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Started By
Message
Anyone here had their marriage saved by counseling?
Posted on 12/3/18 at 9:25 pm
Posted on 12/3/18 at 9:25 pm
Either by religious or traditional counseling. Just curious to hear some success stories.
39
Posted on 12/3/18 at 9:26 pm to toosleaux
No
Posted on 12/3/18 at 9:27 pm to toosleaux
Saved no, helped yes.
Posted on 12/3/18 at 9:33 pm to toosleaux
I know a few. Helped is a better word than saved.
It’s not like it’s a magic wand. There’s work to be done.
It’s not like it’s a magic wand. There’s work to be done.
Posted on 12/3/18 at 9:33 pm to toosleaux
Posted on 12/3/18 at 9:33 pm to toosleaux
I’ve had a dj save my life before.
Does that count?
Does that count?
Posted on 12/3/18 at 9:37 pm to toosleaux
Didn't save marriage but helped me recognize problems within myself that led to a bad decision to marry.
Posted on 12/3/18 at 9:39 pm to BRgetthenet
With the words of a song?
Posted on 12/3/18 at 9:43 pm to toosleaux
We weren't seeking counseling, but I'll give you this story.
In 2005, after Katrina, my oldest son, who was 10 at the time, was terribly sick with complications from dialysis. He was hospitalized in Memphis, TN for about 5 months. My wife was living in the hospital room with him and I was in New Orleans working and tending as best I could to our other 2 kids who were younger than him.
To say the situation was stressed beyond words is an understatement. He nearly died 2-3 times. I traveled to Memphis every other week to be there as much as I could.
As the strain on our marriage grew, there was a "breaking point" that emerged. On the 5 hour drive to Memphis this time, I worked myself up: this was it. If I got to the room and she started in on the same shite, I was done. Period. Divorce.
I had reached the breaking point and had spent the last few days going over the things that had to take place if(when) we split. Just the methodical stuff... living arrangements, work, visitations, etc.. it was a REAL bad time.
So I get to the hospital and go to the room.. it's about 5pm. We exchange pleasantries and I spend some time with my son as he's in and out of sleep.
And then it starts... whatever meaningless bullshite it was that was killing us started and that's it. I'm done. I can't go any longer. I don't care how much of a loser and non-man I am anymore, we are over. I am LITERALLY 3 minutes away from saying we're done and walking out the door.
And then.. .. .. .. my Uncle walks in the room.
My Uncle, who we haven't seen in over a year. Who we haven't talked to in at least 8-9 months. He WALKS THROUGH THE HOSPITAL ROOM DOOR UNANNOUNCED.
He lived in Kentucky.
And was on vacation with his family in South Carolina.
And had gotten in his car and driven 9 hours... not because he had been in touch with anyone in our family about us...
...but because he felt it was what God wanted him to do. He prayed for us often and didn't know why, but he knew he was supposed to get in his car and drive an 18 hour round trip and he obeyed.
He was there for maybe 15-20 minutes tops.
It saved our marriage.
ETA: if you need help, please don't hesitate to reach out. If nothing else, I can listen. genejr at bayou d0t net
In 2005, after Katrina, my oldest son, who was 10 at the time, was terribly sick with complications from dialysis. He was hospitalized in Memphis, TN for about 5 months. My wife was living in the hospital room with him and I was in New Orleans working and tending as best I could to our other 2 kids who were younger than him.
To say the situation was stressed beyond words is an understatement. He nearly died 2-3 times. I traveled to Memphis every other week to be there as much as I could.
As the strain on our marriage grew, there was a "breaking point" that emerged. On the 5 hour drive to Memphis this time, I worked myself up: this was it. If I got to the room and she started in on the same shite, I was done. Period. Divorce.
I had reached the breaking point and had spent the last few days going over the things that had to take place if(when) we split. Just the methodical stuff... living arrangements, work, visitations, etc.. it was a REAL bad time.
So I get to the hospital and go to the room.. it's about 5pm. We exchange pleasantries and I spend some time with my son as he's in and out of sleep.
And then it starts... whatever meaningless bullshite it was that was killing us started and that's it. I'm done. I can't go any longer. I don't care how much of a loser and non-man I am anymore, we are over. I am LITERALLY 3 minutes away from saying we're done and walking out the door.
And then.. .. .. .. my Uncle walks in the room.
My Uncle, who we haven't seen in over a year. Who we haven't talked to in at least 8-9 months. He WALKS THROUGH THE HOSPITAL ROOM DOOR UNANNOUNCED.
He lived in Kentucky.
And was on vacation with his family in South Carolina.
And had gotten in his car and driven 9 hours... not because he had been in touch with anyone in our family about us...
...but because he felt it was what God wanted him to do. He prayed for us often and didn't know why, but he knew he was supposed to get in his car and drive an 18 hour round trip and he obeyed.
He was there for maybe 15-20 minutes tops.
It saved our marriage.
ETA: if you need help, please don't hesitate to reach out. If nothing else, I can listen. genejr at bayou d0t net
This post was edited on 12/3/18 at 9:48 pm
Posted on 12/3/18 at 9:44 pm to toosleaux
I'd be willing to bet that 80% of counseling just delays the inevitable.
However, I'd say it's worth a try.
However, I'd say it's worth a try.
Posted on 12/3/18 at 9:46 pm to Meauxjeaux
Great story!
Posted on 12/3/18 at 9:56 pm to toosleaux
It all depends on the counselor and the method.
I've been theough several rounds of traditional marriage counseling, and much of it didn't work. But hey, Imm still married. It took some other non-traditional things to turn it around.
I've been theough several rounds of traditional marriage counseling, and much of it didn't work. But hey, Imm still married. It took some other non-traditional things to turn it around.
Posted on 12/3/18 at 9:58 pm to toosleaux
I've been to couple's counseling and we're still married. Whoopee
Posted on 12/3/18 at 10:00 pm to toosleaux
Mumbo-jumbo psychobabble sucks.
Posted on 12/3/18 at 10:04 pm to toosleaux
Time to move on baw
Posted on 12/3/18 at 10:08 pm to toosleaux
Saved the marriage of a close friend.
They had been married for about 15 years, had two sons, good jobs, nice home, affluent couple. Her best friend was diagnosed with a cancer so once the women is moved home to die, the wife begins to taking care of her so the dying women's husband can continue working. Long story short, she winds up having an affair with the husband.
Her husband finds out and they begin going to counseling. He later told me that the first month was brutal. The counselor basically allowed his wife to talk and he had to sit there and take it. It got so bad one session that he called me to come pick him up after he left early.
Eventually, after allowing the wife to vent and talk the counselor turned the tables and began to let the husband have his say. The wife continued to see the man for several weeks before finally deciding to work on the marriage. They wound up having another child and have now been married 25 years.
They had been married for about 15 years, had two sons, good jobs, nice home, affluent couple. Her best friend was diagnosed with a cancer so once the women is moved home to die, the wife begins to taking care of her so the dying women's husband can continue working. Long story short, she winds up having an affair with the husband.
Her husband finds out and they begin going to counseling. He later told me that the first month was brutal. The counselor basically allowed his wife to talk and he had to sit there and take it. It got so bad one session that he called me to come pick him up after he left early.
Eventually, after allowing the wife to vent and talk the counselor turned the tables and began to let the husband have his say. The wife continued to see the man for several weeks before finally deciding to work on the marriage. They wound up having another child and have now been married 25 years.
Posted on 12/3/18 at 10:12 pm to toosleaux
The best thing that anyone can do when going through a crisis is to work on themselves first and foremost. You can’t fix anyone else when you’re broken.
Get yourself right physically, intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. This will help you deal with what’s to come, whatever that might be.
Some counselors are good. Some are not. You may find that a marriage workshop and support group offer more value than a counselor. With a counselor, you’re automatically put on the defensive against your spouse whether you realize it or it. In a workshop, it’s just the opposite.
Get yourself right physically, intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. This will help you deal with what’s to come, whatever that might be.
Some counselors are good. Some are not. You may find that a marriage workshop and support group offer more value than a counselor. With a counselor, you’re automatically put on the defensive against your spouse whether you realize it or it. In a workshop, it’s just the opposite.
Posted on 12/3/18 at 10:25 pm to geauxbrown
quote:
geauxbrown
After MeauxJeaux's story filled my heart, yours drained it dry. frick all of that.
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