- My Forums
- Tiger Rant
- LSU Recruiting
- SEC Rant
- Saints Talk
- Pelicans Talk
- More Sports Board
- Fantasy Sports
- Golf Board
- Soccer Board
- O-T Lounge
- Tech Board
- Home/Garden Board
- Outdoor Board
- Health/Fitness Board
- Movie/TV Board
- Book Board
- Music Board
- Political Talk
- Money Talk
- Fark Board
- Gaming Board
- Travel Board
- Food/Drink Board
- Ticket Exchange
- TD Help Board
Customize My Forums- View All Forums
- Show Left Links
- Topic Sort Options
- Trending Topics
- Recent Topics
- Active Topics
Started By
Message
Childhood Friends versus Adult Friends
Posted on 9/21/18 at 5:01 pm
Posted on 9/21/18 at 5:01 pm
Is it true that you'll never find friends like you had when you were a kid?
Came across an article that tries to explain the why?
LINK
So, can you ever make true friends as an adult? I think my last batch of true friends was college, and we still keep in touch. Friends I make today are, and it sucks to say, more transactional. What can you do for me or I for you? How will you help me get where I need to be. Everything else is just a bonus.
quote:
“I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?”
Last line in Stand By Me
Came across an article that tries to explain the why?
quote:
In our youth, friendships are much more like love affairs.
They come on passionately, intensely, strong. We meet someone whose mind matches ours and get lost in a world of our own making. We speak a different language with our friends when we are young – made up of our histories, our stories, our inside jokes and our greatest hopes. We get swept away in friendships in a way that is rivaled only by our greatest loves.
And yet something changes as we get older.
It’s not that we can’t still confide in one another – we can and we frequently do. It’s just that our youth has worn off: all its melodrama, all its pain, all its ecstasy. We don’t need our friends like the air in our lungs anymore.
We are able to take care of ourselves, suddenly and unexpectedly. We are no longer co-dependent and obsessed. It’s a healthy, productive transition. And yet there’s a certain intimacy that gets lost.
Adult friendships are a calmer affair. They’re simpler and cleaner and much more straight-forward. They’re relationships of mutual support but no longer relationships of mutual chaos. And no matter how brilliant and strong they can be, there’s something about the frantic, desperate friendships we form when we’re young that can simply never be reconstructed.
quote:
There’s an honesty that comes from knowing someone when they had not yet constructed the persona of who they’d like to be and how they want the world to see them. The friends that we acquire in our youth see us with x-ray goggles no matter how successful and respectful we become.
To them, we aren’t the award-winning professional or the responsible mother of three. To them, we will forever be that teenage girl who had her heartbroken. We’re the lost and reeling college dropout, struggling to find their direction. We’re the person they helped put back together when we were in a thousand pieces and in many ways, that is a relief.
quote:
There are people who can meet us decades down the road and instantly know the parts of us that we’ve learned to keep hidden for so long.
Because the truth is, other people may know our history, but those people know our core.
LINK
So, can you ever make true friends as an adult? I think my last batch of true friends was college, and we still keep in touch. Friends I make today are, and it sucks to say, more transactional. What can you do for me or I for you? How will you help me get where I need to be. Everything else is just a bonus.
This post was edited on 9/21/18 at 5:03 pm
20
Posted on 9/21/18 at 5:04 pm to PurpleandGold Motown
I always ask potential new friends how many friends they’ve had before
I don’t want to be that guy that gets serious with a friend whore
I don’t want to be that guy that gets serious with a friend whore
Posted on 9/21/18 at 5:05 pm to PurpleandGold Motown
:insertgaygif:
Posted on 9/21/18 at 5:05 pm to el Gaucho
quote:
I always ask potential new friends how many friends they’ve had before
I don’t want to be that guy that gets serious with a friend whore
YOu got something against polyamory, granpa?
Posted on 9/21/18 at 5:05 pm to PurpleandGold Motown
The only people I stay in touch with are a few I knew in college.
Posted on 9/21/18 at 5:07 pm to PurpleandGold Motown
I’ve thought about this a lot. Especially with males. It seems all of my dads friends and my own friends fathers were all just friends with their wives friends husbands. All of my childhood friends are scattered and so are my college friends. The best friends I’ve made in the last year since I moved out of college have been friends I’ve made by going back to visit college 
Posted on 9/21/18 at 5:08 pm to PurpleandGold Motown
A good friendship takes time to cultivate. As adults we generally don’t have the adequate time(because of work, studies, romantic relationships, etc) to dedicate to cultivating deep relationships.
Posted on 9/21/18 at 5:11 pm to jlovel7
Trying to get a guys night out in your 30’s is akin to an act of congress.
Posted on 9/21/18 at 5:12 pm to PurpleandGold Motown
I found my best friend as an adult. Totally possible.
Posted on 9/21/18 at 5:13 pm to PurpleandGold Motown
True friendship is a consequence of positive experience and familiarity. It's harder to bond as adults because you normally do not spend the amount of neutral, free time with other people as you did when you were younger, and less guarded. JMO, and it's a simple perspective on a complex notion.
Posted on 9/21/18 at 5:19 pm to Jim Rockford
Growing up was a difficult process for me when it came to making friends. I was nervous and anxious during the first 20 years of my life.
I don’t know if the same game is played nowadays when it comes to teenagers but when I was a teenager, girls always went “steady” with other guys. Seemed like all the cool guys were having skate parties and making out. I never had that.
I left HS and went to Texas to attend college. The friends that I have today are primarily the ones that I encountered during college. Lifelong friends who are loyal caring and real.
I shutter to think about junior high or high school 35 years later. I cannot judge the past because the past included other teenagers who were searching for their own identity. Some of us drew a shorter straw in life. But you learn a lot during the process.
I don’t know if the same game is played nowadays when it comes to teenagers but when I was a teenager, girls always went “steady” with other guys. Seemed like all the cool guys were having skate parties and making out. I never had that.
I left HS and went to Texas to attend college. The friends that I have today are primarily the ones that I encountered during college. Lifelong friends who are loyal caring and real.
I shutter to think about junior high or high school 35 years later. I cannot judge the past because the past included other teenagers who were searching for their own identity. Some of us drew a shorter straw in life. But you learn a lot during the process.
Posted on 9/21/18 at 5:19 pm to PurpleandGold Motown
I've known most of my best friends since I was 5 or 6. Hard to replace 25 years of friendship.
Our parents grew up together, and our grandparents, and so on and so forth. Raised in the same cultural mores.
I have good friends that I've made as an adult, both through school and through working/traveling, but I sincerely doubt the bond will be as strong as what has been cultivated over a lifetime.
Our parents grew up together, and our grandparents, and so on and so forth. Raised in the same cultural mores.
I have good friends that I've made as an adult, both through school and through working/traveling, but I sincerely doubt the bond will be as strong as what has been cultivated over a lifetime.
This post was edited on 9/21/18 at 5:25 pm
Posted on 9/21/18 at 5:22 pm to PurpleandGold Motown
i would agree. friends are useless as you get older. i do everything on my own. my mom, my dad, brothers, sister, my dog and pizza are my best friends. frick everyone else.
eta: i also lived in a new state every 2 years until college. i went to 3 different high schools. impossible to make long lasting friendships. i’ve been a loner since i was a kid.
eta: i also lived in a new state every 2 years until college. i went to 3 different high schools. impossible to make long lasting friendships. i’ve been a loner since i was a kid.
This post was edited on 9/21/18 at 5:23 pm
Posted on 9/21/18 at 5:22 pm to LSUgirl4
You're gonna die alone
Posted on 9/21/18 at 5:23 pm to Rouge
everyone dies alone.
Posted on 9/21/18 at 5:25 pm to LSUgirl4
quote:unless it's a plane crash
everyone dies alone
Posted on 9/21/18 at 5:25 pm to subotic
I agree. It's not that simple. Some of my childhood, teen, college friends are still kind of like 1st cousins. I can go years without seeing them and you can just pick right up. Some for whatever or various reasons just turn me off and it wouldn't bother me if I never see them again and some of these were serious running buddies.
Posted on 9/21/18 at 5:29 pm to PurpleandGold Motown
Loss of innocence. We start being more aware of the dark side of everything. Happened when those boys found the body that they set out to find. Going into it, they looked at it as more of a mythical legend. Reality sets in when they find it.
Posted on 9/21/18 at 5:30 pm to LSUgirl4
I'm friendly with some and friends with very few
Page 1 of 3
Back to top
Follow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News