re: Best way to deal with theft from work fridge

Warning TL;DR

I was working a turn around when this happened to me.

I'd buy three cokes for a break and my lunch everyday. I'd put my lunch and drinks in a sack in the tool trailer fridge. Afer a short while two of the cokes would disappear. The thief left me with one everyday.

Over time I went from oh well, to aggravated, to angry. What could i do.

When I had enough I marked the bottom of two of the cokes. I then rubbed them all over my balls and taint. I put them towards the front of my sack with the clean drink to the back and deposited the whole sack in the fridge.

Lunch came and booyah! The thief not only struck, but also took the solid drinks, leaving me my clean can. What a great day! But what do I do with my information. My scheme was a success but how do I proceed. I spent the rest of the day smiling like a goof wi my dirty secret.

The next morning I sat in the back of the lunch tent for the safety meeting. There were approximately one hundred people in the tent along with fans. The meeting always concluded with the safety man asking if anyone had anything. Just as always he asked and I rose my hand.

Now everyone was looking at me and I had a case of nerves. This was a big job and multiple supervisors were in the tent. I had to go for it so I said:
"Everyday I buy three cokes. Everyday someone steals two of them. Yesterday I rubbed them on my balls and whoever stole them drank my balls."

The safety man closest to me looked shocked. Only about one fourth of the folks in the tent heard me. I thought I was in the shite big time. Then the safety man closest to me told me to get on the table and say it loud and proud.

I jumped up on the table and screamed as loud as I could:
"Everyday I buy three cokes! Everyday someone steals two of them! Yesterday I rubbed them on my balls and taint! I hope you like what my nuts taste like!"

The tent erupted in laughter and cheers. I scanned the area and noticed the general foreman and one of the foremen had a disgusted look on their face.

I was vindicated! I got plenty of pats in the back and nice words the next week. I also got every shite job available for the next week. It was all worth it....

Habanero pepper around the top of the can is the best idea IMO.

Don't go the bodily fluid route.

Find a bottle of something like this and drop onto the lid of the can and around where someone would put their mouth.

Link to Ghost Pepper Oil Stuff

I can't stand a thief.

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Haribo sugarless gummi bears. Check out the reviews on amazon.

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LINK

Put a severed horse head in the thief's bed.

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A case of Coke in office refrigerator? Is there room for anyone's lunch besides yours? Keep your case at home and only bring what you need each day.

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Or put it in your cube and use a glass with some ice.

Habanero is weak

Rub "The Source" on the can.

Hi BigSquirrel-

I'm producing a new science series for a national network and one of our segments tackles the problem of office fridge thieves. It sounds like your office has this problem and we'd love to fix it. What company do you work for and where is it located? You can reach me at tigresscasting@gmail.com.

Thanks!

Lea

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Thanks!

Lea

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Post pics/website so we know you are legit...


ETA: Nvm, I found em


ETA2: whats up

ETA3: I think she's legit, OP should do this

Burn down the building and find another job. At my office we have a fridge that stays stocked with drinks and snacks in the kitchen for everyone.