re: Bachelor Nation: 70% of Men Aged 20-34 Are Not Married

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Why can no one shut their damn mouths when a man says "I don't want to be tied down by a wife and kids?" Is it because it rings a little too uncomfortably true to many people? Is it because no one might possibly want to live their lives different from your own?

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Because if too many men follow this lower part of their nature, society will fall apart, or at least will dramatically change in what we can assume will be a negative way.
When men abandon their traditional roles, they either won't have kids (society will die a slow painful death) or they will neglect their kids (in aggregate and in comparison to traditional fathers) and fail to protect the weaker sex as we've seen in inner city communities over the last 50 years.
Obviously that won't happen because you or any other one man doesn't "settle down". We should think about these things in aggregate and not in isolation.

"Telling it like it is" isn't a traditional male way. An intelligent person knows when it's best to keep his thoughts to himself.

it's that liberal arts education

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What constitutes interesting for people?

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Interesting is in the eye of the behoulder, but it generally refers to women who have hobbies and interests that differ from typical female stereotypes.

I.e., women who don't just care about shopping, selfies, cute things on pintrest, celebrity gossip, how that b&%ch Becca in accounting is soooooo fake like omg, pop culture, ect.

For some guys, "interesting" may be she enjoys and gets competitive at Call of Duty.

For others, it may be a sincere enjoyment, interest in, and knowledge of sports.

Maybe it's a passion for hiking, camping, boating, ect.


I think the issue lies in that men actually do want women to conform to a stereotype...in their appearance, but want women to differentiate themselves via their personalities. In a dude's world, every woman would look like a really fit version of Kate Upton, but they would all have different personalities, different interests, attitudes, ect.

Too often, women try to hide their own personalities behind a veil of what they expect men to want. In reality, men may often desire their women to match some type of standard, but they don't desire them to have a personality that came out of girlfriend catalog model 7b.

business, history, and political science

pretty much makes me a poli board savant

man, aren't you just a billy badass who doesn't take shite from anyone

you're so tough and honest

there is such a thing as tact and couth. try it sometime, you fricking neckbeard weirdo

you may even frick around and get your dick wet

Just like I said in my above post, I'm not gonna change who I am to make someone happy. Who I am is who I am, take it or leave it.

Now if I want to change, that's a different story.

Dats deep bro.

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When men abandon their traditional roles,

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I don't think men abandoned those roles. Those roles were eliminated. It's like wondering why there aren't more buggy whip manufacturers today.

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they either won't have kids

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Men don't have kids..........EVER. They rent them at the pleasure of the woman who they made them with. They are the woman's kids. She can, at any point, choose to move to Timbuktu with those kids and send you a bill while letting another man raise them.

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one thing i've found after trying to work on my public social skills (not limited to womenz) is that it is intoxicating

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I thought I was an introvert for a long time...but I've discovered I'm extremely extroverted. I just love talking and love listening. I find people's stories, at least when I first listen to them, extremely interesting. One great thing about teaching was that you had a constant rotation of stories. I don't care about being the center of attention or the alpha male so much as I'm interested in people. This interest seems to be called flirting when it is with attractive women, but for me it extends to all people.

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i'm not 100% behind interesting. it's great and all, but it often comes from crazy or fricked up pasts that leave unfixable scars

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Most people are boring. They have the same small interests which they think are unique but are also ubiquitous. By that very fact they aren't interesting. At the same time you might catch them in a specific mood where they don't have the energy for conversation.

I think the most "interesting" people I've ever met were the ones who were able to express a wide range of emotions in conversation without being overbearing. I've met a couple of people who were so practiced in the art of story telling that they enthralled everyone they were around, but once you spent enough time around them, you realized they just told the same stories to different people.

For relationships, interesting is important at the beginning but values are more important. And by values I mean to encompass a very broad idea that the word "values" doesn't really encapsulate. It's not necessarily a worldview, but it sort of is. It's about how they see the world and how they appropriate new information in that world. How they respond to tiny adversity. How they respond to what you value.

A big problem for me is that if I date women too young, it feels like I'm teaching them things, influencing their world view when it's not my place. I'm not responsible for their education, and I don't want my mostly cynical, negative worldview to influence their own. At the same time older women near or past 30 are so jaded that it's hard to become close to them. At least the ones I've met. They expect you are there for one thing, the sex, and not because the sex is an extension of how you feel about the connection that exists. It makes things awkward, and things usually don't end well.

We live in wild times in the dating world, and we have to realize that no one knows what they hell they are doing. Everyone is trying to rationalize their biology, and when that enters a complicated legal situation like marriage, I can see why many men and women choose to avoid it. Out of all my friends, I only know a handful (less than 5) that are married. Of my close friends, only one is married. There has to be a more sustainable solution than traditional marriage I think, that recognizes the world as it is rather than asking for the world to be the way it once was.