be and honor his memory with your life.
I can't say when I really got back into the groove of things. It just happened gradually. It's like any physical wound that heals. You cut yourself badly and the wound is there for days or even weeks afterward, but then one day it's healed. You can't pinpoint the day that it healed, but the wound has been repaired. Sure, there's a scar that's left, but don't dwell on that scar.
For seven or eight years after Dad's passing, whenever I would run across a structural or engineering problem on a project I was building, I would reach for the phone and start calling his office number... It went like this:
*Dialing - (606) 324-3171...
Then it would occur to me, "What the hell am I doing? He's not there anymore."
It's a slow process, but there's no need to be in a hurry to rush it. Acknowledge the grief, but don't allow yourself to wallow in it. Strive to be the person your dad raised you to be and honor his memory with your life.
Posted on 8/22/21 at 11:17 am to tiger91
Both my younger siblings that live with my mom are mentally challenged. And my mom can be a little slow at times and not truly grasp how things work. My other brother lives in SF.
So I am on my own here in AZ and basically head of the household even though I live 40 minutes away from them. I was already on my parents accounts so that makes it easier to pay all the bills etc. My mom and siblings don’t drive but they are able to manage day to day without my help. They use public transportation and uber to get around. But when big stuff happens….that’s when I need to get involved.
So I am on my own here in AZ and basically head of the household even though I live 40 minutes away from them. I was already on my parents accounts so that makes it easier to pay all the bills etc. My mom and siblings don’t drive but they are able to manage day to day without my help. They use public transportation and uber to get around. But when big stuff happens….that’s when I need to get involved.
Posted on 8/22/21 at 11:18 am to lsunurse
quote:
But when big stuff happens….that’s when I need to get involved.
Hoping no big things happen.
Page 1 of 7
Back to top
Follow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News