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re: Anyone have a kid that just doesn’t care about school?

Posted on 1/30/23 at 4:11 pm to
Posted by Funky Tide 8
Bayou Chico
Member since Feb 2009
54902 posts
Posted on 1/30/23 at 4:11 pm to
quote:

GOT A JOB.


I feel like the biggest thing that changed the way I approached life was making my own money, and relying less and less on my parents, until I didn't rely on them at all. It was such a motivating and liberating factor once I got off the tit, and didn't look back. Was the catalyst in getting my shite together.
Posted by deeprig9
Unincorporated Ozora
Member since Sep 2012
70416 posts
Posted on 1/30/23 at 5:19 pm to
I was a C student all through elementary and middle school, then made straight A's and had AP classes and a 4.0 in high school, great ACT and SAT scores. Nothing in particular changed, I guess my mind and priorities matured at some point.

Hell, my wife was a drop-out, but got her shite together later in life and is now a doctor (the kind that performs surgery and can write prescriptions for controlled substances and actually has her own DEA license).

4th grade is a little young to diagnose the rest of his life.
Posted by RogerTheShrubber
Juneau, AK
Member since Jan 2009
281934 posts
Posted on 1/30/23 at 5:30 pm to
quote:

I guess my mind and priorities matured at some point.


Some get that drive later than others, doesn't hurt them a bit.

Posted by makersmark1
earth
Member since Oct 2011
18480 posts
Posted on 1/30/23 at 5:45 pm to
quote:

He’s 10 in the 4th grade.


10 is mighty young to apply to medical school or get in the C suite of a Fortune 500 company.

There is still time.

When he figures out that his bank account makes him handsome, he will put in the work.
Posted by olgoi khorkhoi
priapism survivor
Member since May 2011
15833 posts
Posted on 1/30/23 at 5:51 pm to
School was like a form of prison for me. Your kid may be a free-thinker. Sometimes the ones that can't be told what to do all the time like little robots end up creators/builders/achievers as adults. There is definitely life outside of the college pipeline. I wouldn't worry too much about it.

I dropped out of high school (last grade I passed was 9th) and if my federal tax bill was my income it would put me in the top 1% in Tennessee.
Posted by makersmark1
earth
Member since Oct 2011
18480 posts
Posted on 1/30/23 at 5:57 pm to
quote:

He’s 10 in the 4th grade.


I did not win the Nobel prize at 10.

I did not ever win it.

10 is mighty young to apply to medical school or get in the C suite of a Fortune 500 company.

There is still time. He can join the marines at 16 with your consent.

When he figures out that his bank account makes him handsome, he will put in the work.
Posted by DiamondDog
Louisiana
Member since Nov 2019
11970 posts
Posted on 1/30/23 at 5:58 pm to
quote:

Gifted is mostly IQ (and would explain lots of the issues you're discussing). If you don't challenge gifted kids correctly they don't care.


This has carried over in to my career. Not a good thing. Hopefully I'll grow up soon.
Posted by uaslick
Tuscaloosa
Member since May 2011
1057 posts
Posted on 1/30/23 at 6:07 pm to
quote:

avoid adderall at all costs imo, speaking from similar experience


I agree, unless he is diagnosed with ADHD. The description sounds like my whole school career from 1st grade through college. My oldest son (no pics; trying to be fair to the L-O-L-A Lola’s) was behaving exactly as described. I asked my doctor to test me for adult ADHD so I could evaluate any psychotic effects of medication. I have been on adderall for about 10 years (don’t take it as often as prescribed) and have had no adverse effects.

If he has ADHD at 5 years old he will have it at 55. It isn’t a “phase.” Get professional advice from somewhere other than the OT.
Posted by tigergirl10
Member since Jul 2019
10411 posts
Posted on 1/30/23 at 6:22 pm to
quote:

I watched a brilliant kid just not give a shite, and lay in bed not going to school
What kind of parent would allow this?
Posted by BoudinChicot
Member since Sep 2021
1624 posts
Posted on 1/30/23 at 6:31 pm to
Is it learning he doesn't like or the structure of 'school'? These are two very different things and I suspect his issue is the latter.

I struggled with the overly disciplinarian and authoritative nature of grade school, getting herded around by bells like cattle, having to ask permission to take a piss, the busy work etc etc.

Average in grade school. Got to college, found my calling and never looked back, bachelors masters and PhD later.

Find what he likes and ignite that passion. Itll help him through the grade school monotony.
Posted by Ten Bears
Florida
Member since Oct 2018
4235 posts
Posted on 1/30/23 at 6:47 pm to
Similar situation here. 13 yo/7th grader. Thought it was ADD. He wouldn’t pay attention in class, constantly got in trouble for talking in class. Put him on meds. Didn’t work. Took him off the meds. Made average grades.

Kid was accepted into Duke TIP in the 4 and 5 grades so it’s not an intelligence thing. I just think school today sucks.

I mean when I went to school, pre high school, the homework was minimal. I had plenty of time for sports and still did well I. School. Now these fricking teachers suck. They assign so much homework I truly believe that some kids just tune out after awhile. My son goes to school from 8-3, and has swim practice, which is brutal, for an hour and a half everyday. Then he has 3-3.5 hours of homework. And most of it is stupid busy work.

We have had to monitor his studying so we make sure it gets done, but sometimes the kid just looks exhausted. Throw in puberty/hormones and you have a recipe for apathy.

Posted by Allister Fiend
Member since Jan 2016
912 posts
Posted on 1/30/23 at 7:20 pm to
My 14 yo is the same. Not too worried with school Just wants to pass. Everyone says he is super respectful. I guess we should be really happy about that aspect. Works his arse off in the weight room. Coaches love him. We’ve even considered taking that outlet away but I don’t think it will affect him much.
Posted by Catahoula20LSU
Louisiana
Member since Oct 2011
2562 posts
Posted on 1/30/23 at 7:30 pm to
My youngest son was like this. Scored 90% or better on the standardized tests. Didn’t like school. Just started doing line crew work. College isn’t for everyone. Steer him toward vo-tech. What does he like to do?
Posted by Bubb
Member since Mar 2010
4094 posts
Posted on 1/30/23 at 7:32 pm to
quote:

What kind of parent would allow this?


Many. A lot of today's parents are either trying to be their kids' best friend, are scared of their kid, or don't have the time or energy to care.
Posted by Coach72
Lafayette
Member since Dec 2009
1512 posts
Posted on 1/30/23 at 8:59 pm to
quote:

Anyone have a kid that just doesn’t care about school?


Yep, about 117 of them every day.

That's okay though, as long as the rest of us keep working, the government will give them what they need to survive.
Posted by Rza32
Member since Nov 2008
4107 posts
Posted on 1/30/23 at 9:01 pm to
Had to throw in the brilliant part. Most people think their kids are brilliant, but they’re not.
Posted by RogerTheShrubber
Juneau, AK
Member since Jan 2009
281934 posts
Posted on 1/30/23 at 9:02 pm to
quote:

School was like a form of prison for me. Your kid may be a free-thinker. Sometimes the ones that can't be told what to do all the time like little robots end up creators/builders/achievers as adults.


I'm with you. I grew up reading encyclopedias, I loved to learn but school structure was too strict for me. I did much better in college.
Posted by Goldrush25
San Diego, CA
Member since Oct 2012
33833 posts
Posted on 1/30/23 at 9:09 pm to
quote:

Goldrush, when did you do this, what age? And why? Did you choose to move out, or forced?



I moved out at 22, parents didn't force me. I just felt compelled to move out and experience life on my own. I wanted to do housework (or not do it) as I pleased, watch TV and play video games as much as I wanted without being bugged, have friends over as much as I wanted, and I got to do all of that. What also came with it was months of eating hamburger helper, running out of gas on the I-10 near Laplace and having the electricity in my apartment shut off, which kinda made me get my priorities in order.

I guess I should mention a huge detail, I ended up in the Army shortly after that 6-month stint on my own which was the best decision of my life. I know OP may not want his son to go to the military but it straightened me up and really set the table for the rest of my life.
This post was edited on 1/30/23 at 9:15 pm
Posted by samson73103
Krypton
Member since Nov 2008
8777 posts
Posted on 1/30/23 at 9:09 pm to
Had two like that. Both are now well adjusted adults.
Posted by greenbean
USAF Retired - 31 years
Member since Feb 2019
5731 posts
Posted on 1/30/23 at 9:10 pm to
Show him the tread of the gu with the homeless next door, tell him if he blows off school and ends up poor, that will be his life.
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