re: Dads that pay child support: how do you do it?

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Ask for a raise or find a way to get a promotion

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She'll just go back to the court for more money from you. 20% is probably no matter what you make.

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I’m going to have to think outside the box. Paying a mortgage by myself and forking over 20% of my net leaves me with little wiggle room. My lifestyle is already changing from a financial standpoint. The days of traveling and eating out are gone.

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It's an adjustment. Find what you need and what you don't. If you have equity in your home it may be time to downsize and help mitigate that cost some if it's feasible. The first thing I did was look at every repeat bill I had and find ways to lessen them. I got rid of a lot of subscription services that I don't really miss and found a gym for $20-$30 less per month that was also closer to me. I started cooking more, even planting my own herb and raised beds for vegetables, fruit, and herbs to help a little there. Seasonal jobs, odd jobs, and even selling junk that you don't need is another way.

I was fortunate that after I was able to level off and get myself 'comfortable' with my new reality that I had some successive progressions in my work life that helped a lot. The biggest thing was not changing my everyday or bloating the expenditures. I kept that the same and allowed the extra to go to different accounts including a "fun" account that has allowed me to start traveling and enjoying nights out again, though most are when I have my son because that's what really matters.

As others have said the biggest thing and hardest part is to not be resentful over the child support. It is for your kid(s). Also to be as kind as possible with your ex. She will be a part of your life and your kids life forever. She is also your kids mom. Before you say anything crass think how you would like someone talking about your mom like that or if your parents tried to pit you against the other. You can think it, and even share your thoughts with friends, but do not let your kids see it. That is their mom and will be the grandmother to your grandkids one day. Play nice even when it's rd.

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What kind of extra jobs are you able to work as far as time goes?

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I work in healthcare, and it's pretty easy to find shifts to pick up at different facilities.

I should've added that I don't really like to cook since I live alone. I lost 30 pounds without really trying. I ate a lot of boiled eggs and grilled chicken.

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What kind of salary were you pulling down as a teacher to do all that and have a house note?

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Just for info:

My wife and I are teachers in Birmingham, Alabama. I make $73k and my wife makes $72k. Considering our pensions are taken care of and we pay $150/month for family insurance (that covers everything), we're doing pretty well.

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My wife and I are teachers in Birmingham, Alabama. I make $73k and my wife makes $72k.

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Teachers in Bhma make over $70k?
In East Baton Rouge teachers start at just under $50k

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I’m a teacher, but also do extracurriculars so my summer is about 6 weeks, not 12 as many on this board think.

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I've said this to you multiple times before, but you need to stop coaching. Are you a head coach of one of the bigger sports at a competitive school? If not, then get the hell out of coaching.

Most stipends are pathetic for the number of hours you put in for extracurriculars. If you're tenured, they have zero say in what you do after 3pm.

Become an 8am-3pm teacher. Use your extra time to generate more income. Anyone with a brain and 5 hours a week can generate at least $10k/year.

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It's an adjustment. Find what you need and what you don't. If you have equity in your home it may be time to downsize and help mitigate that cost some if it's feasible. The first thing I did was look at every repeat bill I had and find ways to lessen them. I got rid of a lot of subscription services that I don't really miss and found a gym for $20-$30 less per month that was also closer to me. I started cooking more, even planting my own herb and raised beds for vegetables, fruit, and herbs to help a little there. Seasonal jobs, odd jobs, and even selling junk that you don't need is another way. I was fortunate that after I was able to level off and get myself 'comfortable' with my new reality that I had some successive progressions in my work life that helped a lot. The biggest thing was not changing my everyday or bloating the expenditures. I kept that the same and allowed the extra to go to different accounts including a "fun" account that has allowed me to start traveling and enjoying nights out again, though most are when I have my son because that's what really matters. As others have said the biggest thing and hardest part is to not be resentful over the child support. It is for your kid(s). Also to be as kind as possible with your ex. She will be a part of your life and your kids life forever. She is also your kids mom. Before you say anything crass think how you would like someone talking about your mom like that or if your parents tried to pit you against the other. You can think it, and even share your thoughts with friends, but do not let your kids see it. That is their mom and will be the grandmother to your grandkids one day. Play nice even when it's rd.

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Lots of wisdom and good advice in this post. Hope OP reads it.

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How are you the one paying support when you’re a teacher?

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Child support will always be paid by the non-custodial parent. If your child lives with your ex-wife, you will pay her child support.

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I've said this to you multiple times before, but you need to stop coaching.

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Coaching and marching band. Band has about the same calendar as football.

Do gig apps on the side. Angi for pros, Amazon Flex, instacart, etc. The wife does this full-time and brings in about 1500 to 1900 a week before taxes. We use the stride app to keep up with deductions etc.