re: Complicated situation. Advice appreciated. Will try to be brief.

Update: still haven't talked to her

talked to guy who leases some of the property this morning. told him to call sheriff's dept if anyone (including her) is on property - he agreed

decided to look into putting barriers on 2 entrances - wire cable type

started thinking about the drug angle - maybe she's addicted to pain pills? just not seeing the meth thing as a possibility but will definitely keep it in mind

regardless, i will make it very clear that she can't continue randomly coming on the property


thanks for input - got a few good ideas and a few laughs

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make sure to bump this thread after the talk


the OT requires updates

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if y'all give me a list of questions I'll try to ask her... not going to ask any sexual questions though

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if y'all give me a list of questions I'll try to ask her... not going to ask any sexual questions though

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id ask her why she frequents your property.

Let her go on the damn property, she just wants somewhere to experience some down time. What's it hurt you? Give her a key if you put up a fence.

Ask her what she's up to, if it's a decent story continue to give her access. Let her know the permission is strictly for her alone. If this is violated then she'll never be able to return. If anyone else is caught there they will be prosecuted as a trespasser, and she doesn't have the right to grant access.

Let her kick the can around there.

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Got Blaze

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edit: we were both typing at same time. Glad to see you're being pro-active to keep her off your property. FWIW, I'm a counselor by profession and the whole scenario with this girl smells real bad.

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yes, I need to take some immediate steps to handle this situation - started that this morning

whole situation kind of broad sided me - it's very strange behavior that landed on my front doorstep - got some good feedback here

I've also asked people about it IRL - so I'm getting feedback from multiple areas - trying to handle this cooly and calmly without kneejerk response

I haven't read past the first page here so I don't know if it's been said, but in all honesty, I wouldn't be surprised if one or both of their bodies are found on your property at some point in the future (like murder/suicide or just her suicide)...especially if the boyfriend in jail is as bad as your OP says he is.

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You won't get an honest answer, but it's worth a shot to ask:

1. So what are your intentions with regard to your bf when he gets out?
2. What are his plans? Does he have a job lined up? Does he seem as though he wants to get his shite together this time? Does he have an older family member or friend who can mentor him or help to get him some steady work?
3. Bf is key here. It may seem prejudiced, but I tend to think that once someone's crossed that threshold of getting thrown inside, he won't hesitate to take what he wants if he gets hungry.

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Let me address the b/f questions - I know a limited amount. I've met him. He's an idiot. Not worried about him taking anything. Here's about all I know - I've asked her several times about him.

He has 2 brothers in jail/prison right now - don't know what they're in for.

He asked her once if she would give up her kids so he and she could spend a year together alone - yeah, that's f'd up and I told her that.

Dude is a typical petty criminal/idiot imo. Not worried about him at all.

He helps her out a lot - not the type to sit around and drink all day. Quiet type, kind of stays to himself.

That's really all I know about the guy. I asked her one day how she felt towards him. Said she was in love with him - that's all I know. Women love the bad boys - no secret there.

She's basically stuck on stupid with the guy - I basically told her she's a grown woman and she has to deal with the consequences.

That's all I know.

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LSU1NSEC

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E-pussy here.

Dude, lets face it. You aren't man enough to face a young woman with hard questions or rules. You take half answers from direct questions and your scared to set her straight on basic life rules, like respecting one's property.
You're hiding A LOT from us, it's obvious. You've mtt the bf and she's hanging out at your place.
Call her mother and find out everything you need. Find the father of the kids and let him know about the convict who's talking her into leaving the kids. Do the right thing.
It's also obvious why your a heterosexual and never married yet your late 30s. You're weak and need to face your own issues before tackling hers.

But before confronting her, your already asking others to call the sheriff? Your putting gates up? Locks ? Etc. All this just to stop a cute woman from getting some solitude every once in a while?

bullshite! You're scared to death about something. You got in bed with this situation some how and now youre flat out scared. Fine, don't tell us, but you are fooling no one but yourself.

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E-pussy here.

Dude, lets face it. You aren't man enough to face a young woman with hard questions or rules. You take half answers from direct questions and your scared to set her straight on basic life rules, like respecting one's property.
You're hiding A LOT from us, it's obvious. You've mtt the bf and she's hanging out at your place.
Call her mother and find out everything you need. Find the father of the kids and let him know about the convict who's talking her into leaving the kids. Do the right thing.
It's also obvious why your a heterosexual and never married yet your late 30s. You're weak and need to face your own issues before tackling hers.

But before confronting her, your already asking others to call the sheriff? Your putting gates up? Locks ? Etc. All this just to stop a cute woman from getting some solitude every once in a while?

bullshite! You're scared to death about something. You got in bed with this situation some how and now youre flat out scared. Fine, don't tell us, but you are fooling no one but yourself.

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settle down Shirley. Jesus where do some of these people come from?