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Message
re: Borderline Personality Disorder
Posted on 12/17/18 at 10:10 am to Cdawg
Posted on 12/17/18 at 10:10 am to Cdawg
quote:
So you basically have to retrain their brain. Good luck.
I don’t think you can do anything. They have to do it themselves. They have to recognize their problems, and do the agonizing work to change.
But I agree. Medicine doesn’t help.
It’s all in her head.
-
I fell in love with one once. Best, and worst, relationship I’ve ever had.
This post was edited on 12/17/18 at 10:11 am
1
Posted on 12/17/18 at 10:18 am to ashy larry
quote:
To the OP... run. Run or get used to walking on eggshells. Borderline Personality Disorder is no joke. She will always be the victim even in situations that don't affect her. Her friends got into a fight? She's the victim. That is assuming she has friends bc everyone will probably be tired of her shite. She will love herself one minute and hate herself the next. Everything is black/white and you wrong for what you said even if you meant something else. Everything they experience is to an extreme. Best/worst of everything. Run.
I agree with this. But also throw in over-dramatization of about everything and impulsive behavior. For example, get in a simple fight with husband(for reason mentioned in the quote), move out and sign a 1 year lease for an apartment all within an 8 hour window. After a day or two of moving furniture realizes it wasn't a good decision and moves back home. That's BPD.
Posted on 12/17/18 at 10:21 am to Lima Whiskey
quote:
I don’t think you can do anything. They have to do it themselves. They have to recognize their problems, and do the agonizing work to change.
You are correct. My wording was off. They have to be trained to recognize it and change it.
This post was edited on 12/17/18 at 10:21 am
Posted on 12/17/18 at 10:28 am to touchdownjeebus
quote:
My ex wife has some serious issues, one of which I believe is BPD. When she was dialed in, she could take over a room with her charm. When she wasn’t, it was fricking miserable. The best advice given is to remove yourself from the situation. Be nice, be cordial, but definitely GTF!
Same as with crazy girl! She could charm a fricking snake. But when she was off her meds, it was like the most miserable thing you'd see. Perfect example, we went to a school function for our kids and her camera didn't work. You'd have thought the world was coming to an end.
Posted on 12/17/18 at 10:37 am to Cdawg
I think some of you are confusing borderline personality disorder with bipolar disorder. They are 2 distinct conditions.
Bipolar disorder is a neuro-chemically caused condition which can be treated by medication. Borderline personality disorder belongs to the group of psychological disorders known as personality disorders. They are sinnamed because they are so ingrained in an individual that the disorder is part of their personality, or the core of who they are. Tondate, no chemical cause has been identified and there is no medication that will help. The only thing that really has been demonstrated to help is an intensive type of cognitive behavioral therapy known as dialectical behavioral therapy.
Now, many people with borderline personality disorder also are on medication for a co-occurring disorder. So while someone with borderline personality disorder may be on medication which helps them, the medication is helping the other disorder and not the borderline.
Bipolar disorder is a neuro-chemically caused condition which can be treated by medication. Borderline personality disorder belongs to the group of psychological disorders known as personality disorders. They are sinnamed because they are so ingrained in an individual that the disorder is part of their personality, or the core of who they are. Tondate, no chemical cause has been identified and there is no medication that will help. The only thing that really has been demonstrated to help is an intensive type of cognitive behavioral therapy known as dialectical behavioral therapy.
Now, many people with borderline personality disorder also are on medication for a co-occurring disorder. So while someone with borderline personality disorder may be on medication which helps them, the medication is helping the other disorder and not the borderline.
Posted on 12/17/18 at 10:41 am to STLDawg
Ya I have no idea why people are saying meds fix personality disorders.
That shite has no cure
That shite has no cure
Posted on 12/17/18 at 10:41 am to BR Tiger
Good post BR
Posted on 12/17/18 at 10:43 am to Geekboy
Never dated a chick with it but fricked a chick with it. Sex was amazing. She was a natural red head too. 
Posted on 12/17/18 at 10:48 am to BR Tiger
Dbt was very helpful for me. It takes a year, but I’m free of any symptoms now
It takes a special person to date someone with the disorder. It is typically caused by abuse and neglect in childhood.
Two important features are the core issue of abandonment and that of never being heard as a child
So you can avoid a good bit of problems by always answering her texts or calls and generally not avoiding her or disappearing.
You also need to be good at validating her feelings. Even if you have a different view of the situation, tell them you understand where they’re coming from. That’s actually what almost all women need
It takes a special person to date someone with the disorder. It is typically caused by abuse and neglect in childhood.
Two important features are the core issue of abandonment and that of never being heard as a child
So you can avoid a good bit of problems by always answering her texts or calls and generally not avoiding her or disappearing.
You also need to be good at validating her feelings. Even if you have a different view of the situation, tell them you understand where they’re coming from. That’s actually what almost all women need
Posted on 12/17/18 at 11:44 am to Geekboy
Yes. It was miserable. Run away as fast as you can and hope she doesn’t come after you.
Splitting is a real thing. She would tell me how I was her everything and she couldn’t live without me and then damn near the same breath tell me how I’m the lowest piece of shite there is and how everyone is going to know that I’m scum, abusive, etc etc. Her fear of abandonment and constant drama were a large part of the relationship. They need psychiatric therapy big time but never go because they don’t think they have a problem. Best for your buddy to move on.
And yes, you will always be walking on eggshells. One of the main books on borderline is “stop waking on eggshells.” The other is “I hate you, don’t leave me.” Both are perfectly titled.
Splitting is a real thing. She would tell me how I was her everything and she couldn’t live without me and then damn near the same breath tell me how I’m the lowest piece of shite there is and how everyone is going to know that I’m scum, abusive, etc etc. Her fear of abandonment and constant drama were a large part of the relationship. They need psychiatric therapy big time but never go because they don’t think they have a problem. Best for your buddy to move on.
And yes, you will always be walking on eggshells. One of the main books on borderline is “stop waking on eggshells.” The other is “I hate you, don’t leave me.” Both are perfectly titled.
This post was edited on 12/17/18 at 12:00 pm
Posted on 12/17/18 at 12:03 pm to Paige
quote:
Paige
Good write-up.
quote:
You also need to be good at validating her feelings. Even if you have a different view of the situation, tell them you understand where they’re coming from. That’s actually what almost all women need
^Truth. When I was with T (crazy girl) for that year I found that doing just that helped her tremendously. At times she went off her meds - and told me that I helped her enough that she didn't feel the need to take them. Then, one day something happened that sent her spiraling out of control.
She seemed like two different people...when she was on, she was on big time. But when she went off, it was very painful to watch. She would go to the lowest extremes. Lash out. Blame everyone and everyone was against her. As I said about the picture incident, she went off in the woe is me spiel.
She's as nice as can be. But also a lying snake. She could also be described as being histrionic. And she uses people to such extremes that her friend circle is almost non-existent.
This post was edited on 12/17/18 at 12:06 pm
Posted on 12/17/18 at 12:22 pm to Spaceman Spiff
quote:
She could also be described as being histrionic.
I think many could be either one. They're both close to the same behavior IMO. Well at least those two are when compared to Narcissism or Anti-social.
Posted on 12/17/18 at 12:26 pm to Geekboy
quote:
Anyone ever been in a relationship with someone that had this and if so what was it like? Asking for a friend.
great sex, endless nudes, but you'll end up having to call the cops on her after you get tired of it.
Posted on 12/17/18 at 12:28 pm to YumYum Sauce
quote:
great sex, endless nudes
The sex was off the charts. 1,000 + nudes of this one. Just sayin
This post was edited on 12/17/18 at 12:29 pm
Posted on 12/17/18 at 12:29 pm to Cdawg
quote:
move out and sign a 1 year lease for an apartment all within an 8 hour window. After a day or two of moving furniture realizes it wasn't a good decision and moves back home. That's BPD.
This legit happened.
Posted on 12/17/18 at 12:35 pm to Geekboy
The are very few times that I'll mention that I'm a criminal defense attorney outside of threads that pertain to the law, but trust me on this one: there are some diagnosed mental illnesses that are manageable long term. In my experience of not only dealing with clients, but also dealing with their close circle of people, without years of intensive behavioral therapy, Borderlines aren't manageable. Period.
Run. The frick. Away. Now.
There is nothing in this world that makes them worth it. If you want mind bending fricked up sex, go hire an expensive escort. I promise it will be cheaper in the long run.
Run. The frick. Away. Now.
There is nothing in this world that makes them worth it. If you want mind bending fricked up sex, go hire an expensive escort. I promise it will be cheaper in the long run.
Posted on 12/17/18 at 12:44 pm to Paige
Close relative of mine has it bad enough to where she can't even hold down a job. Evidently being late to work, no matter what time it starts, is a medical condition. Most of her problems are her taking real situations, and altering them to form some untrue version that becomes reality. She is incredibly manipulative of people as well, and can go weeks without leaving her house, then be fine for a couple of days, then back to staying at home for weeks. Most of the family has given up, ignores her, and just let's her do whatever she wants (usually sleeping 20+ hours a day). She can be violent and screaming, and if someone walks in the room, she'll immediately change into a different person and, in her mind, the whole episode never happened.
It's sort of like being intensely bi-polar and schizo at the same time. Best to just steer clear of it all, and don't let any of your life touch it
It's sort of like being intensely bi-polar and schizo at the same time. Best to just steer clear of it all, and don't let any of your life touch it
This post was edited on 12/17/18 at 12:46 pm
Posted on 12/17/18 at 1:02 pm to Joshjrn
quote:
There is nothing in this world that makes them worth it. If you want mind bending fricked up sex, go hire an expensive escort. I promise it will be cheaper in the long run.
Truth.
Posted on 12/17/18 at 1:05 pm to Hammertime
quote:
where she can't even hold down a job. Evidently being late to work, no matter what time it starts, is a medical condition. Most of her problems are her taking real situations, and altering them to form some untrue version that becomes reality
This. She can't hold down a job. Now, she's living with this dude and admittedly using him for his money/insurance only.
quote:
She is incredibly manipulative of people as well
This one is the most manipulative person I've ever seen.
quote:
She can be violent and screaming, and if someone walks in the room, she'll immediately change into a different person and, in her mind, the whole episode never happened.
Bingo. On target.
Posted on 12/17/18 at 2:16 pm to Geekboy
I recommend the book, Walking on Eggshells. It will be very helpful and insightful.
My daughter has it. My mother has it. Contrary to what Paige has said, this disease is genetic and it manifests itself in women 90% of the time. My daughter has it from my mother who had it from her mother.
My daughter has it. My mother has it. Contrary to what Paige has said, this disease is genetic and it manifests itself in women 90% of the time. My daughter has it from my mother who had it from her mother.
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