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re: Biggest foot in mouth moment you've had
Posted on 9/13/18 at 8:29 pm to djangochained
Posted on 9/13/18 at 8:29 pm to djangochained
Was at a wedding and saw an old friend. Start talking to him and his wife and she looked like she was in her 3rd trimester. I'm like "congratulations!" She was like I'm no pregnant. Wanted to crawl into a hole.
Another time in the ER, another nurse is getting info from a patient who is a bilateral amputee above the knees. She asks him "sir how tall are you?" He shrugged his shoulders and we all laughed. She got super embarrassed and walked out the room.
Another time in the ER, another nurse is getting info from a patient who is a bilateral amputee above the knees. She asks him "sir how tall are you?" He shrugged his shoulders and we all laughed. She got super embarrassed and walked out the room.
0
Posted on 9/13/18 at 8:37 pm to Polycarp
quote:
and she was so fine he would s*** her dad’s d***
do people actually say that where you live or was he inspired?
Posted on 9/13/18 at 8:39 pm to Hawgnsincebirth55
Not me but back when I was in college I was taking an animal science class in the AG School and the subject was artificial insemination. The professor was talking about the sodium content of semen. Some girl in class blurted out “ oh that’s why it tastes so salty!” Everyone in class looked at her and she just dropped her head onto her desk.
Posted on 9/13/18 at 8:41 pm to Hawgnsincebirth55
playing golf one day and the group in front of us had a guy with one arm. He was pretty good too and smashed the ball with one arm. we caught up with them at a tee box and one of my friends asked him what was his handicap.
Posted on 9/13/18 at 8:54 pm to Hawgnsincebirth55
Saw a casual friend and went up to him and enthusiastically asked how his new baby boy was. He replied that the baby died a couple of weeks ago from sudden infant death. I will never forget the tone of his voice nor the look on his face.
Posted on 9/13/18 at 8:56 pm to CelticDog
Rednecks in TX,
Posted on 9/13/18 at 9:00 pm to Hawgnsincebirth55
Came home one night after celebrating our friends 30th birthday. Saw a bunch of cars at my next door neighbors and his kids, early 20's, and friends on the front porch.
I assume they were having a party so I go inside and grab some beer to take over to them.
I go "Hey I saw you guys having a party so I figured I'd bring you some beer!"
They go "well it's not a party. Our mom and grandmother died in a car wreck this evening"
Yeah....that was awkward.
I assume they were having a party so I go inside and grab some beer to take over to them.
I go "Hey I saw you guys having a party so I figured I'd bring you some beer!"
They go "well it's not a party. Our mom and grandmother died in a car wreck this evening"
Yeah....that was awkward.
This post was edited on 9/13/18 at 9:01 pm
Posted on 9/13/18 at 9:29 pm to YNWA
Just bought a house and a bunch of friends on there way to Florida stopped by. We have a bathroom right off of the kitchen and one of the friends uses the bathroom. While the friend is coming out another guy says," It looks like Joe came out of the closet."
Everyone new he was gay but he hadn't come out yet so it was a little awkward.
Everyone new he was gay but he hadn't come out yet so it was a little awkward.
Posted on 9/13/18 at 9:37 pm to Athis
quote:
Not me but my Dad..Asked a women when was the baby due..She answered that she had the baby two weeks ago.
Are you my son? I did basically the same thing,but it had been several months.
Sad thing is the girl I said it to was attractive in high school.
Posted on 9/13/18 at 9:39 pm to YNWA
Omg that’s horrible. I’m going to hell for laughing.
This post was edited on 9/13/18 at 9:40 pm
Posted on 9/13/18 at 9:45 pm to Tester1216
When I was working in Ruston (home of the LA school for the blind) one of my employees asked me to come look at an error on his computer. I had to look really close to read the error message so I said "man I'm blind today". A really soft voice says "me too". I look up and his customers were 2 young blind women. I apologized and gave them a discount 
Posted on 9/13/18 at 9:45 pm to Tester1216
Early 90’s LSU Kentucky game in tiger stadium. Mike archer was dc for Kentucky. Drunken sportwood had seats right by southeast tunnel where opposing team comes out. Way before game time a coach looking guy from Kentucky walked a very attractive blonde lady in front of us. For some reason I start telling him how horrible mike archer was and that he destroyed our program. Called him a bum, etc. the guy calmly says “I’d like you to meet mrs Archer”. Literally ran.
Posted on 9/13/18 at 10:21 pm to YNWA
quote:this has been on the internet forever
Came home one night after celebrating our friends 30th birthday. Saw a bunch of cars at my next door neighbors and his kids, early 20's, and friends on the front porch.
I assume they were having a party so I go inside and grab some beer to take over to them.
I go "Hey I saw you guys having a party so I figured I'd bring you some beer!"
They go "well it's not a party. Our mom and grandmother died in a car wreck this evening"
Yeah....that was awkward.
Posted on 9/13/18 at 10:26 pm to Hawgnsincebirth55
Encountered a high talker on the phone a few weeks ago. Kept calling him."ma'am" until he corrected me.
Posted on 9/13/18 at 11:00 pm to Hawgnsincebirth55
Sure I'm not the only person to ever do this, but in college I was with some buds drinking and a relatively good friend made a jab at me. I rebounded with the typical lazy "your mom didn't (fill in the blank) last night" type of joke. Hadn't got it all the way out my mouth before I remembered his mom had passed away fairly recently. I wanted to dive out the window.
Posted on 9/13/18 at 11:08 pm to Hawgnsincebirth55
Standing in the checkout line in August. I told the woman behind me that she chose the wrong time of year to get pregnant. She replied that she wasn't pregnant and if I had three kids I'd have weight issues too. I felt awful.
I saw her again a couple of years later and she had gotten skinny as a rail.
I saw her again a couple of years later and she had gotten skinny as a rail.
Posted on 9/13/18 at 11:38 pm to bencoleman
I have another one. I used to rent a house with a friend. We had some guys that worked with us rent the house right next to us, so quite often I'd walk over and drink beer with them. Their other roommate that I didn't really know all that well had a friend and his girlfriend visiting. As we're sitting around drinking, the topic of Bruno Magli shoes somehow comes up. Someone says the only people he knew of that wore those shoes were OJ Simpson and Edwin Edwards. I went on a tangent about them both being repugnant criminals and what a piece of shite Edwin was and far back he set our state. At the end of my little rant, the girl speaks up that Edwin is her grandfather. Ooops!
Posted on 9/14/18 at 12:12 am to bencoleman
I came home from a long day of work and a family friend was over. She asked me how my day was, and I formed my hand into a gun and put it to my temple... my fingertip touched my temple as I remembered her teenage son shot himself. It was one of the worst feelings I’ve had in my life. I quickly removed my hand and I pretend she never noticed.
I’ve never put my hand to my head like that since.
—-
Different time;Same person who lost her son to suicide is present along with her husband...
But not me talking, I’m just sitting in on the conversation. Family is around and my aunt starts talking about how someone has to clean up all the brains and guts after someone kills themselves. She goes on and on and on about blood and guts and suicide in general. The whole family was cringing. Eventually, the dad of the dead kid says “The brains weren’t as hard to clean up as the blood and vomit out of the sink after *mom* threw up everyday for 2 years straight”
Once again, one of the worst feelings of my life.
I’ve never put my hand to my head like that since.
—-
Different time;Same person who lost her son to suicide is present along with her husband...
But not me talking, I’m just sitting in on the conversation. Family is around and my aunt starts talking about how someone has to clean up all the brains and guts after someone kills themselves. She goes on and on and on about blood and guts and suicide in general. The whole family was cringing. Eventually, the dad of the dead kid says “The brains weren’t as hard to clean up as the blood and vomit out of the sink after *mom* threw up everyday for 2 years straight”
Once again, one of the worst feelings of my life.
This post was edited on 9/14/18 at 12:14 am
Posted on 9/14/18 at 12:16 am to emboslice
quote:
But not me talking, I’m just sitting in on the conversation. Family is around and my aunt starts talking about how someone has to clean up all the brains and guts after someone kills themselves. She goes on and on and on about blood and guts and suicide in general. The whole family was cringing. Eventually, the dad of the dead kid says “The brains weren’t as hard to clean up as the blood and vomit out of the sink after *mom* threw up everyday for 2 years straight”
Damn.
Posted on 9/14/18 at 12:17 am to baylorbaiter
I mean how stupid are you?
People don't go to that shite for fun, high chance they were related to someone competing
People don't go to that shite for fun, high chance they were related to someone competing
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