re: Cats are shitty pets. If you’re a MAN who likes cats, take a look in the mirror.

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Which I am. Every cat I talk to is a bitch.

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You should be able to relate perfectly, then.

My cats would be worth more in a missing reward than you would have been as a child

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Cats are pretty clean. The groom themselves constantly, so you don’t need to “bathe” a cat

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And then they yack up all the grime they licked off themselves onto your rug, sofa, bed, wherever they damn well please.

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I do anal (with girls) on the first date, always.

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This doesn't happen.

I’ve met some cool cats that are social and affectionate. I love dogs that aren’t hyper as shite and well behaved.
Just have to train them or make sure you know the personality of an animal before going all in.

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This doesn't happen.

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It does. I’ve taken at least 50 anal virginities.

Screw you. I love my cat. Love my 3 dogs too.

I had an outside cat once that was pretty cool. He was actually affectionate and was a GD killing machine. He killed countless chipmunks, field mice, a baby possum, a a baby rabbit, lizards, etc. He loved to display them for me. He was a hassle free pet too. All I had to do was feed and water him. With that said, I would not have one of those filthy things shitting and pissing in a box in my house.