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re: ATL - Toddler Left in Car

Posted on 6/19/14 at 10:32 am to
Posted by Salmon
I helped draft the email
Member since Feb 2008
85115 posts
Posted on 6/19/14 at 10:32 am to
quote:

I'm just disagreeing with whoever it was that equated it to a household task.


you are completely and utterly lying to yourself if you do not think that some daily things involved with raising a child are not part of your daily "routine"

jesus

just be honest with yourself

we all love our children but stop pretending that your mind never wonders or you don't get distracted when you are with them
Posted by sicboy
Because Awesome
Member since Nov 2010
78658 posts
Posted on 6/19/14 at 10:34 am to
quote:

we all love our children but stop pretending that your mind never wonders or you don't get distracted when you are with them


Yes, I get distracted. But when it comes to leaving them at the house when I leave or in the car when I park, no, I don't get distracted (yet).
Posted by GRTiger
On a roof eating alligator pie
Member since Dec 2008
65931 posts
Posted on 6/19/14 at 10:36 am to
quote:

I'm just disagreeing with whoever it was that equated it to a household task.


That's the straw man I mentioned earlier. He wasn't literally comparing the alarm to your child. For frick's sake man, he was describing the uncontrollable brain activities that occur in every human being. The fact that this stuff is so rare tells you that most people have the ability to prioritize and keep focus on the most important thing in their life, but the fact that it happens to normal people should at least freak you out that all it takes is one uncontrollable brain function (like imagining you dropped your child off as part of a mental checklist) coupled with some outside variable like spilling hot coffee on your crouch, to throw everything out of wack. Again, I'm sure that happens every day and people still don't kill their kid, but it happens.

That's literally all that is being said.
Posted by Salmon
I helped draft the email
Member since Feb 2008
85115 posts
Posted on 6/19/14 at 10:36 am to
I would imagine those that say it could never happen to them do not drop their kids off at daycare daily? This kind of "routine" is not part of you daily activity, right?
Posted by GeauxTigerTM
Member since Sep 2006
30596 posts
Posted on 6/19/14 at 10:37 am to
quote:

What I find most interesting is that people are against the idea that a kid is part of a routine but support the steps such as a car baby monitor or stuffed animal.


I've never suggested they can not be part of a routine, and frankly I would have never had the need for either of those aids...but if it helps the absentminded not cook their kids then by all means.

We all have routines. Hell...if you've ever thought about it you probably dry yourself off in almost the exact same pattern ever time you get out of the shower. It's frightening just how beholden we are to stuff like that. But...you simply have to be able to focus on changes. Especially when the change is the safety of your own child.

Again...my kids are now past this point being 11 and 7. But...that does not mean I'm no longer on guard for other things. My job is to make sure they make it to adulthood. It really does take effort and, frankly, it would be a lot easier if I paid less attention. Others clearly do. But what I've found is that they seem to be the group from which we hear these stories about bad things happening. I can;t help but see the correlation.

Look...this is one of those parenting issues many can't really agree on. My in-laws think I'm overprotective. Of course, when we go to their house they almost never have any fricking clue where their kids are, and wonder why bad things happen to them routinely. For me, this isn't a mystery.
Posted by GRTiger
On a roof eating alligator pie
Member since Dec 2008
65931 posts
Posted on 6/19/14 at 10:41 am to
quote:

.but if it helps the absentminded not cook their kids then by all means.



I'm going to do all of those things. Not because I am absentminded in the slightest, it's because taking extra care to prevent anything from happening to my child is of the utmost importance.
Posted by sicboy
Because Awesome
Member since Nov 2010
78658 posts
Posted on 6/19/14 at 10:41 am to
Stuff around the house doesn't get done because of the baby, not the other way around. I'll come home and the wife will apologize for this or that not being done, but you're taking care of an infant. What are you going to do? That's our life now.
Posted by Swoopin
Member since Jun 2011
22041 posts
Posted on 6/19/14 at 10:41 am to
This scares the shite out of me and I'm not even married or with kids.

There are interesting readings on the dangers of routines on your consciousness. Especially in the morning when you wake up.

I'd imagine the great deal of these tragedies occur when the parent that doesn't usually drop the kid off has to take a turn. They're all very similar to this one.

Posted by euphemus
Member since Mar 2014
558 posts
Posted on 6/19/14 at 10:42 am to
One thing people could do to prevent this is to leave your cellphone on the back seat next to the kid before you start driving. Sad to say this, but you are bound to notice a missing cell phone sooner than you realize you forgot your infant in the car. This could almost be a fool proof method to prevent these tragedies from happening.
This post was edited on 6/19/14 at 10:48 am
Posted by GeauxTigerTM
Member since Sep 2006
30596 posts
Posted on 6/19/14 at 10:42 am to
quote:

I would imagine those that say it could never happen to them do not drop their kids off at daycare daily?


Nope...did that for a long time. After that, since I work from home, I kept each of the guys with me during the day as I ran errands until they went to kindergarten. We were in and out of the vehicle many times a day...many times to places that had had my attention.

Like I said earlier, this was such a part of what I did that to this day I still find myself looking in the back seat when I know down well I'm alone...and occasionally taking a quit look in the back to make sure no one is there when getting out of the vehicle.

All I can say is that the reason I seem so engrained in this position because, for me, this was never at all an issue. Maybe I am the outlier and I'm just wired differently. Maybe that level of expectation is unfair to place on others. I really don't know. But when I hear someone tell me I was "lucky" this kind of thing didn't happen to me, all I can do is shake my head. Luck never played a role at all.
Posted by KG6
Member since Aug 2009
10920 posts
Posted on 6/19/14 at 10:44 am to
I plan to tie yarn to the car seat and then to my wrist while driving when our little boy comes in September. This is a huge fear of mine.
Posted by Salmon
I helped draft the email
Member since Feb 2008
85115 posts
Posted on 6/19/14 at 10:44 am to
quote:

After that, since I work from home, I kept each of the guys with me during the day as I ran errands until they went to kindergarten. We were in and out of the vehicle many times a day...many times to places that had had my attention.


so your routine changed frequently? it wasn't the same exact everything, everyday, for years?
Posted by SmellslikeKevinBacon
Louisiana
Member since Dec 2012
6195 posts
Posted on 6/19/14 at 10:45 am to
If you can't remember that your child is in the car you are a shitty parent. Not once in my 7 years of being a dad have i forgotten that my child was with me. This guy should be punished for this.
Posted by Jcorye1
Tom Brady = GoAT
Member since Dec 2007
75031 posts
Posted on 6/19/14 at 10:45 am to
quote:

Actually it's very relevant. Passing judgement on parents when you're not one yourself makes a big difference.


This argument makes me want to punt kittens. I've never done heroin and then raped a woman, does that mean I cannot say they should be in jail?
Posted by Pettifogger
I don't really care, Margaret
Member since Feb 2012
83528 posts
Posted on 6/19/14 at 10:46 am to
quote:

One thing people could do to prevent this is to leave your cellphone on the back seat next to the kid before you start driving. Sad to say this, but you are bound to notice a missing cell phone sooner than you realize you left your infant in the car. This could almost be a fool proof method to prevent these tragedies from happening.



This is the OT. Just let your toddler hold your concealed carry weapon, that way you'll remember to take both of them out of the car.
Posted by GeauxTigerTM
Member since Sep 2006
30596 posts
Posted on 6/19/14 at 10:47 am to
quote:

I'm going to do all of those things. Not because I am absentminded in the slightest, it's because taking extra care to prevent anything from happening to my child is of the utmost importance.


Then I will tell you this will not be an issue for you.

As a parent, there are tons and TONS of things that can and do happen to our kids that fall completely outside of our control. It's staggering just how much you worry, and it's one of those things you simply do not understand until you're a parent. these are the things that can and will keep you up at might.

It's precisely because of those things that I make it a priority to NOT allow preventable things to harm them. If I can prevent a disaster by just paying more attention, then that can't possibly be time poorly spent.

I place this issue squarely in the totally and completely preventable category.
Posted by Swoopin
Member since Jun 2011
22041 posts
Posted on 6/19/14 at 10:48 am to
Shitty comparison.

There's not a single person in the world that wants to undo what happened more than that guy or that is beating himself up more than how he could have let it happen.

Not saying it wasn't his fault but it's a tragedy in the highest form for him.
Posted by GRTiger
On a roof eating alligator pie
Member since Dec 2008
65931 posts
Posted on 6/19/14 at 10:48 am to
quote:

There are interesting readings on the dangers of routines on your consciousness.



I almost missed a connection a few weeks ago. I fly in and out of Houston 99.9% of the time, but this time I was connecting in DC and going to New Orleans where my wife and child were staying with my mom while I traveled for work.

I get off the plane, go to the big board to check the gate, stroll over and wait to board. I decide to get my boarding pass printed because my phone was about to die. It took me and the gate agents about 3-5 minutes to realize that I was trying to get a boarding pass for the flight to Houston (left at the exact same time mine to NOLA). If I hadn't have gone to get my pas printed, I would have missed my flight.

That's never happened to me before in any capacity, but the change in routine and my mind somewhere else (my child who was in the city I was supposed to go to no less), and bam.

Again, I am not comparing this to my child in the literal sense. And I know some of you didn't want science brought up in here, but that shite happens, and it's crazy.
Posted by Jcorye1
Tom Brady = GoAT
Member since Dec 2007
75031 posts
Posted on 6/19/14 at 10:50 am to
I'm not debating this guy's situation, I just hate the shut up you don't have kids argument.
This post was edited on 6/19/14 at 10:51 am
Posted by sicboy
Because Awesome
Member since Nov 2010
78658 posts
Posted on 6/19/14 at 10:51 am to
Every parent is capable of doing this. I have bad memory problems at times and this would be so easy if I didn't make it a priority to be constantly aware of my little boy. This isn't anything special about me: I believe most all parents snap into this mode when they first see their child. Stories like this make me more cautious. They don't give me cause to pay myself on the back.
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