re: Biggest Jerk move you have ever made

Back in my drinking days I did a lot of dickish stuff. I posted about this before, but I think it is appropriate in this thread. I was in my early 30s (well before I cared for animals):

I had just finished a 3 day jury trial and decided to go to Georgetown rather than back to the office. I was having a few drinks and saw a woman (mid 30s) sitting at the end of the bar looking as though she had just lost her best friend. I had the bartender send her down a drink and she came over to speak with me. I asked her what was wrong and she said that she had just put her 12 year old dog down.

Well, that’s all I needed to hear. I was not an animal lover then (although, I do love dogs now). I started spinning a yarn about how I had to put my (imaginary) dog down. I made up this story about how I had this “dog” for years; how it gave me unconditional love; how it brought me my slippers and the paper, etc. I went on for about 20 minutes.

She said, “He got too old and sick and you had to put him down?” I said:

“No, I was going on vacation and didn’t want to pay to have it boarded.”

She screamed and walked away from me.

I still feel bad about the event and the fact that I still chuckle a bit when I think of the story.

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Great thread

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Agreed. I have nothing interesting to add to it, but I am rolling here reading some of the contributions.

Uncle Elihu Smails?

Is dat you?

Cheers old boy, hope you're keeping well.

You're one of the best things about this website.

Keep on being you, we (collectively) might not deserve your sanity, grace and charm, but we certainly here need it.

You make me blush. I am doing well. If I knew that I was going to live this long I'd have taken better care of myself.

An old school friend of mine called me one day to reconnect and said he really wanted me to come to his wedding the following month. I agreed but didn't end up going. Just didn't want to go. Never talked to him again. Felt bad afterwards because he really was a nice guy.

15 years ago some douchey Corvette driver had double parked at Copelands. I casually pulled the Corvette emblem off the hood and put it on one of my shelves.

Once back in college this girl said that we could only have the sex if we were dating so one drunken night I agreed to date her then the next morning after the deed was done I broke up with her but not before she had changed her status on Facebook and her mom and sister had both friend requested me. I was talking to a another girl at the time so I didn't feel bad but now that it's been a few years I feel bad for the poor girl. Think she's married now

From when I was in high school...

Two lanes of traffic were merging. I was in the right lane, the left lane had to merge right. Both lanes moving the same speed, not very fast at all - around 5mph. The lady to my left rolled her window down and asked if she could merge in. I had my window down and said no, with a big smile on my face. Thinking she misheard me, she asked again. I again said no with a smile on my face. She fricking lost it. Cursing at me, demanding that I let her in. All the while me and her teenage daughter in the passenger seat were cracking up.

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In HS a guy's parents were out of town so he had a part

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I had a group of friends I went out, all the time, with in HS.. For some reason we decided that when we would go to parties at people's houses we would steal their family portraits.. Then we got to the point where we would see who could steal the most random things..

Since I had a big van with a lift in it with a bunch of space in the middle, everyone would go put whatever they stole in the van. We would leave from parties with pot plants, people's mother's underwear.. One time someone stole someone's dad's work boot.. Not boots, just one. I think someone stole all the soap in someone's house one time.