re: Are puns the lowest form of wit?

What kind of car does a sheep in a bathing suit drive?



A Lambikini

How do you know you’re at a gay BBQ?

The hotdogs taste like




shite!!

quote:

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What kind of car does a sheep in a bathing suit drive? A Lambikini

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Did you hear about the midget convict that escaped prison by hiding in a herd of sheep?


They say he’s on the lamb.

I love puns and the good ones take a good portion of wit to create. Not sure what rock you’ve been living under or if you even know what a pun is.



Here are the ones which really helped me understand and appreciate the thinking that goes into a good one:


1. Two vultures board an airplane; each is carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, “I’m sorry gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger.”

2. Two boll weevils grew up in the Deep South. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as: the lesser of two weevils.

3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once again that you: cant’ have our kayak and heat it, two.

4. A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.”

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why” they asked as they moved off? “Because he said, “I can’t stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.”

7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named “Ahmal.” The other goes to a family in Spain; they name his “Juan.” Years later Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, “They’re twins! If you’ve see Juan, you’ve seen Ahmal!”

Did you hear about the jewel thief with an eyepatch that had an apiary?


They say that booty is in the eye of the bee holder.

The Dahlia Lama walks into a pizza joint.

He says, “Make me one with everything!”

That son of a bitch Q was a riot, I tell you.

I told my doctor that I keep having weird dreams. One night I’m a teepee, the next night I’m a wigwam.

My doctor said not to worry, I was just too tense.

Q!

How does Moses make coffee?


Hebrews it.



Credit to GreyWhiskers from his OT thread a week or so ago. There's some other decent puns/jokes in that thread.
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