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re: Christian couple maintains abstinence for two years into marriage

Posted on 5/6/19 at 11:47 pm to
Posted by Sao
East Texas Piney Woods
Member since Jun 2009
68469 posts
Posted on 5/6/19 at 11:47 pm to

Masturbating and killing God's potential seed isn't very Christian of them.
Posted by mt1
LV
Member since Nov 2006
7702 posts
Posted on 5/7/19 at 12:16 am to
No shite. He's either gay or a pedophile.
Posted by RabidTiger
Member since Nov 2009
3127 posts
Posted on 5/7/19 at 12:19 am to
I realize this is fake, but if a couple is able to be abstinent without much of a struggle there's fricking problems there.
Posted by SEClint
New Orleans, LA/Portland, OR
Member since Nov 2006
49487 posts
Posted on 5/7/19 at 12:21 am to
I'd rather chance hell.

Posted by djmicrobe
Planet Earth
Member since Jan 2007
4970 posts
Posted on 5/7/19 at 12:30 am to
I hate to break the news to them, but the marriage is not complete until it has been consummated. Engaging in the marital embrace is critical to the completion of the wedding vows. This act is the renewal of the wedding vows which can be done on a yearly, monthly, weekly, or daily basis. Each couple can determine how often they wish to renew their marital vows.
Posted by YatInTheHat
Member since Apr 2017
942 posts
Posted on 5/7/19 at 12:55 am to
Sounds like my marriage, but it took 25 years to get here.
Posted by WAR TIGER
Death Valley
Member since Oct 2005
4295 posts
Posted on 5/7/19 at 1:00 am to
This story reeks of wrapping religious zealotry around embarassing micropenis.
Posted by SoulGlo
Shinin' Through
Member since Dec 2011
17248 posts
Posted on 5/7/19 at 1:01 am to
Umm... Last I checked, God commanded man to multiply.

These two sinners are going to hell.
Posted by lsufanintexas
Member since Sep 2006
5117 posts
Posted on 5/7/19 at 4:12 am to
My wife wanted to do this as well when we were dating. That lasted about a month into our relationship.
Posted by udtiger
Over your left shoulder
Member since Nov 2006
115432 posts
Posted on 5/7/19 at 5:32 am to
Dumb
Posted by Ron Popeil
Mississippi coast or Fairgrounds
Member since Nov 2018
890 posts
Posted on 5/7/19 at 6:14 am to
Source
I’m pretty sure larknews is a parody site.
Posted by willymeaux
Member since Mar 2012
4894 posts
Posted on 5/7/19 at 6:29 am to
What’s the raw potato then?
Posted by NASA_ISS_Tiger
Huntsville, Al via Sulphur, LA
Member since Sep 2005
8245 posts
Posted on 5/7/19 at 6:45 am to
Damn dude must have triglycerides in the 1000s and blood sugar in the 400s. Hell his stuff won't work once they do decide to have sex. Stupid cuck and using religion to hide behind it....losers.
Posted by tigerpimpbot
Chairman of the Pool Board
Member since Nov 2011
69091 posts
Posted on 5/7/19 at 7:27 am to
quote:

Jon eats a whole raw potato to take himself out of the mood.


Posted by Hawgnsincebirth55
Gods country
Member since Sep 2016
18531 posts
Posted on 5/7/19 at 7:47 am to
She looks way out of his league. She’s getting sick from somebody it’s just not this guy
Posted by momentoftruth87
Your mom
Member since Oct 2013
86110 posts
Posted on 5/7/19 at 8:18 am to
quote:

My wife wanted to do this as well when we were dating. That lasted about a month into our relationship.


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