re: Bachelor (or Bachelorette) Parties

The whole concept is strange to me.

If you’re getting married then obviously you’re not single. So how is fricking a stripper at the party ok?

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Cabo + Pedregal villa, thank me later.

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Did you come on mine?

the one I went on was in 2016. Haven’t been back since which is probably a blessing but actually going back for a wedding this November. Won’t quite be the same but looking forward to getting back out there. No bachelor parties have really been as insane as that one though, there was a great story each night from a different group. Had to have been about 15-16 of us total. I had one in Miami two weeks later in South Beach and that’s about as close as I’ve felt to dying recovering from those two in 3 weeks.

I've told this story before, but this was at my bachelor party back in 2004:

As a young lad, I was a huge fan of The Crow. I had read the comic and was obsessed with the movie when it came out. I had a Crow poster on my wall, and a few Crow t-shirts. I bought the movie on VHS when it came out and would watch it often.

Many years later it was my bachelor party and we wound up at Visions - as bachelor parties often do.

Visions has a thing where you can pay to have someone pulled on stage by the strippers, and they pull your clothes off and basically beat the shite out of you.

My friends did that to me. I was so drunk that I didn't care.

After being beaten by a bunch of strippers, they pulled me back stage so I can put my clothes back on. The girls all signed a Visions shirt. But signed it with their stripper names like "Sparkle" and "Gem Stone' or whatever it is strippers call themselves.

One of the girls, who had a goth theme going on, signed the shirt "True Love Always, Shelly Webster." Shelly Webster was the girlfriend of Eric in The Crow movie, for those who don't know. Her brutal murder is why he came back from the dead for revenge.

She said "You probably don't even know who Shelly Webster is."

As drunk as I was, I looked her dead in the eye and said "Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children."

She basically melted on the spot. I'm pretty sure I could have taken her home that night.

I used to work with mostly women at my last job. Bachelor parties are VERY tame in comparison to bachelorette parties from what I've been told.

Went to my buddies at a local, nasty strip joint when I was 25 or so and still single at the time but was with my eventual wife. Everybody was hammered including myself, went to a “private showing” with about 5 other random dudes. One tried to pick a fight with the groom because he was “hitting on his girl” so the threw all of us out instead of just the “boyfriend”. He slashed my buddy’s tire and we spent the next 45 minutes trying to put on a spare tire in the dark and drunk. We had all sobered up pretty well by the time we got the tire on and went back around 12:30 am or so. The stripper who gave us a private show earlier felt bad and asked us to give her a ride home. The whole ride there she made out with a groomsman and we all waited in the car while he slept with her at what looked like an abandoned gas station from the outside. He spent the next year or so worrying about whether or not he had HIV lol

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This is the correct answer. But gotta be careful these days to make sure the good stuff isn't cut with fentanyl.