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re: Anybody here eat their words on how to raise kids after becoming a parent?
Posted on 6/14/17 at 2:49 pm to OysterPoBoy
Posted on 6/14/17 at 2:49 pm to OysterPoBoy
quote:
More stress on the weekends with kids.
Work is easier.
Would never give them away.
Young kids make Monday's much more enjoyable than they used to be.
I think people are afraid to admit this, but there is some truth to it. You look forward to the peace and quiet going back to work. Mine is only 1 and the weekend consist of ways to keep him busy and entertained. Maybe when he can entertain himself some it might slow down....maybe
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Posted on 6/14/17 at 2:51 pm to FishinTygah84
Eating is the biggest. I still make them sit at the table for every meal but it's not worth it to send them to bed hungry because then my sleep will be affected. They'll get applesauce or something before bed
Posted on 6/14/17 at 2:54 pm to damnedoldtigah
quote:
when all is said and done, you throw out all of the naïve idealisms, love them, and do the best you can with what you know and have to work with at the time. Kids definitely do not come with instruction books and they're not robots.
Agree completely, we have stuck to our guns for the most part on what we feed him and what his schedule is. But it makes it a lot easier (for now) that he will eat anything, loves baths, and will sleep for 12 hours at night (was not always this way).
Posted on 6/14/17 at 3:00 pm to TigerSaint1
Babies are actually a walk in the park compared to teens, but all phases of development have their challenges and frustrations.
Yeah, that was one of the problems in our home. My wife started retreating to her office to avoid our teenaged daughter. It was a problem and very frustrating.
In terms of early childhood, one may want to deny it, but kids come into this world with their own hardwiring, temperament, and programming. We can teach them the best we can, but we rarely change them.
Yeah, that was one of the problems in our home. My wife started retreating to her office to avoid our teenaged daughter. It was a problem and very frustrating.
In terms of early childhood, one may want to deny it, but kids come into this world with their own hardwiring, temperament, and programming. We can teach them the best we can, but we rarely change them.
Posted on 6/14/17 at 3:29 pm to jrodLSUke
quote:
That was my plan. Then my kids turned out to be so skinny that I'm afraid CPS
Your job as a parent is to teach your kids how to handle adversity so they aren't little shits when they are 18. If they don't want the food you put in front of them, they aren't hungry. If they choose to go hungry, that is on them. They learn rather quickly, I assure you.
I have a 3 and 4 year old. Both have gone to day care without breakfast and have gone to bed without eating much. After a few rounds of that, they suddenly developed a more diverse pallet and are willing to eat when we want them to.
Still alive, happy and full of love for their parents, if you were wondering.
Posted on 6/14/17 at 3:38 pm to FishinTygah84
Not me. I vowed to be a hard-arse on my kids, and I still am.
They're 11 and 13 and we have no video games in our home, they make straight A's, and they assume the answer to any request will be NO.
They're 11 and 13 and we have no video games in our home, they make straight A's, and they assume the answer to any request will be NO.
Posted on 6/14/17 at 3:43 pm to damnedoldtigah
quote:
In terms of early childhood, one may want to deny it, but kids come into this world with their own hardwiring, temperament, and programming. We can teach them the best we can, but we rarely change them.
This. I've raised two to adulthood, and they were as different as different can be. I laugh at some of the comments here when the topic is kids getting into trouble, doing something wrong, being lazy, etc. and many automatically jump to "poor parenting". In some cases, maybe. In most, I'd bet it's 100% on the kid. You can raise them any way you want to, there's no guarantee that they accept it or apply it.
After my parenting experiences, I'm very much Nature over Nurture.
Posted on 6/14/17 at 3:55 pm to FishinTygah84
so much word eating. i was never going to use the tv as a babysitter...oh, well.
also totally guilty of pigeonholing them according to what we thought their talents and interests were.
the sensitive, vulnerable one was definitely going to do something artistic and be in a low paying job for life. she just graduated from law school. total shock.
the one who we never worried about dropped out of architecture school, losing her scholarship and took a year off school. another total shock. this one we thought could never live on a budget but has supported herself entirely throughout her "gap year".
also totally guilty of pigeonholing them according to what we thought their talents and interests were.
the sensitive, vulnerable one was definitely going to do something artistic and be in a low paying job for life. she just graduated from law school. total shock.
the one who we never worried about dropped out of architecture school, losing her scholarship and took a year off school. another total shock. this one we thought could never live on a budget but has supported herself entirely throughout her "gap year".
Posted on 6/14/17 at 4:00 pm to ShoeBang
quote:
Your job as a parent is to teach your kids how to handle adversity so they aren't little shits when they are 18. If they don't want the food you put in front of them, they aren't hungry. If they choose to go hungry, that is on them. They learn rather quickly, I assure you.
I don't have kids and don't want them and don't know dick about raising them.. and I freakin hate a picky eater. But anytime I've seen this topic discussed, it seems pretty apparent that not everyone gets lucky when it comes to kids. I've read a few people say their kids dropped to a dangerously low percentile because they were just fine starving themselves rather than eating what they don't like.
I'd hate to be stuck with that kid, but it sounds like kids like that do exist. I don't know if it is fair for the rest of us to shite on someone who has that extreme of a kid.
Posted on 6/14/17 at 4:05 pm to LouisianaLady
quote:
I don't know if it is fair for the rest of us to shite on someone who has that extreme of a kid.
Wasn't shitting on anyone. Just because outliers exist doesn't make my statement false.
People who always point out petty shite like this really hamper the process when discussing problems. Yes, there are some Asians that can drive. Yes, there are some white people who don't live in $350k homes and don't have a trust fund. Thanks for pointing it out.
Not every statement about child rearing applies to every fricking kid on the planet. We get it. Outliers are outliers. They don't conform to the norm.
Attack problems big to small. I know nothing about the kids or the parents, but averages say that if you deny a kid who's being picky, eventually they will start eating.
This post was edited on 6/14/17 at 4:08 pm
Posted on 6/14/17 at 4:05 pm to damnedoldtigah
quote:
In terms of early childhood, one may want to deny it, but kids come into this world with their own hardwiring, temperament, and programming. We can teach them the best we can, but we rarely change them.
this is such a true statement. you can maybe refine them a bit, they are who they are.
Posted on 6/14/17 at 4:07 pm to FishinTygah84
Absolutely.
Posted on 6/14/17 at 4:09 pm to CAD703X
1st kid eats dirt- you take them to the ER
2nd kid eats dirt- you monitor them for a couple of hours
3rd kid eats dirt- good, they had supper
2nd kid eats dirt- you monitor them for a couple of hours
3rd kid eats dirt- good, they had supper
Posted on 6/14/17 at 4:13 pm to ShoeBang
Well, I wasn't necessarily calling those kids outliers.
FWIW, I'd probably do the same tough approach you speak of. Just saying my opinion changed after reading this discussion on here so many times.
Gris Gris brought up a good point about how memories at the dinner table with your family should be memories you look back on fondly. And how some family member of hers (can't remember the story) was forced to sit at the dinner table for hours to eat and/or go without dinner and how that person only has shite memories/opinions about family dinnertime.
That's really want made me reconsider my opinion on it.
Obviously, some kids are made to eat what is cooked and turn out just fine.
FWIW, I'd probably do the same tough approach you speak of. Just saying my opinion changed after reading this discussion on here so many times.
Gris Gris brought up a good point about how memories at the dinner table with your family should be memories you look back on fondly. And how some family member of hers (can't remember the story) was forced to sit at the dinner table for hours to eat and/or go without dinner and how that person only has shite memories/opinions about family dinnertime.
That's really want made me reconsider my opinion on it.
Obviously, some kids are made to eat what is cooked and turn out just fine.
Posted on 6/14/17 at 4:20 pm to LouisianaLady
quote:
Well, I wasn't necessarily calling those kids outliers
Again, you are personalizing an impersonal idea. No one called those specific kids outliers as if it was a bad thing. There are rules and there a exceptions to those rules. Normal and abnormal. Doesn't mean anything negative.
A kid that is willing to starve themselves is exactly what I said they are: an outlier to the average. Knowing about a certain kid is none of my concern. I am telling you that on average, the approach I recommended works. If it doesn't then obviously other steps and methods have to be taken and applied. I did not think I had to spend the time or energy spelling that out to anyone, but here we are.
Posted on 6/14/17 at 4:22 pm to FishinTygah84
quote:
If their clothes got dirty, immediately change them into new one
Man you guys were completely clueless.
Posted on 6/14/17 at 4:23 pm to REB BEER
quote:
Not me. I vowed to be a hard-arse on my kids, and I still am. They're 11 and 13 and we have no video games in our home, they make straight A's, and they assume the answer to any request will be NO.
Good luck with that. I was raised that way for much of my life by my stepfather. Today, I wouldn't piss up his arse if his guts were on fire.
Posted on 6/14/17 at 4:25 pm to FishinTygah84
Ate my words on never owning a mini-van (glad I did it when they were younger, those damned things are handy as hell).
Held strong on not having a TV in their rooms until 15 and no cell phones until 13.
Held strong on not having a TV in their rooms until 15 and no cell phones until 13.
Posted on 6/14/17 at 4:28 pm to ShoeBang
quote:
I did not think I had to spend the time or energy spelling that out to anyone
I feel like the point of the thread was things you thought you'd do as a parent but once you become one, realized was not realistic to do. Unless I'm reading something wrong, I was reinforcing that. Stop being a dick - I wasn't arguing with you. I was agree with the entire point of the thread.. that it seems like people assume they'll do something and then inevitably in some way, their child won't take to it, so it goes out the window.
That's all I meant, turd.
Posted on 6/14/17 at 4:29 pm to High C
I've tried to stick to what I said, I haven't been perfect, but I try. It's mostly grandparents and a soft wife that screw things up for me, lol.
I remember people giving me shite about not having kids and how my opinions would change, that never happened. Parents are just the worst when it comes to talking about parenting. It's like talking politics nowadays, fruitless.
I remember people giving me shite about not having kids and how my opinions would change, that never happened. Parents are just the worst when it comes to talking about parenting. It's like talking politics nowadays, fruitless.
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